Collapsing Duality...Journal


Welcome to our journal :) We've decided that after the revelations over the past two weeks (last week of August and first week of September 2008) that it may be a good idea to keep a journal. Paula and I have entered into territory that we've only seen in movies or read about in fantasy books. In this first post, I will attempt to sum up what we've seen and what where we think it may go from here. I will update this from time to time and during the quiet periods I will attempt to shed better light on our story by going back and trying to piece together things so that they make sense.

1/29/2009 -  Donnie Darko Soundtrack - Mad World
























11/17/2008 - from Paula (cut and pasted from the guest book)

This is my final entry to the site until I reach my new home with Brendan. I'll be taking apart my computer tonight and won't have access until next week. I just wanted to say if you want to be with your twin flame in the real you have to make it happen. Confirmations will lead the way but it's up to the individual to take action. For those of you who believe inner work is within and you must complete that task before pursuing your twin... I must say we all are a work in progress and that work goes on forever more. When we quit doing our inner work is when we've crossed over into our next life. I love you all. Reach for your dreams and you'll succeed at attaining them. God bless. Paula
 

11/16/2008

Well - I think this will be the last journal update I make until Paula and I are running this site together. And, we will be doing so, this time next week - WAHOOO!!! I would say that this has been an amazing journey but I know that it is just beginning. What the future brings, we can only imagine.

Our place is really nice. It's sort of old and has wooden floors and two, large triangular decks. There is this loft that is just so cozy and such a cool place to hang out. The place was built in the late sixties so it sort of has the architecture from that era - almost Brady Bunch like, but with more style. It even has the original furniture from that era. I have also come to realize that it is absolutely haunted. My own daughter got to see her one night as she walked by and disappeared before her eyes. I think she got mad one night because I went into the old master bedroom and it was as if somebody just put out an incense stick. The entire room smelled of incense. The smell was that strong! She has also taken pictures off walls. So, I decided to smudge the place and give it a blessing but that didn't go over so well :) Soon as I did that, she turned on the stove and sent the rocking chair, rocking. I do think there is a reason why we are at this house, not just talking about twin flames, either. There is something for us to find out, here. 

On another note: My ears started ringing about a week ago - which can only mean one thing: somebody is trying to make contact! Actually, two people have tried and were successful at making contact with me and they are aware as I am, of the intentions. Two seperate occasions - a man and a woman have come to me via dream state and even while I was working on the computer. The dream state contact consisted of a person (living today) who was presenting themselves as one thing but as I became aware in the dream, I began to notice who they really were, which left me flabbergasted. Oh, the trickery :-) Luckily, Paula came into the dream and we took off from there. Then I woke up. However, same night, an angel or a woman popped into my dream. I can't be sure who this was but she seemed to know me, although I couldn't say the same of her. Then she was gone - poof!

The other occasion or should I say, occasions, was when I was working on the computer and my left ear went deaf and my right started ringing off the hook. I sensed it was a female vibe and even though I didn't journey to confirm one way or the other, who it was, I could smell the environment from where she was operating from. All I can say, is that it was cooking that I have never smelled before. It smelled like a brothy stew of some sort - I just don't know. However, the smell was so strong, it filled up the entire computer room. I guess somebody was going to have a tasty meal that night :-)

Just for the record - Paula and I don't mind if people want to reach out and contact us through meditations or journeys, as long as we respect each others privacy and keep it clean, too. And, most of the time, it is respectful and clean, but there have been some occasions...(not going into detail...besides, TMI). Maybe an email, just letting me know you're coming would be nice. Paula and I also post our writings on other sites, too. So, people all around the world can find us quite easy if they really want to. In fact, we are supposed to be learning to contact one another and help each other as we re-connect to our higher selves. So let's keep up the good work :)

Well, it's Sunday and I am going back to do some house cleaning. I want to add: I have started a new article but it looks like it's going to be a 5 or 6 part article that will talk specifically about, "Journeying." I maybe posting the first part as soon as this evening, if I have time. Just have some editing to do.

