Collapsing Duality...Journal

To contact Brendan and Paula click:
Click Here for January 2010 Twin Flame Journal



Free will creates the fork in the road. Without free will we would be driving on a one way street without exit ramps and no time to stop and smell the roses.

To see the future is not about seeing "one" future, but about seeing many possible futures. To realize this is to realize we have free will. Thus, nothing is set in stone and our portraits that we paint of life are unique unto themselves - forever changing - yet, intimately connected.

There are forks in the road in which we travel. There are 3-way intersections, 4-way intersections and exit ramps for us to get off at, when we feel we need a break while we travel this path, so as long we recognize our own free will.

For the past 3 months I have been sitting at a red light that has refused to turn green. Only just recently did I realize that this red light I had been sitting at wasn't on a timer. No, this red light was waiting for me.

Well, I have since "willed" that light to turn from red to green, and I have gone through that intersection. Up ahead down the road a ways, I see many amazing things. A whole new highway full of amazing possibilities is about to open up.


Brendan & Paula

 to ALL



This has been the hardest stretch of my life - hands down - I have ever been through. Many times I have felt death nearby. I know I am being tested. Heck, tested doesn't even compare. The number of hardships that have been stacking up upon my plate has been ridiculous. Only, many are too personal to share. I wish I could to remain true and real but it's just too personal. 

I remember this old cartoon with Tom & Jerry where Tom has all these dishes he is holding up because Jerry keeps tossing them to him. Tom does not want to drop a dish and break it because the maid will come out and kick him in the ass for making noise. So, Jerry keeps tossing him plates until Tom has both hands out and one leg - all stacked with plates and cups that rise all the way to the ceiling. I forget what happened to make all of those plates fall - I think Jerry might have thrown an olive or something into one of the cups at the top - don't know. But what a thunderous sound, all those dishes made, when they all broke. However, the point being - I have felt like that since Paula has gone. One thing after another has been stacking up.

Well, yesterday, a crack formed in this dam that has been holding our lives back and keeping Paula and I from being with each other. That crack formed when I received a phone call from a company I recently submitted my resume to... As soon as I listened to the answering maching, I knew it :)

Last night when I was at a family Christmas party, every now and then I would go off into my own world and tap into the voice behind that message on the answering machine and feel it out. That's when I began to realize, that's it - IT'S OVER!!! This holding pattern is OVER!

Then, today I called the woman back and she said they liked my resume so much that they offered me the job on the spot - without an interview!

Ladies and Gentlemen - The flood gates have opened.

...a crack forms, the dam breaks and PAULA - HERE I COME baby :)

Yeahhhhhh!!! Double pump - Yeahhhhh!!!

I'm so off the hook with energy right now. My emotions are swinging in both directions. They swing from happiness, because I know that Paula and I will be reunited again - to defiance, because this test has not broken me. In fact, when events like this happen in my life (and this is the biggest one of them) I am just getting going. Brendan is not one to be held down by anybody and for any reason. To have had the love of my life pulled from my arms has left my hands tied and our lives put on a holding pattern. (Note: holding pattern  = death - FYI ) Now that I have sliced and sawed my way out of these knots that have bound my hands and feet, I'm ready to kick some ass!!! 

Haha to the Universe. Oh is that all you have??? Come on!!!
In my mind I shout out at the universe declaring, "Hahaha, you couldn't break us - You can't break us. Pay it forward or pay it back, the future is now with us...and thus - we are unbreakable!!!"

They say, "what doesn't break you, can only make you stronger." Well, I say, "A lesson from the universe that was designed to make me learn and be stronger - has created a spirited monster that refuses to go away because the love he has for his Twin Flame cannot be described with any written word, in any sort of way."

A Twin Flame relationship is beyond words, painting, pictures and songs. The only way to capture or understand this relationship is to seek it out. Then, when you have found it, with both of your arms - Grab it and never let go!!!

To Paula - I Love You :)

See ya soon baby. Our reunion is only weeks away :)

To The Universe - don't!!! We get the message :)

Thank You for this Beautiful Christmas Gift. 

