Collapsing Duality...Journal

Copyright © 2008, 2009 & 2010 - by Collapsing Duality


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I just got home from work where I did a 14 hour day. I am bushed but as I was going through emails, I noticed the 8th Twin Flame story submission for the month.


You guys are just tearing it up these days. I love to see it!

Anyway, with 2 hours left to go in the month of March, there will be no time to edit the story and create the page. So - look for the next Twin Flame story sometime in the next day or two.

Hey - we had 8 great stories from people around the world all going through and/or discovering how great a gift the Twin Flame relationship can be.


One thing I am realizing is that soon, I am going to need some help just to keep up with this site. Either that - quit my day job. The month of March has made me realize that Collapsing Duality is going nowhere. No, Collapsing Duality is expanding. Just see the Collapsing Duality.Ning site. But, the question is, how will I be able to maintain the site that is growing by leaps and bounds, maintain a day job, spend time with my children and cherish each moment I have with Paula?

I have so many ideas to get out there - so many articles that I want to write - so many people in my life to love and/or spend time with and it's getting harder and harder to do these things. Yet, I love working on this site as well as everything else listed above with the exception of my day job - sometimes :) I think we can all agree with that one ;)

Well, that's it for now. 

If you didn't already see it, please check out the latest Twin Flame story from Bailey and Zach - HERE

Thank you Bailey and Zach for submitting your awesome story.

We thank you both.

Brendan and Paula



Alright, that's it ;) You guys are really rocking the house now!

Now I've said it before about "numbers or even records being for accountants to deal with" but Collapsing Duality just received a really great Twin Flame story submission from Zach and Bailey which happens to be the 7th one this month. AND - that 7th one breaks the old record of 6 in a one month time frame!


To Zach and Bailey, I will start editing your story and should have it posted by either tomorrow or the next day. Certainly no later than the 31st ;) Thank you for sharing that with us - especially your real life photos! We appreciate that :)

Last night, Paula had a really great journey that began with the both of us being buzzed. I knew she was feeling better because we got to spend the day wrapped in each others arms and I looked at her and said, "go for it! I can see you have the energy so go for it."

So, Paula tapped into that buzz tone and found a woman named Rena who is from the UK and recently moved there from Israel.

Okay, the rest of this journey I will be sharing on the Pyramid News page, when I get the time to write it, but in the meantime, here's a clue ;) Go to The Pyramids Page and find the Pyramid archives and find the name Rena. She's on there, go look!

Hahahaha :)



There is so much to talk about. Where do I begin? :)

For one: I have journeyed and found Rebecca's higher self whose name is Kilianamalaan. I recently wrote about the discovery of her with help from guardian angel Elloweina in the Pyramid News section of this site. Now, I have actually journeyed and met with Kilianamalaan.

I recently wrote to Rebecca with my findings and here is what I wrote:

I have finally found your higher self. You are amazing looking! Typical of most mothers, you have a gemstone in your forehead that is sea green like that of the color of the water in certain parts of the Med. Your hair comes down in long curls of dark brown and there is a sort of head band or jewelry type thingy that encircles your head and connects to the gemstone that is literally part of your forehead. She wears a long flowery robe of some sort and looks more like a cross between an Angel and an alien for a lack of a better way to describe. Her eyes are kind and wise. She has (like we all do) very large eyes.

Kilianamalaan is all telepathic. I hear no words with her - only thoughts of understanding that I find incredibly hard to describe. It's as if so much was said and there's no way to put it into words. Do you know what I mean??? Sheesh!!!

John (like you suspected and knew) is your divine compliment and I almost have his name solid. His name too, begins with a K. For now, it appears to be Ketrumolos. However, I know intuitively that I am off by just a bit. I will go back again and again until I get it right. That's how we roll - If I can't see the words flow from Elloweina's lips and see each letter scroll across my visual field, it's not solid to me. Give it time, I'm getting close ;) Your higher self also played a part in retrieving his higher self name.

One thing I forgot to mention to Rebecca in that email were the obvious differences in the natural surroundings of where Kilianamalaan was found. Where Protilius and Idavathian come from, also known as The Plains, the terrain is more arid. Where Kilianamalaan was found, the there is much more vegatation. In other words, there were trees and plants and flowers all surrounding her in this outdoor setting.

Please be sure to check out pyramid news to watch and listen to Rebecca tell it from her perspective.

Find that link HERE

- break -

Paula and I have begun writing an article - together! I think it is coming along just fine. This will be an article designed to help one find others in their very own soul family. That is the goal - to awaken to one's true spirit self and then turn around and share the information with others in hopes that they may do the same.