Love, Light and thanks to all who visit. 
Brendan and Paula


11/8/2008

It's Saturday the 8th and I am finally moved in. Paula will be here in two weeks. I guess we "Made Something Happen," lately. That last line about making something happen is a long story but by putting it down in here - it got to where it needs to go.

Yesterday, the 7th, we celebrated the life of my sister who passed one year ago. She was only 45. She and I had a bond not unlike the one, Paula and I share. We were from the same soul family, no doubt! 

And...Paula really wrote an article that I think so highly of. I'm so proud of her. She has pushed it to a new plateau - I do believe.  It really hit home with me. We hope you enjoy it!

10/29/2008 - Holy Cow -- Put those numbers together :-)

Just wanted to leave a quick note. In Paula's latest article Twin Flames - Birthing Into Oneness, she mentioned our Spirit Mother or more recently - Tri Flame. Anyhow, she dropped by to pay me a visit last night. She hummed this sing sungy song to me - the same one she hummed to Paula and I in our very first meeting which I wrote about on 9/10/2008 - in the journal. It's amazing because I've never heard a voice like this. It is pure music and it plays over and over in my mind all day. It is comforting, too :)

10/26/08

Paula and I are very happy to announce that we have secured a home together. I put the down payment on it today with check 434 - add that one up!? So many elevens. I got the call to meet with the land lady, this morning. Told her I'd be on my way, put the phone down and looked at the microwave clock which read 11 11. 11 11 is going off in our heads like, Big Ben, for crying out loud. However, we appreciate the signs that the universe shows us and would never take it for granted. While the first date of occupancy is 11/1/2008, Paula will be arriving on 11/22/2008 with help from me. I get to help with the moving truck. So, everything is working out with very little planning. I think living is much easier and less predictful when you're living for the moment - in the here and now. Time itself creates nothing but preoccupation for what's to come in an overly predictful world.

THings have been quite peaceful as of late. Paula had one visit from our overseas buddy who likes to practice with negative energy but she quickly led him out of her house and told him what to expect if he brings more harm. He just smirked at her.

I've added some videos and songs to certain pages of the site. We hope you enjoy them. We would love to add songs to the personal stories but with the cost of bandwidth to operate this site, I wouldn't want to start doing it and then have to discontinue as we want this site to reamain free and for informational purposes.

I am going to try and squeek out one more article before now and the first of November. I've been planning on writing this article for a bit and it will deal with the path of journeying and how one gets there from the old ways of living. After the first of November, it's going to be busy but as soon as Paula and I get our computers back up and running  - we'll be running this site - side by side :)

With love - from Brendan and Paula



10/16/08

This past weekend, from Friday the 10th to Monday the 13th, Paula flew in from Ohio and I picked her up. We spent another great long weekend with one another. After I picked her up, because it was still early, I decided to take her to a restaurant right along the ocean. We sat on the patio, drank Bud Lime beer, ate shrimp cocktail, and got lost in each others gazes. It was great!

While she visited she helped me add the latest story to the web site, submitted by Nancy and Mark. She got the hang of it real quick 'cus she's so smart and a super quick learner.

However, the biggest and best things we did together was to start looking for places to live. That's right :) This past week so many big things broke through for us and we even went and looked at a few homes. For now, we will rent and we're looking along the ocean. This one place we think we may have, is a 10 minute walk to the ocean which will be great in summer - and it's a year round rental. We may be fronting the money for this tomorrow. WOW!!! Can you imagine? We're really making this happen and are so psyched about it. Plus, it's got this really unique loft. I think it would make a great art studio or place to write poetry and think about all kinds of things. This loft is the kind of place where you can let your imagination run wild - Wahoooo!!!!

Another thing we noticed as I showed Paula my paintings throughout the years that I did, was that we both drew the same two characters. A long time ago, I created an alphabet of symbols based on a vision I had when I was 17. Well, I created these two characters who where unisex and they represented the word "Twin." Each character had one arm as a regular human arm and the other, as a wing and they are holding hands. So anyway, Paula drew this "picture word," practically the same way I did. I will have to post our character so that you can compare for yourselves.

