© 2008-2011 by Collapsing Duality
Shadowalker and Love
From The USA
Originally Posted on 12/23/2007
Posted here on 1/3/2011

Your Name/Nickname.........Shadow                                    Sun sign......Leo


Email contact...............N/A

Your Twins name/nickname........Love                                Sun sign...... Gemini

We first met about 29 years ago, I don't know where it went wrong, but it had to be early. She was constantly dating others while refusing to see me as anything but a distant friend, finally after about eight years of being refused I saw the writing on the wall and decided that maybe I was wrong and we weren't meant for each other. I saw her maybe a couple of times since then. Over the years I would get these feelings I knew were from her, always starting the same way, a tingling in the arms and legs that slowly enveloped the whole body with accompanying feelings of anxiousness and other feelings over top, some episodes stronger than others, but I never refused any of them but tried to help where I could. She moved out of the area to another state about 10-12 years ago to take care of her father.

Everything seemed to be going fine; I was blissfully unaware of just what we were to each other, till the night her father passed on. That started the same as all the others, till I got the feeling that she felt truly alone and frightened. It was then I was presented with a choice of either letting her fade and forget or help her, however, if I chose to help her I couldn't turn back or otherwise fail as the consequences were extreme. After about a minute of the link being broken, I decided that even if I never saw her again the world is a better place with her in it. This was about the halfway point of the night. After a short amount of time I felt he was gone. I just lay in bed and tried different things, first being to contain all the feelings coming in, this worked in the past, not this time, I swear I was on fire. Then I tried another thing I would do and send her all the love, compassion and strength I had, this actually seemed to make her worse, I actually thought I heard her screaming in my mind. At this point I knew I had to do something and quick, I decided I would try to touch her and let her know I was there, at first I visualized her as I remembered her, but this failed, then I tried imagining her as a translucent cloud, I reached out and suddenly all I saw was white, and something big was clawing and biting me that lasted several minutes. Then out of nowhere it seemed like acid or something scorching hot was thrown on to my face and chest several times, the sensation of my skin and muscle melting and the pain was so real I actually felt my face to see if there was any damage. I was getting worried I wasn't going to survive this, but I held on, even as she tugged at me as if trying to pull free, after a few minutes of this it seemed as if she was feeling pain and terror and it was from me, which I didn't want to cause so I let go. It was then I saw her in human form, she seemed to step back into a room I've never seen before. the lights must have been off because everything was in black and white. After a few seconds she proceeded to freak out, then suddenly she stopped and stood looking towards me, I came closer and it felt as if she was angry at me for letting her go and that she also felt as if I never loved her. She also seemed to want to just disappear, this was very bad and I knew I had to try to hold her again, so I went up to her and put my arms around her. She fought like a wild cat, it took me several minutes to get her arms pinned to her sides so she would stop hitting me, and even then she still struggled and squirmed, after awhile she began to relax and she went soft in my arms, slowly I allowed her to go to the floor as she sobbed and cried 'daddy' over and over. Someone must have sedated her because both she and the room faded, but I never let go of her, even when there was nothing there.

The last encounter and feeling like Rip Van Winkle #2 

A few weeks before our last encounter, I fell into a melancholy funk, I began to think of old friends I hadn't seen in years, after a few days she popped into mind, and I couldn't shake it, I was thinking 24/7 about where she was, if she were alive or dead, married what not, with no resolution, till one day my spirit guide (as some refer to these things) told me I would see her soon and to be ready. In that instant I knew beyond any doubt that this was true and that we were not over. I felt a great energy shoot up my spine and out the top of my head, I felt like a torch, this subsided after a few minutes leaving a strange feeling at the source, I began to feel as if I was walking around in a fog and it seemed as if I was seeing the world through a fractured prism, all colors seemed to be off and objects seemed to have other facets to them. This went on for days, always with the knowledge that I would see her again soon. Then one day while driving home from work I wondered what she looked like now. How would I recognize her after all these years? The next day, I was in the convenience store getting my morning coffee, when out of the corner of my eye I saw what I thought was a young girl walking back and forth debating on a purchase, after a minute or so I realized she was older than I thought and that she was the same height and body type and that I could use this woman as a model for what she could look like, after a few minutes of her pacing back forth (including a 180 pirouette to look towards me) she went to the back and seemed to make her decision, she then turned around and walked right up to me and said Hi. In that moment I knew deep down it was her, no one shakes the world for me like that. In that instant my mental block came up full force, and the first thought that came to mind was that she wouldnt want to have anything to do with me after we talked. She stood there for at least two minutes waiting for me to say anything else besides a hesitant Hi, giving me a perfect ¾ profile of her face. She then gave up and paid for her coffee that she was walking around with the whole time and left the store. I left soon after thinking it couldn't be her, she was a thousand miles away. 