Here is an excerpt from what we are working on - in paragraph order:

Brendan -   With the realization and/or discovery of one’s Twin Flame, comes a greater sense of connectedness not just to your Divine Compliment, but to all things living. When I say, ‘all things living‘ I am talking about everything: plant life, animal life, marine life, even the ground we walk on - we are connected with. When we become “aware” that such an intimate relationship to the everything and all can and does exist, we become aware that God really does have a “master plan.” Which ever path we decide to take when we come to that fork in the road on our way to this discovery, does not necessarily matter, so as long as we find the truth of it in our own way. By setting out to find the truth in our own way without letting any of those past belief systems get in the way, we are afforded the opportunity to expand our awareness just enough to be able to wrap our hearts and minds around the infinite possibilities that exist within God’s creation.

Paula -   There are very simple ways of connecting with living things and building energy.  Some people are not even aware they are connecting when they do these simple day to day things. Sometimes it’s as simple as just going outside and feeling the sun touch your skin or the raindrops fall on your face. There is a sense of joy that fills the soul.  This is the creation of God’s Divine energy and the connection we all have to life.  Closing your eyes and breathing in the air, meditation, and soaking in the sun can build this life force energy.  The connection to this life force (God) helps open up the heart and mind and lets you feel the oneness of every living thing in creation.  This is the beginning of the expansion of awareness.  We are all born with it and some of us lose touch with this very basic connection at a young age.  The key is to re-connect so to speak.

- break -

Please check out a recent video from Rebecca at CollapsingDuality.Ning



March is turning out to be an amazing month for Twin Flames stepping up to share their stories with the world. So far, I have posted 5 stories this month and I still have another one I've yet to even start editing. That brings the total to 6. The only other month we have had this many submissions was in November (the 11 month) of last year. March came in like a lion but will it go out like a lamb??? That is the question. I say we break the record and push the limits. Let's outshine the 11 month of last year.

Our latest story comes from Rachel and Jose. I really enjoyed this submission and the poetry included. Thank you Rachel for sharing an awesome story.

I will begin on the 6th Twin Flame story submission next. This one was submitted by Rena and Angela. Look for their story soon!!!

 It's great to see CollapsingDuality.Ning is coming along. It takes a lot of energy to do this stuff and Rebecca is doing a great job with it. I know it will be a challenge for her as it is with Paula and I, but when you are in the midst of creating something you know is special and true, it just makes it that much easier.

Journey wise, my ears have been ringing off the hook today. I have not tapped into whoever is buzzing me because there are so many 3D issues going on that I just don't feel like it.

We do know that Paul (aka: Protharus) is making some progress. This is good to see. Until he accepts his higher self and rides with the angels, which I will know if he does not, we will be leary of any further journeys to and from him. Without his higher self and the company of angels, he is left wide open which leaves the doors wide open to everybody else within the pyramid. We're not going to have that any longer. Enough said about that though. End of subject!

The month of March has been a topsy turvy one. Ever since this major falling out with Protharus, the numbers of hits have gone all over the place. One day we can have 45 hits and the next day we are over a 100. Up until March we were averaging 80 to 100 per day. Many hits go straight to the Journal, many to the Twin Flame signs page, but up until this month we were steady. Now it is all over the place. That is no coincidence either. Whenever things get crazy, we're all affected by it. All I can say is that I hope things calm down soon - not story submission wise, but energy wise :)

We need to regain some serious balance here. I am not preaching either. I have lost a lot of balance this month and am working to get it back. I can feel it.

Well, that's all for tonight.

Dohhh!!! I just looked at the hit counter for the home page. As of right now, there are 19,111 hits to that page alone.

There's a pair of 11's in there ;)



"Talking God"

In my mind, I keep going over what transpired yesterday afternoon when I pleaded with God to give the incarnate extension of Protharus, (Paul) a second chance.

I know I wrote a bit about it yesterday, but the thing that really hits me like a cold cloth is the fact that when I asked God to give Protharus a second chance, he got mad! No, he didn't get mad the first time. The first time I asked, I felt inside that he thought of it as a sort of, "here we go again." The second time, there was a frustration that I would even have to ask him twice. On the third time, he let me know it in my soul to stop asking ;) I felt it!!! 

Needless to say, I stopped asking God and asked Elloweina why he was mad. Elloweina responded by saying, "he's not mad, B, he is just weighing the decision and he heard you the first time."

While I waited for Gods decision, I thought I should use my higher self to help heal Paul. I did so by laying down in his body which was lifeless. But when I did that, I got kicked out by his higher self Protharus. Protharus said, "no, not right now."

So, the only other thing I could think of was to try and heal him the way I heal others in the 3D. That is: With my higher self, I put my right hand on his forhead (spirit right hand ;) and with my left hand raised up, I channeled the energy of God, into him in hopes it would make him stir from this lifeless state.

