Collapsing Duality...Journal

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Man I wish this was my day job because I love what I do especially when I get to share information about something as important as finding/confirming another member of our soul family.

We can add 2 more names to the pyramid - one of which is a visitor to this web site and has been asking us and asking us and asking us to find her higher self for her.

I want to welcome Melody to our soul family 

There are many pyramids/soul families, but I think Melody, you will find this one to be your favorite :)

Now, a little bit about Melody. Melody lives in Brazil and she is our most frequent visitor from South America. Not only that, she is also our most frequent writer of emails to Paula and I - neck and neck with Kristin from New Zealand.

Some months ago, Melody wrote to Paula and I to journey to her. Both of us did and we found her on 3 different occasion. We emailed her and told her so.

Paula and I were amazed at how easily we found her which is indicative of being connected at the soul level. Paula even mentioned after those intitial experiences that Idagordava must be her soul Mother because they seemed to be alike in a fashion.

Some time later, she emailed us to find her higher self for her - if it was at all possible.

Many times I journeyed and was not able to obtain the information from Protilius and Idavathian. However, yesterday, They gave me everything she needed to know. It was a journey that took about 20 minutes to a half an hour and when I came out of it, I was PUMPED!

Melody's higher self name is Invarilian - part of the 905th generation or row within this soul pyramid with an estimated 4 million incarnate. I say estimated because people are being born into this pyramid every day and leaving this 3d esistence to return home.

Her soul mother is Idagordava and her soul father is Protolaneus.

Protolaneus is the second name we get to add to the pyramid. We have not met Protolaneus either here on this site or on the Plains, but I was told by both Protilius and Idavathian that this was her father. We do not know what generation he is from.

Now, about not having Protharus as a soul father when Idagordava is his divine compliment. I have not explained this yet, but after Protilius and Idavathian created the first 8 which is in fact the first generation of souls in this pyramid, awhile later, the Ten of them created the next generation and then they all got together and created the next one and so on and so forth... Now, just as Protharus and Idagordava are Twin Souls within this pyramid, each of them with others have shared in the creation of many other souls and done so with many other partners or higher selves. The same goes for Protilius and Idavathian. I just wanted to explain how things work, so we may all understand.


Let the journey begin



Every now and then we receive an email or guest book comments sending praise to Collapsing Duality. I haven't shared any of them before but I am going to maybe start doing that now. The following is from an email I received today from a new visitor. It reads -

"Gotta hand it to you :).... - the best arranged site on this topic! What makes it authentic is the fact that it is there for sharing - not marketing a product like a book or something :). Twin flames is all about personal stories, co-incidence, synchronicity and experience and twin flames are to be found everywhere.
I tried to find your submission form for my own there a link to it somewhere?
Either way!! your site will evolve into a 'mega-monster' :) LOL - I can smell one when i see it :). 

I replied, "To submit your story, you go to the profiles page which is at -

Yes, Twin Flames are everything you described. More importantly, it is about the path or the search. This is where some sites get it all wrong. Most sites won't let you post your story unless you are "locked in" with the twin or. Not here - we feel that it is the path that is most important."

I have also added some new links to the main page of this site. Check 'em out for yourself. The link to Castaneda is one of my favs, Castaneda was probably my biggest influence in learning to journey. As soon as I read, for the first time, Active Side of Infinity, I just knew that I was on the right path. There's a lot to read from him in this link and it starts with, "The Active Side of Infinity."



We have a new story that I posted just yesterday. Thank you Ann and Hunter for sharing such a wonderful story. I wanted to point a particular part of your story that I enjoyed and I quote, 

"I have to point out that I am skepitic of sorts. I do not belive in organized religion and I am not a "follower." I question everything. It's only these intense emotion, and deep deelings that are brining me to look for outside answers because i just cannot deny them or explain them rationally."

I like that part very much because I can identify with it myself and you capture the true nature of spirituality with what you have written, which is to strike off on your own - question everything - look for outside answers - and basically, blaze your own trail. 

Seeking true spirituality in a time when we have very few people to talk to about such amazing experiences, can be hard. After all, who do you tell? Certainly you can share the beautiful experience here, but who do you know personally, that you can honestly tell? I know that I can tell Paula, I know that I can tell my children of the pyramid. Beyond that, who do you tell.