My story addendum

A part of that night has come more into focus, when she turned to look at me I originally remembered the anger was from her, instead it was from me. She reacted with great sadness which caused me great pain in the knowledge that she knew how much pain she had caused me and was willing to accept this without replying, as was her right, with her own anger. I also knew she had always forgiven me for all the pain I caused her. The anger was only for a split second, and I will regret it till the end of days. 

First confirmation

This was so long ago I barely remember it, It had to be around 80/81. What I do remember is my body feeling like it was vibrating the whole day and being extremely anxious about something. It must have been serious because a friend of mine (who happened to be into metaphysics) remarked,

"You do know she needs you?"

I was like, "How do you know?"

"She told me. Besides it shows on you. Go to her you fool"

I did, a day later, and all she wanted was for me to call her on the phone, and if I was lucky I'll catch her when she's home. She went out a lot and never would let me know where.

And so it began. You have to remember disco had just died and new age was just starting off, and I didn't even have a clue as to what was really happening. Btw this was the first confirmation, all the rest started off pretty much the same including that night.

After careful consideration of some memories that came into sharper focus I have decided that she may not be my twin. I'm not quite sure what we are, I should know better after our next encounter in either plane. Which seems to be approaching at a little faster pace now. I must say, to know truly what someone else is feeling fills me with a humbling sense of awe.

To sync or not to sync

I knew where she lived, but rarely went by her house because it never felt right. One year her mother left and took the family (her) car which I never saw as she was rarely there apparently. The same year I bought a used car, fun car one of my favorites. For some reason I decided to drive by her house and there in the front was a twin of the car I was driving, same year, make, model and color. I found out later that her mother stopped by for an extended visit and that was their family (her) car. The car color wasn't that popular(I.e. red, black etc.) in that I only saw those two, there was one other but it was wrong year. I was afraid to ask what options were in her car, but then I already felt I knew the answer. There were other syncs too, some just as major and others minor.

Re: To sync or not to sync
I don't remember dreams usually. These two I had about four weeks ago.

First dream:

First I was talking to my twin in a diner of some kind, with red and yellow decor and we were sitting at some long black topped counter, we were drinking coffee and I asked if she read my letter.

To which she replied no, not the whole thing, and I told her she should because it had an important message for her.

Then her sister came in and they decided to dance. I was excited and even put the coin into the jukebox, yet I was not invited.

I then decided I was going to show her I was going to dance and went outside, I ran down three flights of these stone steps that were outside to a dock or wooden pavilion on the water where there were these women sitting at some round cafe like tables, they may have had partners but I don't remember them. I tried to dance with the first women, but she was surprised and I let her go. The second was willing and we started to dance, but a small child came up and she stooped to take care of her/him. I bent down to look at the child but he/she started to scream and cry. The third had a child already and I couldn't dance with her.

I then entered a small cave and came to the back wall and then saw a large hole to the one side overlooking a bay or cove which had a small rocky island with a large turtle on it. It was cloudy out and the wind was whipping the water to large waves. At this point another man came in and looked at the turtle but didn't know what it was. The turtle opened its mouth at which point I knew I had to leave. It was a warning of some kind.

I was then in large house that was abandoned and haunted, it was a voice repeating a message over and over. I saw a man leave and he closed the door behind him, I felt it was inconsiderate of him because others may need to leave quickly. I made sure to leave the door open because I knew others were behind me.