Another thing I noticed was, one night we were laying in bed and Paula was on top of me. It was completely dark and we stayed just like that for hours looking into each others eyes. After awhile of looking into her eyes, I began to see her differently. I saw her as a spirit. Her eyes were light blue in color as well as her skin. I can't remember when the shift in perception took place, but I remember her now - even as a spirit. It's those eyes - the same ones I've seen in my dreams for years - those are the eyes. It is really her, Paula :-)

I decided to add them :)











The picture on the left is one I did around 1990 and the one on the right is done by Paula, just a few months ago. Funny thing about it is, she sent her pic of this Twin Symbol a few months back and I didn't make the connection. However, while I showed her my alphabet of picture words I created in the early 90's she immediately picked out the the two characters on the left which represent the picture word "TWIN" and it brought tears to her eyes. It's pretty amazing because even the use of color is similar. Only bad part about it is - I couldn't get the dumb digital camera to focus a little better :-) Oh well!

Another cool thing that has happened twice in two weeks now is that I've seen the number 11:11 on my car clock. I work on the road surveying businesses for the telecom industry now and so my car or should I say my gas guzzling truck is my office when I'm not home doing spreadsheets for the job I have. Anyway, I'll be sitting in my truck on some city street writing down all the pertinent info and I look up and lo and behold the number 11:11 on the digi clock.



9/27/08

In my post on 9/25 I wrote that I was planning on posting a story about an attack - a psi attack on both Paula and I. I am going to do that in this entry - in short, but I think it would work better as an article which I will begin writing this week. In this article I will include some important blocking techniques that I have learned from lots of talented people that helped us out through this ordeal.

So here's what's been going on: About 3 1/2 months ago, I started having these dreams of black clouds on the horizon. Each time I would have the dream the clouds were closer and closer until they were on top of my house. Then, about 2 months ago those dreams of dark clouds spawned multiple tornadoes - always a little closer - with each passing dream. Then, finally, about 3 to 4 weeks ago, I dreamed a massive tornado was baring down on my house. I noticed people outside as the tornado passed within 50 to 100' of my house. I told them that they had better take shelter or they could get hurt. They turned to me and looked at me like I was the crazy one and said, "No, you're the one that's going to have to take shelter." Then I woke up.

The next night both Paula and I dreamed of this man, and we confirmed that we saw the same man because we compared notes. In our dreams he laughed at us and had this look like he hated us. He had long curly black hair that came down past his shoulders, a gotee, a long thin nose that hooked, thin face, a long black trench coat, and his eyes were all black.

Talking about it the next day, we wondered who he was and what he wanted. The only thing that we could agree upon was his location - and that would put him somewhere between Italy and Turkey. Reason I knew this was becaue I meditated on the vibe and in the journey, I came down very close to Greece.

Over the next few nights I would awaken to find myself posessed. I couldn't move because another soul was laying inside my body. It was a really really bad feeling, let me tell you. When I would finally break free of the spirit I could still feel the presence in my room. This would happen several nights in a row, even with the shield that I always used in the past to block negative energy/entities.

When I told Paula of all this, she said she dreamed that it was the man we first saw with the gotee and that he was trying to show her that I was evil and that I was into slashing myself and shooting up with heroin.

We agreed that he was trying to obviously manipulate her mind against me and altogether, destroy me. We couldn't believe that a living man was using this negative power against us, to destroy us. Paula and I had always used this power to make love with each other from a distance because we are not living with each other, yet, but here was a man (a living man) using this same power to provoke war. So, I decided to meditate on the negative presence that I had been feeling and not the face of the man we had both seen. I did it this way because I wanted to be sure that this was the culprit of these attacks because you never know, there may be multiple parties at work.