The best gifts are the ones you don't need to wrap. Those are the gifts that come from the heart.

That's all that really matters at Christmas Time

Michael Jordan fades back......and SWISH! NOTHIN' BUT NET!!!

Note from Paula:  
Yes, the heaven's have opened and God is shining on us once again.  I'm so thankful for this day.  I knew this day would come and I never lost faith...even when I felt as if my heart would burst.  I am an optimist and I knew God would come through.  I've learned a valuable lesson from all of this.  That lesson is to have trust and faith.  Use the power of intention with the universe and your universe will flourish.  Once again... The Royal Divine Spirit of the Great I AM has blessed us.  I pray in Infinite thankfulness, love and gratitude.

To Brendan:
  I love you too.  My heart is filled with so much happiness.  I know you feel it.  Sacred're coming home.  :)


12/21/2009 or 11 22 11

Anybody wanna live on Cape Cod? It has its pros and cons. For instance: In the summertime you can drive in all 4 directions, hit the beaches and bask in the sun. Now for the cons ;) In the winter time the precipitation is usually rain because of the proximity to the Gulf Stream waters. However, on occasion, just like what happened yesterday - you can get burried with snow - like 20 inches of it! Hahaha - I guess I wouldn't make a good real estate agent even though sales is in the blood. I had a sales job once and failed miserably at it because of the way the commission structure was set up. In the end, I couldn't bring myself to sell a product to honest hard working people - especially when I knew it was highway robbery. Eventually the company got shut down when people started complaining. That's what they get for being crooked! By that time, I had already moved on to a non-sales related job.

Since I lost my job as an RF Engineer last January, I am back doing what I did 13 years ago. What is that? Climbing telephone poles and hooking people up with cable, telephone and internet service. How's that for Collapsing some duality - LOL! I work may way all the way up to RF Engineer and actually had my own private office and now this. Oh well, some things you just cannot control in life - like the dot com bubble. The telecom business has just not been the same since.

The one good thing about being knocked all the way back down to the bottom rung of the ladder is the fact that I get to meet new people everyday. In a given week I get to know: old people, young people, middle aged people, happy people, sad people, lonely people,  fortunate people, people losing their homes, people rising to the top.

I'll give you an example: I met this one old lady about 3 weeks ago. I had come to her home because her son had gotten her a computer and I needed to install a router so she could go wireless. So, as I was installing her router she begins to tell me how her daughter refused to call her and with Christmas coming, she worried about this. She worried because she wanted to see her grand daughter and her own daughter wouldn't even let her talk to her on the phone. So I listened as I usually do and made some suggestions to her about what she could do in that sort of situation. By the time I was done with the router, she had prepared me a plate of chocolate chip cookies and milk. She wouldn't let me leave until I sat down at her kitchen table with her and ate some of them. Well, I ended up eating about 8 out of ten of those cookies by the time all was said and done. I could tell she was sad to see me go, but I made her day just the same by being her company and listening to her.

Today on the other hand was nasty. I ended up trudging through snow that was over my knees. By 10 AM my feet were soaking wet and freezing. Today was no fun at all.

So anyway, still interested in trading places with me on Cape Cod???



Interesting night thus far. So far I've made two journeys at the request of 2 different visitors to this site. One of these visitors emailed me at my youtube site and asked me to send some light to her and her Twin Flame.  Well, I did just that. Tonight however, I got curious to see where her spirit self stood in God's Creation. I was told everything I needed to know - and it's ALL GOOD :)

Another visitor emailed me and told me of how she was "feeling like two different people." She went on to say, "I feel like my ego is at battle with my wiser self. Can you help?"

I can offer advice because I am going through the same battle myself. In fact, almost every email I receive at Collapsing Duality tells of very similar tales. This path is beautiful and it is also hard. We are all going through this awakening, whether you are with or without the (physical) company of your divine compliment. 

I myself am in the middle of one hell of a battle between fear and love. In the end I know that at the 3D level I will be lucky to walk away with the shirt on my back. Yet, on a spiritual level, I will know what love is for eternity. Ohhh, how I pray for peace. I pray every night for peace of heart and mind for all of our children.