I have tried to tell my own Mom (my incarnate mom) who is probably the biggest advocate of not following organized religion and she tries to understand. My brothers and sisters - forget it! However, maybe in time I will tell them. The time is not yet, though. 

The only person, other than Paula, that I could explain this to, is gone. She passed 2 years ago. That person is my sister - Spirit Mother. She is really a guardian angel and works along side the people of the pyramids.

On another note - I added a video to this page from a great movie that I enjoy and can identify with. It is a clip from The Lords of Dogtown. If you haven't seen it, enjoy skateboarding and/or surfing, then this one is for you. If you do not enjoy either, then just be prepared to watch a good movie :)

The thing that resonated for me, the most, about Lords of Dogtown was the whole skateboarding thing. In the late 70's, being a kid, those skateboarders were my idols. I dressed like them and everything. I sucked at skateboarding though, hehehe :) Anyway, I think this movie was brilliantly done and captured PERFECTLY what it was like to be a kid back then in the late 70's, living in the USA.

The link for the movie is HERE

One more thing :) On the 21st of September Paula and I have tickets to go see U2 - WAHOOOO! As if you didn't already know by all the U2 videos we post, we are big fans. I have only seen them once before and I saw them at Sullivan Stadium (now Gillette stadium) in Foxboro, MA. It was the Pop Mart Tour. Get a load of this: At the beginning of the concert, there was this like, giant lemon and everybody was wondering what the hell it was for. Then, when the concert started, the lemon began to open up and standing inside were the 4 members of U2. That blew everybody's minds. It was awesome! I can only imagine what is in store for this concert.



This will be a one liner: Thank you to everybody that has shared their TF experiences on this site and to those who email with questions or take part in chat - YOU GUYS/GALZ MAKE THIS SITE - because you want to be heard and to tell your story - and you can do that here - and not be judged - this path is only for you - and yet, you can share it with the world.



Today we got news that Paula has to leave for Ohio for a family emergency. It's very hard news for her and so she is off to Ohio for 5 days and will be back next week sometime.

For the past two days, I've been feeling something was coming and now I know. It is the fact that Paula and I will be separated for a short period of time. I realize that her being gone 5 days is not that long. We've spent 36 and 40 years looking for one another. However, it doesn't get any easier. 

My energy has been zapped for the past 2 days and so hasn't Paula's. Now we know why.

There is so much coming down the pike and so so fast too. Our higher selves know something big is coming but they can't tell us just yet. Is it 11/11? Is 2012? Who knows.

Today, the countdown clock reads 69 days. As far as download speeds go, I'll be glad to get that thing off this site because java slows everything down. It turns your web site into a dial up traffic jam. If you are using dial up, I apologize. I am dedicated to leaving it up there though. It will stay until 11/11/2009. 



I was going to write something yesterday, but on Saturday I got stuck in that tropical storm that came up the coast and gave Cape Cod - 5" of rain in about 8 hours. So, I spent Sunday with bone chills and wrapped myself up in blankets and Idavathian.

I think I ate and drank fluids all day yesterday. In between eating and drinking lots of fluids, we got caught up on some emailing and so forth. Some of those emails were very grueling but rewarding to say the least. I think if I had not been sick it would have been much easier.

Guess what? I am learning to trust journeying again :) YESSSS!!!!!

It's coming back to me again!!! Wahoo! I journeyed to Protilius on 2 occasions yesterday. Paula journeyed as well.

The kicker of the journeys didn't come until last night at about 12 midnight when Paula started a journey and then I joined her. She found "the ten" all laying in circle formation and coming out of each of their bodies was this glowing orange mist that would go into that spire that we talked about in The I Am Dialogues. The spire looks just like the Washington Monument, only it is alive with consciousness.

Anyway, we were told what they were doing and it is very important - VERY IMPORTANT! Big things soon come. I apologize for being vague but if you have seen and experienced what Paula and I have over the past month and a half, you would understand.

We were also told about that dream that Paula had about seeing those pyramids with building that resembled that of the Acropolis in Athens, Greece. We know exactly why those beings were incased in glass and the directions that were given to Paula were not from her higher self at all. In fact, they were from another race of beings, with their own pyramid of souls, who are intent on keeping us divided.