Anyway, I went into meditation, concentrating on that vibe of negative energy I had felt for months and I found the same man with the gotee. It was indeed him! At first when I looked at him across all time and space, he sat indian style on his bed with nothing but shorts on and his eyes were closed. He was meditating. Then, he opened them wide and leaned forward and we looked directly at each other. I told him that he had made a big mistake doing what he was doing to me and Paula and I punched him. Only...it's not like a real punch because we're talking about the spirit and it is the intent or energy put behind it that strikes him. When I connected, his soul split from his body and he just sort of hung there in space in a sort of daze. So I began to fly circles around him and dragged him for a bit - further away from his physical body. Finally, I stopped and just looked at him because his spirit body was just completely still - or drifting slightly in space. At this point,  I stopped and returned, hoping that he had had enough.

I told Paula what had gone on the night before and we both hoped that that was the end of it all, but we were wrong. The next night, I dreamed he was trying to posess my daughters.

Then, about a day or two later, my daughter came up to me, not knowing any of what was going on and said, "Daddy, I think there's something wrong with me." And she told me she felt posessed. She appeared okay, but I was worried, nonetheless.Even so, I was amazed because she is only 9 and I didn't even know she knew what posession meant. I never taught her that word. I didn't even believe it was possible other than in the movies.

Paula also reported that he was trying to manipulate her mind to hate her own kids in various ugly fashions.

Other times, he would enter my dreamstate, when my guard was down and he would take me on a car ride at high speed and drive us into walls, telephone poles, and sign posts - over and over again. I would wake up sweating.

Once again, I was growing tired and weary. Running on empty, I meditated on him and this time, I found him right above my house - only, he had found his wings and dawned a flaming skull for an appearance. I couldn't believe how deranged he was. He flew directly at me and put his hands around my neck to choke me; skull flaming and all and I managed to punch him again and his skull just shattered and I was now looking at a headless spirit, which was crazy enough. However, it ended the battle for the night.

Next day, Paula decided she wanted to try and find him because of how she was getting into her head and her own childrens dreams. I told her exactly how I do it and to be careful. She called me later that night and said she found him laying flat on his back in his bed and that he had purple satin sheets and lit candles on either side of the bed. Already mad enough from this whole ordeal and then add her kids to the dilemna she wound up and kicked him in the groin. She said that as soon as she did that he jumped up on the bed and started looking around the room but she was gone. She had ended the meditation session, on him.

I again meditated on him and decided to test the continuity of the connection by throwing a frisbee at him. I sensed he had shielded himself. Anyway, as soon as I imagined the act, the frisbee came right back and hit me between the eyes as pure energy. This told me that he had his shields up for the first time. My hunch was right. I was happy to see this. Was he finally getting the point? We hoped :) Besides, neither Paula or I were looking for a battle to the finish.

However, later that night, I woke up to find I was being strangled, again. I broke free and the room was filled with his negative presence. Deciding that battling with this man was getting us nowhere, I called Paula and we agreed to seek advice from a very helpful shaman we met on the internet - thank you Gary, two more friends from another site - thank you Jessica and Lin, and our own living spirit guide - Sharon who has helped us tremendously with a variety of Twin Flame/Psi stuff.

We learned from the Shaman that this man found us not by way of the internet or any other fashion (like we first suspected) but because he knew either one or both of us in a past life and wants to settle some unfinished business. He said that it was "personal."

We learned from Jessica that we need to really create a shield, send unconditional love back - regardless of what this mans intentions are, and to laugh often :) Oh, and never let somebody into your temple without permission.

...and that one still gets us both because we never gave him permission, that we are aware of.

Lin taught us how to envision a white light over your head - the light of the universe and have it cleanse your entire spirit - wiping away all negative energies. I could go on because there are more, but we practiced them all, and then some.

We even called on our spirit mother, spirit guides and all other helpful angels we see in our dreams - we called in everyone!

We immediately began to notice results. There were no more times where I would awaken to find myself paralyzed by another soul that had taken over mine, no more battles, no more choke holds. The only thing that he still seemed to be able to do was to occcasionally sneak into a dream or two.

So, this past weekend when Paula and I got together, we bought smudge sticks and when we both got home we smudged our houses from top to bottom - doors to windows.

Since then, everything has been smooth sailing.