I know what I've been told by The Angels about who these people are. I even got to meet the higher self of one of them. She flew in at such an angle and that even though I was standing ( in spirit form ) she came in and stopped ( levitating ) so that we were face to face. Eventually, she swung her feet down to the ground so that we stood before each other and held hands as a sign of reunion. 

Now Paula will go in and have a journey to verify. In fact, she is doing this right now - as I write :) I must say, we will only disclose the incarnate names of our visitors if they write me and tell me it is okay to do so - unlike how we did things in the past. However, we will be adding their Higher Self names in the appropriate places.

End note: While Paula and I are able to find the spirit selves of incarnate beings who request it, in the end it will be up to you and you alone to make that contact with your higher self. This is how it was designed to happen from the beginning. 

While Paula and I can introduce you to your higher self, we prefer to let it happen the way it was supposed to happen. 

Heaven is not seeking us, it is guiding us. For only when we are lead by Heavens guidance, then we may complete the cycle of spiritual enlightenment and discover the reasons behind what we are here For.



Contact has been made again.

Please welcome Leah, whose higher self name is Idavilaxion.

I first discovered Idavilaxion when I made a journey to Eric's higher self. In doing so, I wound up having a mini family reunion. It was me (Protilius), Pamaritius and Idavilaxion.

 Indeed CONTACT has been made again :) Just read the pyramid page if you have not already seen it. Paula and I have made multiple journeys over the past week, to the incarnate self of Idavilaxion whose name is Leah. Several times each we have journeyed alone to her at her home in Utah. However, on Sunday night, (12/13/2009) Paula and I both journeyed to her and we found her reading a book and laying down on her couch. When she realized what was going on, she looked THROUGH the book and began talking to the both of us in her head. We had a 3-way conversation that lasted about a half hour. We talked about her being able to hear us and how long she's been doing it. She replied, "I've been talking to spirits since I was a little girl." I responded, "Well, Paula and I are spirits, we are not talking to you from the other side. In fact, we are talking to you from Massachusetts and Ohio."

I've started writing a new article. It will be called, (as a working title) "Finding Pamaritius and Idavilaxion." Originally I was going to name it Finding Idavilaxion, but I couldn't have found her if a particular visitor to this web site by the name of Eric had not journeyed to us first :) Besides, both are equally important, just as the rest of you are in this awakening.

In essence, it is actually Eric who found us, LOL! He was right underneath our noses all of this time. The same could be said for Melody in Brazil whose higher self name is Invarilian. In fact we have been in touch at the 3D level with her, longer than anybody else - even Protharus and Idagordava. Like Eric, Melody is another seeker and has been right underneath our noses all the time.

This article, "Finding Pamaritius and Idavilaxion" will be the latest addition to the I Am Dialogues. I have 2 pages roughed out already.

My last contact with Leah was this afternoon. I buzzed her at her place of work and asked her if she had visited the site yet.

Here are two paragraphs that I have that I will share with you now.


Traditionally, we are been born into families only knowing the localized connectedness between those very members of that family, however many that may be – 3, 4 or perhaps even 6 (including mom and dad.) However, when a person begins to realize that their connectedness reaches beyond the bounds of their localized families here on Earth, they become open to the realization and may even even experience their Twin Flame along with the rest of their soul family, under God.

One more excerpt:

If we can understand what it is like to have a family here on Earth, then I ask you to imagine what it is like to be part of a pyramid soul family? From top to bottom – the pyramid starts with a marriage of two souls and spreads out to the base, many generations below. Within this pyramid, souls are created by the union of divine feminine and masculine. And even though the primary components or building blocks of this pyramid are made up of Twin Flames, after each generation of creation, they all come together to create the next, and on and on and on… However, not all souls are created solely by divine compliments. With the bond they all share together as part of one soul family, they create children amongst each other by putting their hands together and willing it to be so, unlike how we bring children to birth here on the Earth.

To Paula - I posted this video by The Cars because I know it is one you've always loved. It also reminds me of how when either one of us feel like we cannot go on any longer, we end up saving each other by breathing new life into each others hearts and souls.