I feel the energy of this other pyramid of souls. I feel it with me, watching me, every hour, every day. It never stops. It is looking for in roads to pry us all apart and they are heavily focused on us right now. They are trying to work their way back into my life and Paula's and many others that we know. They work mostly in one's dreamstate because this is when we have our guard down. This is also why, we don't sleep very well. I am forced to sleep lightly or "with one eye open."

We are learning that our higher selves have a great sense of humor. I will give you an example: Last night, after I joined the journey with Paula, I asked how many humans are there that are incarnate from our pyramid. Idavathian spoke through Paula and said, "Well, in your numbers that would equal 4 million." I said, "wow, can 4 million people actually fit into one of those pyramids in Egypt?" Suddenly, The Ten, all laying down on beds in meditation errupted in laughter. Paula and I looked at each other and started laughing as well. We think it's great that we can make them laugh. Hell, they make us laugh :)

Have you noticed that every time I ask a question regarding how many souls are incarnate in this pyramid, the number grows? That is because they do not want to overwhelm us with the job at hand. They feed us information little by little and let our minds adjust to it.

On another note: We're getting ready to make that transition to Ohio. Paula will be leaving here towards the end of September/early October. I will be out there by early November.

Every now and then, I scan the days and months ahead. It's something I do to get a feel for what's in store for us. I envision a calendar (in my mind) and I quickly go over each day of the month. While doing so, I make myself ready for anything out of the ordinary - like burst of energy or walls or waves of light. There are many that I see in September. I do not go deeply into each one, I just know that something big will happen on that date. Whether it pertains to me, you or everyone, I don't know. I can say that the next one will occur on or about the 15th of September. I picked up a big blip on my radar while scanning this date. What is it? Only time will tell. Perhaps I will focus on this date in my meditations tonight.



Please enjoy the latest Twin Flame Story Submission from Kandice and Matt. It's a wonderful read and goes to show you that there is no cookie cutter way about any of these relationships. You can be young or old, black and/or white, Catholic or Protestant, Democrat or Republican - it doesn't matter! When you meet that ONE, nothing can stand between you.

Thank you Kandice for your beautiful and inspirational story :)

On another note - just before I left for work this morning, I layed with Paula in bed and she awoke to tell me she had the most interesting dream. 

The dream she told me about rung a bell with me. She said that she dreamed she saw these mountains with pyramids scattered here and there. Amongst these pyramids, there were (encased in some sort of containers)  were the higher selves of thousands of others.

In addition to the Pyramids, there were buildings that looked very similar to that of the Acropolis in Athens, Greece.

She learned the names of many higher selves, but can only remember the name of one, and that name is - "DELETED". Note: this name had to be deleted because we were instructed to do so.

Even as I write this, I am having deje vu. I don't where or why or when or how, but I know what she's talking about. I've been going over and over this dream in my head all day.

Paula was given some very specific directions on what to do next and we'll be talking about them in the future - perhaps in the I Am Dialogues.

OH yeah, one more thing - I apologize to those of you who were frequenting the new and experimental chat room that we had just put up. The reasons we took it down (only temporarily) have nothing to do with our visitors. We know that now. The chat will be back up again very shortly.

I would like to tell you all why we took it down, but once again, I can only apologize for being vague. 

Those of you who have been following the site for quite some time, will be able to read between the lines. I.E. - there's a lot going on. 

As for those of you who are new to Collapsing Duality, the chat will be back up very shortly. Don't be shy to stop by and chat or even leave a message.



I heard this classic tune on the radio today on the way home from work. The song was, She Sells Sanctuary, by The Cult. 

Anyway, as I've got the stereo cranked WAY UP and jamming to this tune, I remembered the time, just a few years back when one of my buddies said he had tickets to go see the Doors in Boston. I thought he was kidding at the time, because who could possibly fill Jim Morrison's shoes??? Nobody! Right? Well, that's what I thought until he told me that Ian Astbury of The Cult would be on Vocals. Ian looks a lot like Jim and I think you would agree. Hearing this, I agreed immediately.