The only other thing to report is that: it would seem we have both scored a major victory in that we didn't rely upon force to figure out or solve a situation - which it never does anyway, because it only comes back at a later date until you get it right. We understand the laws of karma. Having won this victory in a peaceful manner, we both began to dream about all those things in the past that were holding us back. Neither of us got much sleep because it was like this whole ordeal that we had peacefully won, had also been a door way to new opportunities because our souls literally went right into a purging process that brought up all of our own darkest moments in recent past.

Over the next few days we would tell each other about these memories that came up in our dreams that date all the way back to infancy - memories that had traumatized us - memories that were now being cleared in quick fashion.

In the end, we both had a very important learning experience. That is how we view this ordeal. In the end, we were able to turn a negative into a positive with help from from friends.

Thanks so so much
Paula and Brendan



9/27/08

I think that this journal will come in handy for me as a way to log in dreams/visions as they seem to be coming more regularly and with greater clarity than ever before.

Last night I went to bed early because my energy was kicked and I just couldn't seem to re-load. The past few days have been tough as I am going back through my life and trying to dig up any of those things from my past that may be holding me back.

So as I lay in bed last night and began meditation, my first thoughts were'nt very positive one. I said to the universe, "you know what, I give up." Well, as soon as I said that - not even a second went by and there appeared these two angels. They looked identical in appearance and what they were wearing. Looking to be no more than twelve in age, I could tell that beneathe the headresses they wore, they had no hair, very pale skin, and their eyes - their eyes, when I looked into them it was like looking into the universe. They were like crystal balls - ever changing. Eyes like I've never seen before and I've seen some eyes, too.

They said to me, in unison, "we can take you home if you would like."

Caught off guard by this, I immediately had to back step because I didn't expect that my wishes would be taken so literally and as a matter of factly.

I thought about what they said as they stood before me and replied, "Well, can you show me what home looks like first, so that I can make a decision?"

They turned to each other in unison, talking telepathically, they discussed between each other if they could do that. They decided that they would show me and in the blink of an eye I was in this city, I guess, I couldn't make out the details but their were tower geometric structures all around me. Then, as I made my way around this circular building and went inside, I noticed a very large staircase and the steps were rounded like in half circles that fanned out widely at the bottom. Half way up those stairs I noticed an angel in all white. Her hair, face and garb - all white. Then, an instant later I was back home and staring at the two angels before me.

I said to them, "I'm not ready."

9/25/08

This whole Twin Flame path, never ceases to amaze me. Every time we turn around, there's more for the universe to show us; not all of which are so pleasant. What I am saying is: Paula and I had one hell of a week following our reunion with our mother spirit. We barely had time to digest everything we learned in our meeting with her, when this man who we had both been seeing in our dreams, attacked with everything he had.

I am not ready to go into detail on this major event, yet, but the attack appears to be over. Did I say attack? Yes, I did. I'll explain in complete detail when I have given the air enough time to clear. I just want to be certain that it is indeed over which I do sense and unlike other battles which are fought, I believe we were able to bring this one to peaceful end - I HOPE.

If things stay quiet and calm, I believe I'll be ready to write about it over the weekend.

So, so much was learned from this ordeal.

9/13/08

Hello everybody :) Finally, at last, things seem to quieting down again. WOW! What a stretch. The past two weeks have easily been some of the most important ones in my life and for Paula's.

Not since I was seventeen, the last time I was called to heaven, have I felt so peaceful. I had actually forgotten that feeling since it has been so long ago, now. But, man, do I feel great! I feel born again in a way. Everything looks so crystal clear again. It's as if I'm seeing through a new pair of eyes. Yet, it's still me :)

I don't know where it goes from here, I honestly haven't read anything about this particular stage or experience in a Twin Flame relationship, but all Paula and I know is that we will be married by 11/11/2009. That is what we have been told and after everything we've seen and experienced - together - I am not about to question any of it.

I keep wondering what it meant when we were told about being married. In our hearts and souls, we know we already are. Yet, there's something else that awaits - something we haven't seen yet.

