The Holy Grail

Updated2/14/2013 ~
1 Year from the original message!

For the one year anniversary of this message I will be sharing a few small bits of information that I did not feel comfortable about sharing a year ago today. When you see words in red this is what I am talking about. Then, towards the end of the article I have written an update about what this experience means to me one year later. Thank you!


In the weeks leading up to the date of 2/14/2011 which I will go into in a moment, Paula began telling me of her experiences with Idavathian and how she was being told about Adam’s rib and how this relates to Twin Flames and mankind. Paula explained to me how Idavathian laid it out to her and how Eve was made from the side of Adam. I was amazed at how close this experience resembled the story that I was taught in Sunday School as a child. At the time, I remarked to Paula about how these experiences seem to be going biblical. She agreed. While Paula is writing about what she experienced and was told by Idavathian, we’ll have to wait until she publishes it before we can know all of the details. In the meantime, I will begin by sharing an important message that was delivered to me by Protilius. 

However, before I talk about my experience with Protilius and the blood, bone and chalice, I want to say that our journey (mine and Paula's together) has always been one that is straight down the middle - to the source! Because the content of our most recent journeys has both biblical symbolism and references that were delivered to us by our higher selves, I feel it is important to say that we do not side with any one particular religion or belief system. We are open to and welcome them all! Regardless of what is delivered in this message, know that Paula and I seek only the truth in its purest form. Part of the message that I am going to write about in this article today is not based on dogma or opinion - it is based on direct contact with the spirit. In other words, we journey in spirit form with them; ask questions and receive answers. This is similar to channeling but with journeying, you get to fly with the spirits and experience what they experience. Having said that, let's begin.

When Paula first told me about her experience with Idavathian and how she was being told by her that the story of Adam's rib was not just a "story" after all, and that it was true, my mind rejected it outright. Why? Because I had left all of that mumbo jumbo in the dust so that I could find the real truth. I became furious and for lack of a better way to put it - I freaked out! For some reason this story hit me at the deepest level of my soul and shook me to the core. I was not happy with what I was hearing.

That night, I thought about what Paula had said in regards to Adam's rib and thought this was another test by Protilius and Idavathian. They do test us you know!!! Having been sleep deprived with strange visions and dreams in the weeks preceding, I was already on edge and decided to show Protilius how upset I was, by kicking him out of my body. I was successful!

I was determined that Paula and I find the truth, the real truth - and would settle for nothing less! It was so much easier for me to digest the truth about pyramids and soul families. But I never thought we would be talking about Adam and Eve with our higher selves. Boy was I wrong!

The next few days, I felt this immeasurable sadness from not only Protilius, but Idavathian as well. This was because I kicked him out. I've felt this before from them and they felt as though they had failed me. But as the hours passed, I became less upset and thought maybe, just maybe, that Adam's rib is a real story and I sincerely apologized to Paula for how I reacted to her. The reaction that Adam's rib gave me was unexplainable. I'm still baffled as I write this article. I asked her if she would read me word for word what she had journaled about her experience and she did. Once again, I was amazed at how Paula's experience mirrored the story I was taught when I was a boy while attending Sunday School.

The following day, on 2/14/2011, I apologized to Protilius in a spirit journey and let him back inside my body. This time, I knew it was for good. It felt right this time!

Needless to say, Protilius wasted no time and began by showing me something that he felt, very important. I originally wrote about this experience in the Our Journal page at Collapsing Duality. It was dated: 2/15/2011. Here is what I wrote:

“Last night, I reconnected with my higher self, Protilius. I was shown by him a large gold chalice. I would call it a cup, but it was much bigger than a cup - more like a chalice. Anyway, in the gold chalice was blood. Real blood! In the blood, was a single bone that appeared to be more like a stirring rod - but was made of bone. I asked him why he was showing me this because to my mind, it was unsettling. He said, "the cup - this is your body; the blood - that is your soul; the bone - means you're part of my body."

One thing I didn’t think to write about in that journal entry was that at the very end of the journey with Protilius, the very last thing to be said, I heard Idavathian’s voice loud and clear, from out of the blue - say, “You are now broken!” Another note, for the record, Protilius also referred to the bone as "marrow" as well.