So, about a month or so later, we're at the Orpheum in Boston and it was probably one of the most memorable experiences I've ever had at any concert. Watching Ian Astbury fill in for Jim Morrison was almost hauntingly uncanny. Not to mention, there was this couple standing right behind us smoking this W??? that had to have been bailed from a pasture somewhere. Everytime they hit it, we would turn around and look at them and ask, "what the hell are you smoking, dude? You ain't right!" LOL! Anyhow, this concert was fun. I especially enjoyed the cheesy psychadelic backdrop that they provided. The whole place was lit up like a lava lamp.

I have had many concerts(some good and some not sooo gooood :)

The first concert I ever saw was Ratt. However, the second concert was the bomb. I saw The Who reunion tour back in the late 80's. We drove one hour to the stadium (me and my friends) and got smashed on the way up there. I went into the stadium with my friends and ended up losing them before we ever reached our seats. There was just too many cool people to hang out with, if ya know what I mean. I was not even born when Woodstock happened, but this is the only event I've ever seen/seen since, that could have come close to Woodstock. At my young age, it was like a religious experience.

Anyway, I remember hanging out with all these crazy people who were partying it up, dancing and drinking like there was no tomorrow and I had to be involved in it all. And I did - living to tell about it now :) Only problem was: when I went to find my friends that I drove up there with (2 hours later), they were not where they were supposed to be because they were looking for me. LOL! So, after the concert, I walked for miles to the highway, all the while thumbing for a ride and finally, a group of hippies picked me up and decided to do a good deed for me - and that was to drive me all the way home - which would add another 2 hours to their trip because they were from out of state. We talked mostly about music and all the things going on back then in the late 80's. I couldn't thank them enough and so I am doing that now. 

Anyway, I've gotten off track a bit, but that may not be a bad thing as we work out these issues going on with journeying, which by the way we are making some progress. It is slow progress but we're gonna be finding some stuff out very shortly.

So, here is Ian Astbury (of the Cult) with the original members of the Doors - standing in for Morrison.



On the 8/24 journal entry I mentioned that our more recent journeys to Protharus and Idagordava had been hacked and manipulated. I also mentioned that Protilius and Idavathian had made certain that this would never happen again and that we wouldn't have any more problems with those doing the hacking. Well, Paula may have actually found the real Protharus and if what he tells us is true, everything after about the first week of July is false - as far as journeying experiences go. We're working on pin pointing the date/experience and we're getting close. 

I'm not going to say anything more than that, other than the fact that to be certain that this never happens again, we won't be sharing these experiences on this site anymore.  Maybe in the future, but not for now. Not until we gain our trust in journeying. I wish the circumstances were different but we've all learned a hard lesson. They feel betrayed because people posing as us, went to them and told them things that were not true and vice versa. It's a mess right now, but I think we can clean it up. That's all on that for now.

In my last journal entry, I also made mention that I was having dreams and visions that were not my own - but those of others. Most of the time, these dreams play out as if it were a real life scenario. The people I see, I've never met before in my life and yet, I am living or relieving them of their nightmare scenarios. This is something I did not consciously recall raising my hand for, but if it helps somebody or as Kristin said, "foregives them of their sins," then I guess I can feel good about that. As long as I am able to get a good nights sleep every now and then :) Who knows, maybe this is what we're all supposed to do and even though it is a nightmare to go through each of these experiences that I see, which include: death, murder, abuse and many other twisted things that go on in the day to day life of people everywhere. It's not something you learn either - not like journeying.

Hey, check us out on Scribd. This site has many great articles on spirituality. 
Find us here:

Also, I've changes many of the videos around. They are scattered about - some new and some not so new.

I am almost done with stage 2 - The Higher Self and will be posting it to The Stages of Spirit Self as soon as it's done.



How are we all doing out there - across the planet?

I just want to take a moment to give a shout out to Kristin in New Zealand. Thanks Kristin for bringing your awesome energy ;)

The next shout out goes out to Melody in Brazil. When I can, I will find your higher self. However, if your higher self is anything like Protilius or Idavathian, then they will tell me that it is not up to me to find them for you. It is up to you. However, I have done it many times before and when I feel right again for journeying, I will have a look at your higher self and the place where you originate at the soul level.

Well, on another note, Paula's Birthday went really great yesterday. We didn't plan a single thing because everytime we do, everything is a mess. So, in learning not to plan and just winging it - we had a blast!