Another thing I should mention that Paula reminded me of, was that when our Spirit Mother created circles of light - they were literally circles and we each had one around us. Then, on the second night, Spirit Mother merged the two circles that we had around us and made them one, while we stood together in the middle.

Whatever happens will happen and I am resting on this idea. Being given the option to go home has really put things into perspective. It has helped me to realign my priorities which are: Paula, children, family, friends, and relatives. 

I don't know if that option will present itself to me again or if indeed I will have another option at all. All I know is, while we are still here, Paula and I will keep re-creating the love we have for each other and live like we're going to live to be 100 years old.

Brendan



First Entry - 9/10/2008

Over the past two months Paula and I have realized and come to an understanding that, we are not calling the shots anymore. Anything that happens will not happen on the clock, the calendar, or even when we like it to. Realizing this and being at peace with the fact that we are now being guided, instead of ego driven, brought us to a very peaceful stretch, in comparison those beginning days of rapid balance between the two of us. I tend to view these stretches of time as a plateau in our development. In other words, you take a step up and then you look around and admire the view. 

Being guided, as we are now, the universe has decided that we've admired the view long enough and instead of us loitering, it has decided to reveal the next stage of our development to us. Note: When I say next stage of our development, I mean that it is only what we've experienced on our unique paths. Does this mean everyone will travel this route? We don't know. What we do know, is that if you and your twin want nothing more than to be with each other and yet, you still seem helplessly stuck - then break the mold! If you live far away: different states, continents, etc...., break the mold because the universe has shown Paula and I that when we do this, we are rewarded. It's as if the world opens up to us again. Time and time again, we are rewarded for "making things happen," or going that extra mile to do whatever you have to do, just to be with each other, if even only for a day. The universe likes this very much.

Anyway, back to the next stage of development. In late September, Paula and I, over a 4 day period, have gotten to know our Spirit Mother. Four nights in a row we were called to meet with her. Amazing thing about it, she  looks just like us, too. During the first night, we had our own seperate rooms down the hall from one another. My room was blue and Paula's room was purple/violet. All we know on that night, our spirit mother was working her magic. Paula remembers this much more clearly than I do. I just remember her beautiful eyes. According to Paula, she would fly back and forth from room to room and circle in mid air, very fast, so fast that it would create this beautiful white light. Over and over again she did this.

The same thing would go on, on the second night. The only difference is, I would begin having these intense dreams of the number eleven. I would dream I would find the number eleven everywhere I looked. 

On the third night, she brought us into a room that looked like a living room of sorts (similar to what we have here on earth.) We both sat next to each other in chairs and our Mother Spirit stood before us. We sat in amazement and watched her bright blue eyes smile back at us. She had many freckles, too. Not as much as me but more than Paula. Nevertheless, all three of us looked just alike. Most of the conversation centered around Paula as she was given much guidance and instruction. The only reassurance I would receive was when she came over to me, rubbed her hand on my shoulder and said, "....and you, the only thing  you need to know and remember, is the number 11." Well, I guess that explains the dreams of the number 11 the night before.

The last night, we would see her in the same place, together, and it was just like a homecoming. She stood in the middle and Paula and I stood side by side her, with our heads on her shoulder and she sang us song that I had long since forgotten. However, I remember it now. My own mother, here on earth, used to sing me a very similar song - almost identical. Paula, helped to recreate it for me as I still have trouble hearing (in the spirit world.) Anyway, as she sang this song, she held us both in her arms and we all sort of swayed to the sound of her voice. The vibe of love that was between us was unlike anything in the world. No words can describe it. I certainly won't try.

We still see her, Mother Spirit, she shows her face nightly, and has even talked to Paula, just yesterday. Paula was at the bank and she heard her unmistakable voice, say, "Don't give up yet. You are 10 minutes away from the miracle." Paula and I both wondered what that meant. We think we may have an idea.

Many other revelations have come to us, too. We have begun to get to know and meet with, on occasion, other spirit guides. These guides are not aliens in any sense of the term. They look just like us on Earth, but their home is in heaven. They wear clothes, they've created what they envision or project as the home of their dreams. However, they have a very important job to do and that is to guide us, Twin Flames, Soul Mates, Spiritual People on Spiritual Paths, Witches, Shamans, everyone!!!