This video is for you Paula and all other Twin Flames who are on this path.



Shouts out to Melody in Brazil (aka - Invarilian) and Eric in New Jersey (aka - Pamaritius). Thanks for writing and your support :)

Well, we do have much to report regarding the Pyramids as Paula made an amazing journey to Idavilaxion the other night. In that journey she learned of about a dozen new higher self names. She also has the incarnate first names of some of these people that we will share on the Pyramids Page when she sends me the details.

I am glad that Paula finally got to meet Idavilaxion who is Eric's spirit mom. Doing so, she confirmed for me how I saw her (Idavilaxion) in my journey mode and described her just the same way. BTW, we are still talking to Eric through email and at my request, he made a successful journey to Protharus' incarnate self and described his home/office/studio just the way we have seen it. We know he hit his target because Paula and I never shared that information with anybody - it only exists in our hand written journals. Good job, Eric - you hit your mark with amazing accuracy. 

I think that etiquette while journeying is a good idea and I encourage it. As soon as you focus and set your attention on a target or person, ask permission to converse :) same we we do it here on Earth.

So how was everybody feeling today on this 12/12 day??? Hehehe - I'll tell you what, it was no joke! I felt more like John Malkovich than I did myself. Today was a rough one. IT's hard to explain really, it's just that there are these feelings inside and I don't even know where they are coming from. Not all of them were very pleasent ones either. I don't really believe this spiritual awakening is supposed to be all squishy feeling anyway. That is why I write about the positive and negative of this path. While I realize that some of us would rather hear the positive all of the time, it's just not that way. If you don't believe me, ask your higher self ;) They will tell you quite another story. However, do not get scared either. In the end there is only balance. It's just that sometimes we find ourselves on the positive side of this waveform and other times we find ourselves on the negative side - like a sine wave. And when we draw a line right down the middle of those peaks and valleys, collapsing all of those ups and downs, we will realize that balance. Click HERE to get a visual of what I am trying to describe.

I posted some new videos on the home page and here (at the top). Within another week I should have the home page loaded with Christmas videos. Paula just reminded me that there is this one song I forgot about that is on my ipod. I have to go find it now and see if there is a video for a it.

One more thing Paula just reminded me about: In her journeys she has been seeing an Angel she has not seen before. We are thinking that she is seeing Heath, the Angel I channeled in the latest Twin Flame story by Cindy and Heath. It seems that Heath is hard at work on getting Paula's attention. I can't blame him either as I have been so aloof with everything going on in my life. We will bring you more details about this if and when we learn more.

I am going to write one more paragraph regarding the pyramids. Did you notice that I said, pyramids with an "s" at the end? That is because it is plural and means that there is more than ONE or 1. It also means that while Paula and I are Mom and Dad to this one soul family in which we talk about most, there are other Moms and Dads (thousands) out there to other soul families. There is no pyramid that is any better than the other in the eyes of God. However, some work in the positive side of the energy spectrum, while others work in the negative side. If you don't believe me, then journey and find out for yourself. When you're done, write me an email about your findings :)

So what if you are part of the 700th generation of souls or part of the original 8 - It doesn't matter!

I just feel I should say this from time to time, because there is no rank in the pyramids, like there is in the military or governments of the world. When I talk about generations and say that Protharus is part of the 4th generation of souls created within the pyramid, it has nothing to do with politics or rank, but rather what branch of the family tree or row of building blocks that make up a pyramid. The pyramid is our symbol of the soul family.

It is what it is and we should put down these 3D belief systems once and for all because they will only hold us back. And they do (these past belief systems) hold us back.

We thank you all for making Collapsing Duality what it is ;)

Note from Paula:  Babe, I love what you wrote, and I couldn't have said it any better.  Muaaaaaah.