Then I was sitting at a table with my twin and some other man, he was older and going bald and looked overweight. He was explaining their lives together, they seemed to both care about my feelings. When I left I saw that the year of their vehicle a mini van was 1998 which gave me hope, because it meant it wasn't new.

Second dream:

Large red and blue billiard balls (at least from my perspective, at least ten feet around) on a green table top but the rest of my view was darkness. It seemed like I was floating around them looking at each one for several minutes, towards the end I was at the cue ball and I was about to make my shot and worried that I may screw it up, and actually did, but the shot went true anyway's.

The key that unlocks to Love

I have always had these feelings for you from the moment I first saw you all those years ago. I cannot say that they are what love is for everyone in truth, but I do know they run wide and deep. At times it is like some huge dragon breathing a fire that even all the stars in the night sky could not compare in intensity, and yet in an instant it can be so delicate that not even one single facet of a snowflake would ever be harmed. There is a peace then that even angels would not dare interrupt, even though commanded. It knows no boundaries in time or space, for it spans forever, through it we are touched by God.

Long ago you once told me that we never talked about deep things, like you and your boyfriend did, I did not know how to express what it was I felt all those years ago, that which I have carried within me all these years. I know now it was that peace that we shared that night, which only you can unlock with the key of your soul.

A sync, a premonition and a dream

It's been a while, nothing to add really as far as she goes, I guess no news is good news. Nothing over the top going on with connection other than the usual rollercoaster.

First the sync. I was reading an article online about the latest job figures and noticed that the edit time of the article was the same time that was on the computer clock 12:37, and to make sure I was paying attention the street address is 1237.

The premonition or something similar involved a discussion of time and the way it is constructed around us with twelve winds or someone I used to know who was younger than myself. It seemed as if I could almost see them as they folding something to show me, but as soon as I reached for it, it was gone.

Now the dream. I was looking at a green street sign (no I don't remember what it said), from a lower perspective about four feet from it, it was cloudy and misty, all I saw was the sign and the pole it was on. Then I heard a woman's voice say, "Twelve is the meaning of time, Twelve is the beginning of movement." I then tried to get clarification expecting to know what 37 meant, but instead the view changed to the outside of a passenger train car(which I associated with twin). 40's era and no station was in sight. I've seen that train car before when waking up these past weeks, so it may be a recurring dream.

Not sure what to make of all this. I do know this. That was a message since it came like all the other messages with no regard for my input. Like a download of information.

For a long time he gazed at me on the morning after. There was no regret, nor sadness, no pain born of life, just the gentle acknowledgement that things will be OK. My only wish is that I may one day repay this debt I owe him for that visit, which he did not have to do, nor for the gifts he gave to me.

Lions and tigers and....WTF????!!!!! #22  [url]  [-]

Posts: 541
12/30/08 5:44 PM
Disclaimer - I am taking all of this with a huge grain of salt. However, it is what I have found and I am well aware of how we can all twist things to fit what we want.

Lions and tigers

On the night (April 10 - 11, 2004) when I felt twin's need so keenly there were 3 naked-eye comets in the skies. Naked-eye is defined as any celestial body that has a brightness from magnitude 6 dimmest to magnitude 0 brightest and can be seen without the aid of telescopes or binoculars, etc. A somewhat rare event

"For comet enthusiasts, the potential to glimpse three different naked-eye comets within a span of a few weeks is an anomaly." (National Geographic News)

They are:
(NEAT) C/2001 Q4 at 4.8 mag (Discovered by Near-Earth-Asteroid Tracking Team (Jet Propulsion Laboratory) on August 24, 2001 at 20.0 mag)
(Bradfield) C/2004 F4 at 4.5 mag (Discovered by William A. Bradfield (Yankalilla, S.A., Australia) on March 23, 2004 at 8 mag)
(Linear) C/2002 T7 at 4.1 mag (Discovered by Lincoln Laboratory Near-Earth Asteroid Research project on October 14, 2002 at 17.5 mag)