After the experience, I sat at the edge of my bed and wondered what on earth I had just been shown. There wasn't much explanation by Protilius and I thought that perhaps he intended it that way in order for me to absorb it. Nevertheless I saw very clearly, a large gold cup or chalice with designs or engravings on the side of it. The Eye of Horus symbol stood out most visibly! Then, as I approached the cup and looked into it, I could see that it was filled with blood. What is more…and this really made the experience that much more "real" - I could smell the blood as I stood over the chalice! The smell made my stomach turn. That’s when I noticed there was something in the blood. It was a bone! A very odd looking bone – one that I don’t recall ever having seen before!  I am no doctor, but I know what the human skeleton looks like and I have never seen this bone. The bone was thin and not too long as it was half in and half out of the blood, resting on the edge of the gold cup (for the lack of a better way to put it) like a stirring rod in a punch bowl. I knew the experience was of great significance and yet I was still not completely satisfied with the explanation that Protilius gave me when I asked him why he needed to show me this. He told me what it meant and yet I knew there was more - much more meaning! I knew I needed to go back to him in the spirit and find out why he showed me this.

Over the next two days I pondered what the meaning of the body, the blood and the bone meant. This all felt too biblical for my mind – especially for somebody like me and Paula who both rejected what was written in scripture in hopes we may find the real truth. That’s when I remembered what Paula had explained to me about Adam’s rib. I began to wonder if that bone I had seen in the chalice was a rib. Had my perceptions been off and mistaken this bone for something else? I knew that it couldn’t have been a rib because I know what a rib looks like and this was not a rib. So, what was this bone? I had to find out. I made up my mind and was going to journey to Protilius again.

Please note: in the journey I'm about to share, I have left some information out. When you see ________ this is one of those times. This is not to hide anything from you as there is much I will share that is important for everyone. The things that were left out were more just for Paula and myself and if we decide to share them, it will be later. 

Begin Journey - 

I closed my eyes while laying in bed and set my intents on Protilius who I knew was no longer without – but within, since our reconnecting. In other words, I did not have to look for him outside of myself, but within. No longer are Protilius and Idavathian separate from our bodies, they are a part of us now and will be to the end. What is more...when I hear their voices it is the same voice I hear when contacting the I Am. All 3 voices sound the same and are yet, unique! Was it God?

I said to Protilius, "When I asked you why you were showing me the cup that was filled with blood, you told me the relation to the obvious that was presented before me. What I really want to know is why you showed this to me? How is this so important? What significance does this have for me?"

Protilius said in two words, that rang crystal clear in my mind “________" and "________!"

NEW - 2/14/2012 ~ What did Protilius really say? Anointed and Christed!

When he said this, I thought for a moment that those are mighty big words to be coming from Protilius and yet, I had heard of Anointed before – somewhere (Sunday School?) yet I did not know what Christed meant. Jesus Christ?

I began again after figuring that I could always look those words up after the journey was over. 

Brendan: “Idavathian is telling Paula about Adam and Eve and how Eve was made from Adam. Is the bone that you showed me in the gold chalice the rib of Adam?”

Protilius: “the bone is Adam's but not a rib, it is referred to as the side but symbollically, means the same. This is why Idavathian chose the Rib over the original name. The bone means you are a part of me and with it now in the blood that is the soul; the cup – that is the body, signifies the return. A cycle has been completed and a new one begins. Not since the time of creation has the bone been in the blood of the cup.”

Brendan: “You call it the cup. I refer to it as a chalice because it is so much bigger and grander than a cup as you say. Could this cup also be referred to as the Holy Grail?”

Protilius: “Grail or chalice – they are one and the same as the cup I am referring to. The answer is yes! The cup that is your body; the blood that is your soul; and the bone that is returned from Eve, into the blood of the cup that is Adam, symbolizes not only yours and Paula’s transcending of the flesh but for all of humanity. A timeline has ended and a new one begins!"

Brendan: I thought the Holy Grail was used to catch the blood of Christ. Yet, we are talking about Adam and Eve? Are we talking about the same people - Adam & Eve/Jesus and Mary... Is this connected?

Protilius: We are getting ahead of ourselves. But to satisfy your curiosity, we are talking about the same spirits!

Brendan: How is it that I can experience the Holy Grail in the spirit form, when there are men and women searching all over the earth for this gold cup?