Like Paula made mention to in her last journal update, there is lots of hard news on the homefront. I realize people come here to understand and read stories about the trials of Twin Flames, but lately it has been really hard to concentrate on the spiritual path when so many things are affecting loved ones so close to me - myself included. While most of them are too personal to go into any great depth, I will say that I will be prematurely uprooted from where I am living now because companies like the one I work for, keep cutting back hours. Then, my former spouse lost her job, which came completely unexpected. So, in order for me to make a living and provide for my children, my life is going to become very crazy. In fact, it has already become crazy as I scramble to come up with alternative solutions to the crisis. In the end however, this will bring me back to Paula - which is good, very good. It's just not the way an honest hard working man like me wanted it to play out. However, the universe is showing me something different and this is the way it must go. I have to believe it is for the better.

With everything going on, I haven't had much time to write on here. Between my Uncle passing away and his wake, loss of jobs/hours, reduced income, living away from my love Paula, having my internet shut off and many other things too personal to share, I haven't been able to find the words, let alone been able to write them if I could. I imagine that this is the way it is going to be for a little while. Just bare with me for awhile until things settle down. Paula has a lot going on as well, but she will be able to keep you better informed than I can at this point. She will do this, when she has time as her life is increasingly hectic too.

My story or our story should I say, is not THE STORY. These things are affecting almost everybody. Regardless of what you hear on the News, things are not nearly as positive as they make them out to be. Anybody who is close enough to the street and able to talk to common folk, like I do everyday will know that things are much worse than what we are being told. For instance: when I hear that there is 10.2 % unemployment, I laugh and declare, "FARSE!" Where did they get this figure of 10.2%??? Did that come from a Diebold voting maching? LOL!!! Anybody with eyes can see and ears will hear, that things are not what they seem and the next time you watch the news, listen with the ears of a critic and look at those anchor men and women out of the corner of your eye, questioning everything. 

In the meantime, keep sending us those stories :) I am not hanging up my hat just because things get tough on the homefront. I would never give up on my spiritual path or Paula. I could not and will not. Paula and I will be together again, very soon.

Also, that was a great poem that Paula share with us by Robert Frost, was it not? This spritual path is indeed a road less traveled. But, it also a road that when followed with an open heart, can make all of the difference.



Tonight I find myself wanting to write in a few different places but I'm going to choose the journal for now.  Many things have happened since I last wrote.  I'm still in Ohio living with my parents and my children.  I never thought the economy or circumstances in life would have me situated here and in financial dire straits.  I'm not complaining.  Being a nurse in the psychiatric field has taught me to know it could be worse and to thank God for what I do have.  I have a great job finally and I hope it lasts or should I say I'll last.  It's a new area in the psychiatric field for me but I'm going to do my best.  I feel like I have support from my colleagues.  The kids are in their Christmas programs this week.  I can't wait to watch my little stars shine.  

I've heard some really crazy bad news from people I'm very close to.  In the last 24 hours I've heard about my aunt's brother having to go live in an Extended Stay motel because he and his family where evicted from their home.  My best friend's dog died.  Then B told me he lost his phone, Internet, and cable and someone else lost their job.   The best quote from all those situations was... "It's raining rocks."  The problem is that rocks are raining all over the world.  Some people are hit harder than others.  I want to stay positive as much as possible.

That brings me to the concept of Collapsing Duality.  Brendan and I heard the name and thought that would be the perfect name to the site for twin flames. However, when we started Collapsing Duality we had never thought we'd have so many readers.  Thank you all for coming back.  I'm humbled by the warmth of our acceptance.  Anyway, when we made this site we thought about just collapsing the duality in our own lives and our own twin flame experience.  Now we know there's way more to it.  Collapsing Duality is more than just a Twin Flame site.  It's about acceptance of everyone no matter what race, religion, or what your sexual preference is.  It's about reaching out to one another and offering a helping hand.  It's about passing on kindness to someone everyday even when its a stranger.  It's about love.

We all go through our lives situations and some of them are pretty devastating but we must keep focus on what's important.  What's important?  Loving each other.  

Here's a poem I've always loved reading and I'm not sure why I wanted to share it tonight after what I've written but here it is.  

"The Road Not Taken."  by Robert Frost

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;
Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,
And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.
I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I-
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference. 

My dream is to make the road that's less traveled the only road there is.
My road in this poem is love.