What does this have to do with lions? In my near constant search for meaning to that night I happened upon a web site someone put up about "Picture Bible Codes" (bible codes are hidden words or phrases found within biblical text that appear to be prophecies, and of course very controversial). He managed to interpret some codes that related to those three comets. In any case I saw some things on that site that seemed to symbolically mimic what I experienced that night, and I now have a clearer picture of what really happened when I first tried to grab a hold of her and felt like I was being attacked by a 'tiger', she wasn't attacking me nor was she trying to push me away, in fact, she may have been trying to get me to do something other than just lay there. This occurred to me when I saw the following: "He stooped down, he couched as a lion, And as a lioness; who shall rouse him up?" and "He couched, he lay down as a lion, And as a lioness; who shall rouse him up?" I do remember one thing very clear about her state of mind during that time, underneath all the emotions and feelings I was receiving there was a sense of great frustration from her that disappeared as soon as I 'let go'.

Additional info: I happen to be a Leo, her father was Cancer, and she is Gemini, on May 17 - 18, 2004 comet NEAT crossed the zodiac belt in the constellation Cancer with it's tail directed at the constellation Leo. I do not know where the other two were since all available astronomical information on those two is not easily entered into the astronomy software available to me.

NEAT was in the constellation Hydrus (common name: the water snake) on that night.

All three comets are classified as non-periodic (their orbits are longer than 200 years), in addition NEAT and Linear are classified as Hyperbolic Comets (Comets on hyperbolic orbits) and Bradfield is classified as a Comet (Comet orbit not matching any defined orbit class.)

There were some things further I found on that site which I will simply hold in reserve since I do not know how deeply I should read into the message/sync or whatever it is, plus I do not know Hebrew or Aramaic and cannot fact find behind his findings nor know how loose he is with his interpretations.

For now I will just see it as it appears to be, I figured out a little more of the puzzle. I will say this about 2004, it was a somewhat significant year for comets since there were 5 naked eye comets that year and the first time in recorded history,

"Yet this is an auspicious circumstance, as Machholz became the fifth naked-eye comet of 2004. Twice before, in 1911 and again in 1970, four comets managed to reach naked-eye brightness within a single calendar year. But when Andrew Pearce of Noble Falls in Western Australia saw Comet Machholz without any optical aid on Nov. 19, it put 2004 into the books as a record year for naked-eye comets." (MSNBC)

[final edit] 1911 happens to be my house address and 1970 is the year when I first heard my 'guide'.

Grand Trine Kites

Approx 10 AM EDT on the day her father released his soul from his earthly cares a grand trine kite formed astrologically, it held it's shape for the entire day and into the night till it finally broke tension about 2 hours after she faded from my arms.

I have no idea on this one, perhaps only to show me that it did in fact happen, then again Grand Trine Kites do form somewhat often, certainly more often then having 3 naked eye comets appear at the same time. I know I'm probably not using this right, but hey it's my sync/message, you have a problem with that talk to the source.


124 days after she faded from my arms, hurricane Charley suddenly broke from it's projected course and grew from a projected category 2 to a category 4 hurricane in a 6 hour period and seemed to make a bee line for the last referenced place where twin and her father were (from the obituary) catching many off guard, the eye wall passed over the town where he lived even after the eye shrunk conciderably, to make it more interesting her father's first name was Charles. Charley is a more familiar term for Charles.

Other interesting facts:
This was the first time in history that two tropical cyclones struck the same state in a 24-hour time period.
Charley was one of two major hurricanes to hit Florida in 2004, and one of four hurricanes to directly affect the state.
Charley was a very small, very fast moving storm, otherwise damage would have been much more severe.
Because of its effects in the United States, the name Charley was retired from the rotating lists of tropical cyclone names in the spring of 2005 by the World Meteorological Organization.

I remember hearing about this storm and thought to myself, "someone's getting a message." I do not know how long she stayed down there after her father's death having lived there for 13 years, I do know now she moved back up to my area and was living within 10 miles of me in that same year.

There were also 5 naked-eye comets in 2007 the same year I ran in to twin again face to face, though no comets were visible on that day/night.

This is a bit technical. But it's what I've found. I've underlined the relevant items that jumped out at me. From what I've seen these were three somewhat unusual comet passings.