The best part of her birthday (in my opinion) was when I sang happy birthday to her. Then, when I cut her the biggest piece of the cake and took the smallest for myself, she ended up feeding me every single piece of her cake. Ya get where this is going? :) Not that my belt buckle needs to be expanded or anything, but if ya give ya get back - if ya know what I mean :)

Unlike other birthdays where everybody goes all out, we rented a couple of movies. We rented Across The Universe and Minority Report. Has anybody seen either of these?

I had been telling Paula about Minority Report because of the way the pre-cog psychics worked.  Up until yesterday, I had only seen parts of this movie and wanted to watch it in its entirety. Anyway, two of the women were batteries and the one named Agitha was the journeyer. Even though they could all "see" Agitha was the most talented. And, the way the operated in that sort of circle reminded me of how our higher selves operate from the plains. If you have seen that movie, I ask you to imagine ten beings in a similar formation, operating beneath a pyramid and that is how the TEN operate.

By the way, they are on beds and not submerged in water ;-)

It was interesting to note that Steven Spielberg directed that movie. Everything he has done, he hits very close to home for somebody who is just supposed to be a Hollywood Movie Director. I highly doubt that he is just a director, if you know what I mean. Another movie or mini-series he did was "Taken." Taken was a Sci-Fi series. Ever see it? It's pretty close to accurate and there are even a pair of Twin Flames in it. The characters are not presented as such, but if you see the movie, you may understand.

On the subject of movies and journeying for that matter: one movie that may help you to journey is the movie, "Jumper." I saw the previews to this movie and took Paula to see it last year. In that movie, the main character learns (at a young age) to physically jump from point A to B and collapse time/space. The movie itself reminded me of when I was practicing remote viewing on my own. It reminded me of this because I would take a picture of some exotic place, take a good long look at it, then close my eyes and then see it through the minds eye. Only, I would go there and see that place through the eyes of whatever was living there: like a bird flying in the air or a person walking the streets. By doing this, that's how I learned how to "Jump," LOL!

However, if you want to trick the daytime mind, cut out 50 to 100 pictures of exotic places from magazines and put each one in an envelope. Seal it. Assign it a random number (like they do in remote viewing), shuffle them so there is no way that your mind could ever be able to get a grasp of it all, and then pick one. When you pick one, simply look at the random number on the envelope and without using your MIND/BRAIN - go there!

There have been some messages coming through to Paula and I as of late, but mostly Paula is the one journeying right now. I have been receiving my information, as of late, from the gut. It's not my choice either. It's just that I am dealing with heavy stuff. Anyway, Spirit Mother came through 3 days ago and said, "the transformation is about to begin. Are you ready?" When she said this, she said it in the happiest way because she is always full of light and laughter. She can be bossy but she is always on the up and up with her personality.

Yesterday, when we were watching the movie, instead of hearing somebody say something to me, I just learned it. That is, "a knowing" came to me about something we have been going through.  Anyway, when it hit me, I said to Paula, "I understand what we're doing." She paused the movie and looked at me without saying a word and I told her what I felt. Before I tell you, I want to go more into that awakening thing.

Over the past 2 to 4 weeks, Paula and I have been dreaming non-stop. When we go through these awakening we go through them together. We've written about them in the past as well. So what do these awakening dreams consist of? They consist of everything human and that of our higher selves that are providing information. It's like a learning dream as well. Sometimes these dreams are horrific and sometimes they are delightful. Whatever it is, the awakening is a cleansing process of the soul.

One thing I have said to Paula about these dreams is that, these are not just my own thoughts but others as well. I have asked for answers and verification of this from Protilius but did not get the anser until yesterday; which came in the form of a knowing at a very unexpected time.

That knowing that hit me is: As lighworkers bringing in the new age, we 
 are also here to release the negative energies of others. That's it! It's more than just US - you, me, Paula and everybody else out there who is attuned to what is going on. 

By choosing this path, I believe after what I have learned yesterday that we (and that goes for you as well) are here to relieve or forgive those negative or past karmic energies of those who cannot do it by themselves.

I have had a hunch on this for some time. It never made any sense to me that I should be dreaming of other peoples thoughts, fantasies, aggressions and even nightmares and them letting them play out (eventually) to a peaceful resolution. However, I think I am getting it now.