The few spirit guides we have met, seem to represent other races that exists on our planet today and they are very interested in seeing us succeed. Both Paula and I have been called before two seperate guides, in the past week. So, as you can see, and I'm not even done yet, telling you, we've reached one heck of a mile stone. Where this goes from, is anybody's guess. But I will share with you, something at the end of this journal entry, they may help you better understand.

Aside from meeting Spirit Mother and two other Spirit Guides who are literally helping us along, Paula and I are now journeying freely. Two weeks ago we could meditate and still have great success, but now, when we journey, we can go anywhere and even verify the accuracy that that somebody saw or felt or even heard us.

An instance of this would be when, our living spirit guide (really Paula's friend) who is an extremely talented psychic - gifted in all areas. Anyway, after Paula visited her and came back helping us better understand the visions of mother spirit and our guides, I decided, without telling Paula, to make a journey to visit her, 'cus I've never actually seen her. So, I closed my eyes and since I had no picture to start with I just meditated on the vibe that I received from her. In a jiffy I flew right across the states, down into her living room and could see her plain as day. However, still lacking some spiritual manners, I didn't think to realize that I invaded her space and she knew it. A moment later, she politely escorted me back through the roof which I came through.

I told Paula this story and told her not to reveal anything to her psychic unless she brought it up first, which she did. She asked Paula, if she did anything the other night because she heard a boom and then her meditation tapes went flying across the room. She told Paula, that she said, "get the hell out of my house." Paula then told her what I asked her to tell her if she suspected anything. I told Paula to tell her that I apologize and will quickly gain some manners as I am still fine tuning my own abilities.

She also told Paula that for now, Brendan is teacher and you are student. Then she added, in the future, when your power is fully realized, you will become teacher and Brendan will become student.

Many other things were revealed through her about us but those are stories for someone else to tell and they have already been told to only the people who need to know.

Lastly, (and this is big - even scary) there was a period of 3 nights, where I was given the option, TO GO HOME. When I say, option, I mean that if I let go, I wouldn't be here writing these words today. Trust me, even writing these words, makes my heart crumble and brings tears to my eyes. It's not that I don't want to go home, it's just that I don't want to stop re-creating the love that I hold for Paula, here on this earth.

Three nights in row, heaven opened itself up to me and gave me the option, to go home. Each time it would happen, I would see a tiny white light with all these sparkles emanating outwards towards me. Then, I would feel this pull - this attraction and feel myself (literally sucked out) going into the light. As soon as this would happen, I would fight it and say, "NO!" Waking up immediately, I was scared and wondered what this meant.

Paula has felt the same, only she has the other half of the puzzle, which we've grown accustomed to. Neither of us have ever admitted until recently but we feel on an intuitive level that, we may not have much time. Trust us, we don't like this feeling - at all. Yet, it is there and impossible to ignore it. This feeling of "little time," has brought us to break the mold and on short notice, just get in our cars and go drive to meet with one another, for another day of bliss. Paula has said that these decisions (such as getting in her car and driving 16 hours once, to go see me) has kept her from going home. I'm so glad she did.


A note to Mother Spirit,

So, is this it??? Is this how the Twin Flame thing works? Have I done my job? I would like to say, that I have many people who need me right now including two children. Yes, we have walked through every door the universe has presented to us and done so without fear. You have broken us all the way down and we still have our hearts, but I should mention, that neither one of us will go home without the other. We will not go home until we are ONE!

Now, I ask you this, Spirit Mother, is this what you meant when you said to Paula, "Don't give up yet. You are 10 minutes away from the miracle?" If so, please let us know? We really need to know. Can you clarify this for us? And when you talk to us, please lower your vibration or adjust accordingly so that I may hear your every word - as you know, this is a shortcoming of mine.

Love and light to everyone who visits and if what Paula and I share, can shed a light while on your own journey, then happy trails :)

Love Paula and Brendan




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