One other thing I left out, all three comets first made their naked-eye appearence within roughly the same week.
(NEAT) C/2001 Q4 (Mag. 2.8 in May of 2004, but visible to the naked eye early April or even late March)
(Bradfield) C/2004 F4 (Mag. 3.3 in mid April 2004, but first seen by naked eye between April 8-12)
(Linear) C/2002 T7 (Mag. 2.2 in spring of 2004, but first visible to naked eye in Southern Hemisphere around April 9)

(NEAT) C/2001 Q4
It brightened well along the formula of 8.6 log r for about one year, from 2003 spring when
it began to be observed visually, to around 2004 April 10 when about 40 days before the
perihelion passage.

Because the perihelion distance is 0.96 A.U., not so close to the sun, the light curve seemed
stable. It was expected to keep brightening well and reach to 2.0 mag at best in May.
However, the brightening evidently slowed down after April 10. It was just before the
perihelion passage, and the heliocentric distance did not change at that time. That means
the activity of the comet declined.

Actually, it reached to 3.0 mag at best, fainter than expected by 1.0 mag.
The absolute magnitude of this comet is bright as about 4 mag. And the perihelion distance
is large. Therefore the decline of the brightness is very unusual.

(Bradfield) C/2004 F4
The brightening was rather slow along the formula of 7.3 log r before the perihelion passage, from March 23 when Bradfield discovered it in the evening very low sky at 8 mag, to April 12 when confirmed at 3.3 mag. Because the perihelion distance is very small as 0.17 A.U., and the absolute magnitude was rather faint as H10=8.0 mag, it could vanish at the perihelion passage. But actually, it became a great comet with a long tail.

At the perihelion passage, it brightened due to the forward scattering, and reached to -2 mag in the SOHO/LASCO images. After the perihelion passage, it faded completely along the same formula as before the perihelion passage. That means the comet was not influenced at all after passing very close by the sun. Because it was not visible in the SWAN images in early March, it probably brightened rapidly until late March. When three weeks passed after the perihelion passage, it suddenly began fading rapidly along the formula of 16.5 log r. The comet was 0.7 A.U. from the sun at that time. The comet reached to the same distance from the sun before the perihelion passage in late March. That means the turning point of slow and fast brightening or fading was also symmetric around the perihelion passage.

(Linear) C/2002 T7
It brightened well along the formula of 10 log r after its discovery until 2003 October when about a half of a year before the perihelion passage. However, it brightened rather rapidly after 2003 November, and became brighter than predicted by 1 mag in 2004 January. The heliocentric distance was around 3.0 A.U. when the rapid brightening began. After February, when the heliocentric distance reduced to 1.5 A.U., the brightening turned to slow down. Then it kept slowly brightening along the formula of 5 log r, and reached to 4 mag around the perihelion passage in late April. The perihelion distance of this comet is small as 0.61 A.U. It is common that brightening of a comet with a small perihelion distance slows down around the perihelion passage. The comet approached to the earth rapidly after that, and it was expected to reach to 1.5 mag at best in May. It becomes bright as it becomes close to the earth. So it was confidentially predicted to be 1-2 mag. But actually, the comet did not brighten as expected at all. Finally it reached to 3.0 mag at best.

Some thought at first, it means the activity of the comet declined rapidly. However, the unexpected fading of this comet is probably not due to the decline of the activity. After passing near by the earth in mid May, it was expected to be fading while it became far from the earth. But actually, it brightened slowly. Finally in early June, the brightness recovered to the original.It is hard to consider that the activity of the comet declined temporarily when it became closest to the early by chance, and recovered soon after the temporary fading of 1.5 mag.

Please tell us how you met? (Internet, store, vacationing, dancing, etc....) 

In the mall September of  1978.

How has finding your soul mate/twin flame changed your life?  

It's hard to say.  This connection has been for over 32 years now

Are you artistic.................................................?  YES

Do you believe in reincarnation...................?  I don't see why it can't happen.  When
dealing with souls the first thing to forget is finite.

Shadowalker's art of her.

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