It's enough for a person to have to reconcile with their own imperfections, but imagine taking on many others as well? This is hard work. By the way that's not the hard work the "W-ya" meant either ;) LOL

Journeying Recently we have been made aware by Protilius and Idavathian that our more recent journeys have been corrupted or hacked, for the lack of a better term, by another soul family - part of the pyramids.

We have had the feeling for the past month or so that something wasn't right. We have visited Protharus and Idagordava as well as Protilius and Idavathian and learned that not always, has it been them. We've confirmed it and we trust it.

This has really thrown a monkey wrench into things, more so for me, than Paula. I have already been struggling with journeying and now this.

Before I proceed, I just want to say that "WORSHIP" a term that I have been using for sometime now, encompasses everything from kindness, to utter compassion all the way up to love and sex in the spirit world. This is the way we have been shown. So, before anybody makes up their minds about us, I ask you not to judge (and I don't believe our followers will) until you find out for yourself. 

If you were brought up in the religion I was, you were taught that sex was utterly impossible in the spirit world. Or - and better yet - if it was, nobody would discuss it. But I tell you that sex and all of the joys that God has given us here on Earth, is most certainly a reality in our next realm. However, things are not always as they seem.

Anyway, back to that monkey wrench. We began to first question journeying when we found that Idagordava and Protharus were taking to us in such an overdone way. That is: I could journey to them to talk or exchange ideas and then find my merged higher self caught up in acts of pure lust and sex. It was gluttony and it didn't seem like the Protharus and Idagordava that we first knew. They went from spirits with a mission to: it's all about the spirit sex thing. 

I would tell Paula about these experiences and we just wondered if they were sowing their wild oats or overdoing it on the worship thing. We didn't know. We knew that spirit sex with lower self was posssible as well as with the higher selves, but never to this extreme or infatuation. Something wasn't right.

Paula has experienced the same as I have, when she journeys to them and I will leave that for her to tell you, if she so desires. However, her more recent experiences with Protharus and Idagordava are not unlike my own.

Basically, we have learned that we have been hacked and manipulated by another soul family that can shapeshift into anything or anybody we know and have been journeying to.

Recently, and I won't go into much detail because it is Paula's experience, Paula was contacted by Idagordava and Protharus and as soon as she was, Idavathian came swooping in and grabbed Idagordava by the head. When she did she handled her in such a way that made Paula shake all over. Idavathian was furious. Then, the being posing as Protharus came after Idavathian and hurt her really really bad - almost to death. When this happened Protilius flew in and Paula watched as a stilsil spike came out of his hand and he stuck it into the 3rd eye area of posing Protharus and took his life force directly out of him. He literally drained him of his life force, right there on the spot and the being posing as Protharus dropped. However, Idavathian was seriously hurt and Paula watched as he cried over Idavathian. Each time a tear drop would hit her wounds, she would slowly regenerate and heal.

Paula feels as though if Protilius had not shown up, Idavathian may have died - even at the soul level. Whatever the case, it was a very traumatic experience for Paula to see all of this.

Protilius told Paula that this would never happen again. Ever!

For me, personally, this has been the biggest test of faith I have ever had in my life. These recent experiences with higher self beings that can pose as Protilius and Idavathian is very unsettling.

Amongst a million other things all coming at me like a fast ball thrown high and inside, this is now becoming a test of faith for me. There is a part of me that wants to say the hell with the higher self crap and the pyramids and journeying and everything to do with it. Then there is the part of me that KNOWS that what I have experienced is truth and how can I turn away from that?

Here's the way I see it: I take the red pill and find out how deep the rabbit hole really goes. Or, I take the blue pill and wind up back on my couch watching the Red Sox and drinking Sam Adams lager.

Where is Morpheus when ya need him?



Today is Paula's Birthday. Even though I can't pull off the surprise that she pulled off for me, just 3 days ago (because she is home) I just wanted to take time and wish her the happiest of B-Days in my own way.

They say, once you are a Leo, you're always a Leo. Nothing could be further from the truth in Paula's case. Paula was born a Leo on the 23rd of August, 1967. The zodiac sign back then covered all the way to the 23rd for Leo's. Then, sometime later, they changed it from July 23rd to August 22nd. Anyway, the woman I know and love is most certainly not a Virgo. Not that there is anything wrong with Virgo, I just know a Lioness when I see and get to live with one everyday.