11/29/2009 or 11/11/11

Please enjoy the new Twin Flame Story by Cindy and Heath by clicking HERE

Thank you Cindy for submitting your story to us :) and sharing it with the world. Next to meditation and prayer, there is no better way to send your intents out into the universe than by sharing it on the internet. The more people that are made aware, the more powerful the message becomes.  What is that message? That your love of your Twin Flame and the story altogether, is REAL!

Smiles :)

I labelled this latest journal entry CDJournal-Dec2009 because when the first of the year hits, we will be going month by month. Whereas we have been going journal date to journal date. It just doesn't make sense anymore to do it that way. So, come the next year, we will label the updates: TwinFlameJournal-January2010 and so on...

I received a phone call from my Mother today. She told me that my uncle (her brother) had passed. I was sad to hear this. He had fallen a few weeks back and broken some ribs. And, being in such a frail state as he already was, it was just too much.

God, I will miss him. He was def my favorite Uncle. I am already talking to and hearing him. My sister his helping to guide him right now - amongst many other things she does. 

Angels - they have to be quick. We think we're busy in our day to day lives, but wait til you see what the Angels do. It's mind blowing!

On a side note: my sense of smell has been restored. Being psychic and having a psychic nose is not very pleasant at all. This is one ability I wish I could lose - like, YESTERDAY!!!

That's it for today.

Love B



Well, another Thanksgiving has come and is on its way out. Next stop - Christmas! I always enjoy Christmas for the little ones, especially :) It's really a holiday for the children. However, for this site, I have decided to add one Christmas video each week, starting now and ending the week of Christmas. Keep in mind that my taste in Christmas music is all over the place and rather eclectic. Maybe that's because I grew up listening to the old school stuff like: Williams, Cole, Ives and Mathis - which is not bad either ;)

You can also find that video HERE

On another note: We received a new Twin Flame story submission from Jason. Thank you Jason and Etta :) We appreciate your courage and heart to post your story here. The fact that you represent the masculine perspective in a time when fewer males than females are coming forward about these spiritual relationships, is a breath of fresh air. But then again, all of your stories are just that and so much more. 

- break -

We all have walls to break down in order for us to move forward
 We all have ice to melt from our wings before we can fly
 We all have ropes to cut before our ship can set sail
Off into that place of ONENESS where ocean meets the sky -

side note: I don't know where that burst of poetic inspiration just came from but I'm leaving it there for now.  Ya neva know when it's gonna hit, poetry. LOL!

Anyway, back to the entry.

You can find Jason and Etta's story, HERE if you haven't already found it.

Beautiful story, Jason :)

As I have said in a recent journal update: Something special is happening here. I meant that too. Our hits here have increased on the order of 33% and that 33% of those hits, are new hits and they are finding this site by typing in the key words, "Twin Flame Signs." My gut tells me that this is what was really so special about the 11th month of 2009 - 11/11. Maybe I'm just looking too deep into this. But then again, maybe not. I pay attention to things around me and I think think that something special is happening here, no matter if we are with or without our divine compliment. To accomodate this increase of people finding their Twin Flames, we have started reworking the Twin Flame Signs page and will be adding to it.

Personally, I think it is just as important to discuss and share those stories of Twin Flames that cannot be together, as it is for those couples that can be together. By taking this approach, we can all gain by sharing multiple perspectives, rather than by taking the narrow approach and celebrating only those stories that are successfull. Looking at this way, I believe we can all teach each other something in some way. Maybe, just maybe, the answers lie within each one of these stories that we are making available here, at Collapsing Duality. Heck, I know I've learned  A LOT from all of you who have submitted stories here. I am no expert, nor do I claim to be. I am here to share the path that Paula and I are on and help others share their paths as well.

I certainly miss Paula on this Thanksgiving Day. Did I say "MISSING?" Well, that would be putting it lightly. I am like a fish out of water without her. SIghhh - a lonnnggggg siggghhhhhhhhhhh :| However, we are working as hard as we can at being with one another again. It is our goal to be with one another again and live happy - that's it! We just want to live happily and to experience each other for the rest of our days here on Earth. We are trying to make these happy days, too, since this is our last time incarnating here. So...we have decided to spend this time together, forever.