Protilius: The  True Holy Cup can only be found in the spirit. The gold cups that have been made on earth are just symbolic and there to portray the essence of the Sacred Grail that can only be found in Heaven. You and Paula are the Cup and the contents within it... both of you together! The cup also represents the Divine Union of all who come together in sacred marriage. Therefore, the same could be said of all Divine Complements.

Brendan: In the first journey where you mentioned the bone, you also referred to this bone, only on one occasion as - "the marrow." Why was it important for you to refer to it as "the marrow."

Protilius: A bone is a bone and while this one in particular symbolizes you are a part of me, it is also important not because of the bone itself, but because of the marrow inside that is important. The particular bone we are talking about was chosen because this would ensure that Eve would be equally as strong as Adam.

Brendan: I want to revisit our first experience where you first showed me the Grail. At the very end of that experience, the last words I heard were not yours, they were Idavathian’s. I heard her very clearly say or declare, "you are now broken." To be honest with you, I literally feel like I have been broken both figuratively and literally – at the soul and body level. My question is: what did Idavathian mean when she said to me "you are now broken?" There’s more to this. I can feel it.

Protilius: Idavathian was referring to the bread. To help you better understand what she meant, think of this experience as communion, like what you know on earth. In communion one accepts the body of The Christed or The Spirit by eating the bread and digesting it into their bodies. In this example, your body is the bread and that bread which is the physical body of Brendan - is broken!

Brendan: But what does that mean for me - a lightworker? You're talking about things that I have not touched upon in decades. Help me understand.

Protilius: For now, you have only been able to give your light to those you are not in physical contact with, the exception being Paula and those closest - and you've done just fine! Now, in addition to giving your light, you will be required to give bread.

Brendan: In regards to the end of this timeline that occurred on 2/14/2011, wasn't December 21st 2012 supposed to be the end of time? Why is 2/14/2011 so important?

Protilius: That date is correct and still stands but it marks the end of the solar cycle. The date of 2/14/2011 marks the return of the Grail carrying the Royal Divine Bloodline. The preciseness of the date was varying and only came to be because of decisions made by people like you & Paula and many more... This is why no one knew of this date - it wasn't meant to be known until all were ready!

End Journey

Hands down - the most difficult article yet! I never thought that a journey or article would be so sobering. This one - this one was a cold cloth in my face! For this information to be available to me, Protilius and Idavathian had to break me all the way down - no pun intended. But then again, I shouldn't be joking about this. I believe in Paula, Protilius and Idavathian, our friends and my links to God. When they speak, I listen - most of the time. I'm still human but flabbergasted that we're dealing with things written in the bible. It was so much easier talking about the pyramids, Twin Flames and The Eye of Horus.

Protilius has just told us that the human experience that we've had in the flesh has completed a cycle or timeline. This was finalized on 2/14/2011 - which marks the return of The Grail. Not since the beginning of creation/Adam & Eve, has the bone been in the blood of the Grail. Take it for what it's worth, 'cus we're done with it!


One final personal note:

This experience with The Holy Grail and Adam & Eve has tested us to our limits. I do not expect you to know or understand what has gone on within us or around us since being introduced to another truth like this one. This is ancient and powerful! However, this test has taken a great toll on us both and all we want to do is love each other and recover. We're not even close to being ready to answer questions or comments about any of this. For now, all we want to do is get back to some normalcy. We're done with Adam and Eve!

The Grail for me, at the basic level of consciousness, let me know how off I really was. It was a wake up call!

Truth can have a profound affect on the body and mind together! If I never have this experience again, I won't be disappointed.

My love with my Luv is all that matters - not the Grail!!!

When it comes to the tree of knowledge - (figuratively or literally speaking) I will not be planting nor seeking the wisdom of a tree on Arbor day for reasons of gaining... knowledge or enlightenment!


Well... it's been one year since this article was put out. I spent the remainder of 2011 just focusing on my children, myself and getting my body back to health. Nobody will know but me (and Paula of course) how hard that month was... February! First there was separation from Paula... another one! The grief of which nearly killed me. Then, the spirit world decided that it was time to show me the Holy Grail... which I didn't even believe in at the time, let alone.... was ready for. No way! 

There's lots that was said during the initial experience that I still can't wrap my mind around... especially Jesus & Mary being directly connected to Adam & Eve. And had I not known how accurate Protilius and Idavathian were in regards to journeying and all things about my Twin Flame, I probably wouldn't have believed any of it. But I could not overlook this experience.