Anyway, Happy Birthday Paula! You are the greatest woman I've ever known and I am so happy we'll get to spend the rest of eternity together.

I love you



Today is a very special day.  Today is Brendan's Birthday. 
  I wanted to take some time out while he's at work to write a special message on our journal.  I want to share some of the many reasons why I love him and think he's the most special man I've ever known.

Brendan is my divine compliment.  He complements me in everyway.  He shows me things in myself and is a true reflection of life as it's meant to be. 

 There's not a moment when I don't think of him and long for him to be with me.  He shows me a love I've longed for deep in my soul and now I finally have.  I feel so blessed that God has given us this opportunity in life to enjoy one another incarnate.  

He has an understanding of me in all aspects of my life.  I can honestly say there is nothing I have to fear or hide from him because of this.  We have unconditional love for one another.  We know we're one not just us as twins that have come together, but with all that exists as well.

Here's some times I posted on a message board that I enjoyed and are enjoying now, with Brendan. 

1. The moment we met on an on-line game.
2. The moment I first figured out I loved him.
3. Dancing Disco on the virtual dance floor in our home.
4. The first time I saw his picture.
5. The moment I realized we both were saying the same things to each other at the same time.
6. The first time we said "I love you."
7. The first time we saw each other in the airport. OMG... I was simply amazed at his awesome masculinity.
8. The first time we made love and the million times since then.
9. The time we started noticing that people were interested in us. They would watch us in restaurants, at the park, in the museum, and many other places.
10. Provincetown - when we noticed time standing still for us to be together.
11. The way he looks at me.
12. The way he touches me.
13. The way he smells.
14. Everytime we had to part...It felt like we were dying.
15. Everytime we came together...we started rejoicing.
16. Working on our site together.
17. Meditating together.
18. Our first night together in our new home.
19. Spending time with our four children together.
20. Learning the true meaning of spirituality together.
21. Our sense of completion that goes beyond words.
22. Our connection with double digits 11-22-33-44.
23. Our magnetism to each other stronger than anything we've ever experienced.
24. Our ability to feel one another when we're apart.
25. The power to touch one another from great distances without any physical means.
26. Realizing he was the man I'd dreamed of for many years. I knew by his touch.
27. The way he caresses my hair.
28. My heart literally wanting to jump out of my chest when I hear his voice.
29. My heart racing and breathing heavy when he kisses me.
30. Our abilities to feel each others emotions even if we're not together at the time.
31. Our desire to be together no matter what obstacle comes our way.
32. Completing each other's sentences. It's great.
33. He's my male mirror image of the female image of me.
34. A realization that this isn't the first time we've met. Past life experiences mutual.
35. I can see his soul when I look into his eyes.
36. Knowing we have a great sense of purpose to fulfill.
37. Sacred Sexuality between each other that celebrates our unconditional love and a giving to one another without expectations of receiving in return.
38. Openness and honesty in our relationship.
39. Feeling limitless together or apart.
40. Unconditional love.

These are just a few of my thoughts about our twin flame relationship. I love him dearly and I'm humbly blessed to be able to be with him and experience the wonderful twin flame relationship we've so longed for. 

I must say its the most fulfilling relationship we can enter into as humans, on all levels. I know this relationship cannot be broken.  It was written in the heavens long ago, before we were ever incarnate.

Brendan, I love you darlin'.  Happy Birthday!



The trial run of the chat room is still on. Last night was fun and unexpected. I think from now on, we'll just pop on and see who is there. We don't like to plan on here. Every time we plan something it never works. Expecting the unexpected is what works best it seems.

We've also begun building the library with new smilies that we've found from the internet. Try them out!

Today was my day off and we found that there are some blocking energies at work. We have not been able to contact the higher selves of some of you who have requested we do so. Even though we have tried, there is something else going on at the moment that is prohibiting it.

On another note: When submitting TF Story Submissions to this site, we prefer a legit email and names that do not contain demon or devil or anything like it.

Also, don't forget to book mark the latest journal page as the previous one has been archived.

Right now, Paula is going in for a journey and as I write, she is talking with Idavathian. I am going now so that I can journal the experience.

We love you all and thanks for visiting this site and making it what it is :)