Personally, since Paula has been gone, trying to get things ready for our new life in Ohio, we have both been quite heart sick at not being with each other in the physical presence which we have become accustomed to. We journey to each other and visit each other in our dreams and waking hours, but we prefer to be together in the physical.

The Twin Flame Path is a beautiful path but is also a hard road to travel. But, this is not news to those who are aware. Just read the latest stories on the Your Story page or read this journal that I write in so often. Read the new page that Paula started which is called love letters and see how  beautiful and yet so tragic this path can be.

Anyways, let's keep up the momentum and keep our eyes on the prize.


Peace to everyone around the world :)


One more thing - be sure to check out our latest videos that we've added to Collapsing Duality on Youtube.



About 2 to 3 years ago when I was reading about Shamanism and Power Animals, I got an idea. That idea was: to find my power animal. At the time, I really didn't know exactly what that was. However, I journeyed without expectation because frankly, Brendan didn't know there was an animal akin to him.

Anyway, the idea for this journey came from the book "The Way of The Shaman" and "Fire In The Head."

On my very first journey I found a wolf. I couldn't believe it. There's no way I could make this up. For one, I didn't know anything about wolves - expecially being from Cape Cod. We do have Coyotes here. Anyways, this wolf appeared to me very much in the same way I perceive Paula and the beings of the pyramids I talk about on this site.

This wolf was gray in color and very playful. I even reached out to touch him and he nibbled at my fingers on the first journey. At first I thought it hurt, but then I remembered that it was only a journey and pain was impossible.

I journeyed many more times to that wolf over the next year or so. Sometimes I would journey to him and see him as pure energy - not the gray wolf - but PURE ENERGY - with points of red, green, white, gold and blue lights. These lights were his awareness and represented the spirit of my power animal in its truest form.

What made me decide to talk about Power Animals? Well, recently (about a week ago) I made a journey and wanted to find out if I had a new power animal or totem. I know that the people of the pyramids have power animals, so maybe, just maybe I had a new one???

Anyway, I was journeying as my merged self and thought the thought. I declared in my mind, "switch to my power animal." Let me tell you, the instant I thought the thought - BOOM! I was flying around and I was this really large bird. I do not know the name of my totem - not yet. I do not even know what kind of bird this is because it doesn't look like any bird I've ever seen. The closest bird it resembles would be the Hawk. Only, it has a much longer beak or bill.

The only reason I know this is because I switched awareness to the person I was journeying to and through this method, I was able to see what I had transformed into.

There is a reason I transformed into that Hawk that we shall call him for now. I journaled the experience. I had no idea that this was my totem. Protilius' totem was much different than that and so wasn't mine - the lone wolf.

I plan on getting to know this "hawk" and figuring out what he can do in the future. I'll be writing about it as I find out more.

On another note: please be sure to check out Paula's new creation - Love Letters

I like where you're going with this my love. You are most beautiful :)

Love B


One more thing. I was typing in things for Collapsing Duality on Google and I found a link to the article I wrote, entitled: How Twin Flames Connect.

I think it is amazing how an article I wrote over a year ago can touch people. This is the stuff that makes me feel good.

Find that article HERE



I was driving home from work today and put the radio on. I usually listen to 95.5 WBRU which is The Brown University radio station. They play great alternative. Anyways, I put on another station out of Boston and heard this really great song by the Black Eyed Peas. So, I pulled over and wrote the name of the song down because of the meaning of what the lyrics described/portrayed.

I looked up the video online this afternoon and found it was definintely a CD video. See for yourself.

Note: I posted the live version of this song here, at the top of the page and you can CLICK HERE to watch the official video (the must see) at Collapsing Duality's Youtube site.

It's amazing to me how some of the latest and greatest videos that our out there are portraying art imitating life. I think it is beautiful too.

Also, what's up with all the pyramids and space suits and multi dimensional love stories going mainstream.

© 2008, 2009 & 2010 by Collapsing Duality