Then of course there is the moment when Protilius tells me that I am anointed and christed. I had to look both of these words up on the internet to see exactly what it meant, really. Researching further about what anointed and christed meant I found some other names that I would never even position or fathom myself beside.  It was too much for my mind to wrap around it all and I probably never will be able to do so. The only way Brendan sees himself in this world is next to good people all working for the same goal. That goal is ~ love and spirituality!

Then I began researching what I had experienced and reached out to authors who have written about the Grail and got some great help. 

I found this article HERE by Ariadne Green which helped shed some light on things... especially this quote: "Jesus said, "Those who seek should not stop seeking until they find. When they find, they will be disturbed. When they are disturbed, they will marvel, and will reign over all. [And after they have reigned they will rest.]" ~ saying 2, Gospel of Thomas

When I read this quote I had to ask myself, "who is Thomas?" As you can see, I had gone away from the bible for so long and now I was learning about lost Gospels??? I didn't know that any got lost. But the more I read about Thomas, the more this account resonated with me. I was hungry for information and wanted to know more.

As a note I just wanted to add that I get the whole part about "being disturbed" in that Thomas quote. I do! It took me nearly a year to get over it and had to battle back from health issues that began the same month. I also understand why so many who claim to have found the grail are either not permitted to see it or end up dead soon after the experience. I can honestly say that I was at that door in February of 2011. But I lived to tell about it and am grateful!

On the flipside of this painful experience, there came a new way of looking at the world, in the weeks that would follow. With this enlightenment, I realized that it was possible to love everybody with the same love I hold for my Twin Flame. Yes! This was a revelation to me!!! I never thought it was possible but I could feel it in my heart. And... this is where I am at once again... 1 year later. It's taken almost a year to get back to that amazing feeling of love, but I am at last embracing what came out of this Grail experience. I am also learning how to embrace Protilius in a whole new way...

You must understand that when Protilius and I made that final merge or I let the spirit into my body once and for all, Protilius and everything about him changed. No longer did I seek him as an exterior source of information, but an internal source... within me! Right here in the here and now!!! What is more, when I hear his voice, it does not sound the same. The original Protilius is gone, as is the original lower spirit self of Brendan. I now hear a voice that is new and deeper and will take some getting used to. The voice is none other than God's voice. The merge between lower and higher has birthed a whole new spirit so to speak.

The Holy Grail is the spiritual bloodline of our soul family. And in order to achieve this spirituality, we are to accept our Higher Selves or Holy Spirit into our bodies; become One; and then help others to do the same.

The Grail means many things but most importantly, it symbolized the union between Divine Masculine and Divine Feminine.

The Children of the I AM
By Brendan

In the cradle of her sacred womanhood
Growing are the Children of the I AM
Birthing the Father, the Son and the Holy Ghost
Into every waking soul walking the planet
Who must pass through the chalice of her womb –

Through which the labor of this love
Will crown a new age of Queens and Kings
Of Divine Masculine and Feminine energies
Part of one soul family, the Children of the I AM
Will come together and dawn their golden wings –

Where they will assume their place within the pyramid
To symbolize their ancient lineage in Heaven and on Earth
Only... this pyramid will be built from top to bottom
To emblazon the advent of our Holy Trinity
Delivered by our beautiful Mother who is now in birth –

Crowning now, are the Children of The I AM
In the image of our Father and all that is good
And in the likeness of our Mother, with all of her
Beauty and righteousness, who births divinity
From the cradle of her sacred womanhood.


More articles by Protilius/Brendan...

Sophia Part I

Touched by God

Rites of The Heart Part III

Rites of The Heart Part II

Rites of The Heart Part I

Achieving The Light

The Twin Flame Path

Celtic Shamans

The Lion Over The Dragon

The Empyrean Revelation
with emails from Bono of U2

The I Am Dialogues

Parable of One and Zero

Megan of Moher

How Twin Flames Connect

The Divine Order of Creation

Mystery School


Divine Feminine Rising

The Stages of Spirit Self

The Pyramid of Souls

Collapsing Duality with Paula and Contributors

Twin Flames Connecting


Twin Flame Grounding Article
A Vision by Protilius ErmPhorus/Brendan
Received on 2/14/2011 or 11
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Photo: Hermes Trismegistus
Photo: Sir Galahad, achieving the Grail
Knights of The Round Table