What happened next I am too amazed to tell. I hope one day that he (Paul) can tell you himself, if he can recall. It was then that I had realized that God had finished weighing his decision :)

I do know one thing and that is: He is going to have to accept his higher self in order for us to work together at the 3D level. He will also need the angels within him. Without his higher self and angels, he is wide open as the doors of Fort Knox in a den of thieves. And by leaving yourself vulnerable, you leave your pyramid vulnerable.



In a journey yesterday, Paula learned through Angel Elloweina that because of the turmoil in our own very pyramid, that this caused an energetic shift in equilibrium that resulted in a lot of chaos and catastrophe.

I have not been to the Plains to see for myself as Paula and I are just trying to get things under control and back in order. What has gone on over the past few days has left us physically bruised and exhausted. We ache in the same places.

Note: When you are closely connected to your Twin Flame and even spirits from your very soul family, when things happen, EVERYBODY FEELS IT! This is the new reality - the awakening to a one world mind and soul where nothing is hidden. When somebody does a good thing we will benefit from it and when somebody causes imbalance, we will suffer from it.

Our most recent Twin Flame story submission comes from Rebecca. Before she ever even submitted that story, she began creating a Collapsing Duality.ning site - a spin off of this site with a few more options and a different perspective on the pyramids.

She actually created the site without even asking my opinion or permission - LOL! However, after I had a chance to take a good look at it and the fact that she has such a great understanding and attraction to the pyramid of souls, I think I like what she is doing with this site :)

You can find that site HERE

You can read the story of how I was able to help her confirm that she was indeed Mother to another pyramid of souls. Read about that HERE at Pyramid News. There is still much more to find out regarding her higher self and her divine compliments higher self, but that will come in time.

There is much more to write about, but I will do that another time if I can even remember to do so.

Final note to Paul: You are not a disgrace to this pyramid. Paula and I are working with the Angels and your higher self, Protharus to help you in a speedy recovery.

I pleaded with God today for your recovery and another chance.

I was pleased by the outcome that I was able to partake in.

We are wishing you a speedy recovery and hope to work along side you very soon.



What an amazing day :) I will write about it ALL tomorrow. I am still basking in glee for what I have been enlightened to know.

In short: We are in email contact with somebody who just so happens to be the Mother of another pyramid. She found us too :)


She already knew she was from a pyramid even before she wrote us - how cool is that!?

I will tell all tomorrow in a journal entry and I am going to be sharing her Twin Flame story as well - right here on the site.

- break -

I lifted the ban on Elloweina's real life picture that can be found on the Our Story page. I did this for reasons that are too personal to share. But, her RL pic is back up as well as Protilius and Idavathian's pictures that Paula and I drew. All can be found on the Our Story Page.

- break -

One thing that bothers me most about the path of this pyramid is the fact that I am being challenged by people (our children) of this very pyramid. These things do not come from their higher spirit selves, they come from a very concret 3D thought process where people spar and whoever is the tough guy, wins!

That's not the case with the pyramids.

I remember watching a video where Bruce Lee would talk about his form of martial arts and how it really had nothing to do with fighting - yet, wherever he went, people challenged him. Most of these people failed to realize that what he was after, was purely spiritual and had nothing to do with hurting others. Yet, time and time again, he was forced to prove himself.

Well, sometimes that's how I feel when I am on this spiritual path. No, I could never fill Bruce Lee's shoes :) He was a warrior in his own right - a peaceful one - a respected person.

On 11/11/2009 Paula and I were joined as one. Nobody can come between that - not a child of this pyramid or any other.



I actually have an unexpected and welcomed day off today. I was just telling Paula that I feel I am getting burnt out again and looky here :)

Paula and I have learned quite a bit more regarding Protharus, since the recent journal entry on 3/7/10.

- break - I am getting buzzed and am going to find out who it is ;)

brb's an hour and a half later. I actually fell asleep after I tapped into who was buzzing me. It was Paul. I started with Elloweina by asking her who was buzzing me. She said it was Paul. I asked what his intentions were. She said he wanted to apologize. I thought about it for a minute and then decided to follow that ring tone to it's source. I use a creative visualization to help me get there too :) Since I am being buzzed or rung like a telephone, I visualize myself traveling through the phone lines and wherever I end up, I end up.

It is interesting also that as soon as I started this journal entry, which in large part was going to be about Paul, he rings me ;) That is no coincidence either. He can feel me when I'm writing about him or thinking about him or even upset with him - and vice versa. It is the same with Ali and Paula and that connection criss crosses. It's quite an amazing connection for 2 pairs of divine compliments to share. It is also turning out to be quite a challenge.

So anyway, back to what I was writing b4 journeying and then I'll tell what Paul said.

Paula made a journey to Elloweina on the day I wrote the 3/7 journal entry. Paula asked her where angel Iparoth had gone because neither of us had heard from him lately. Elloweina said that he was mad at Paul and had gone to another person who is from another pyramid to help them. She also told Paula that he was still there and that all we had to do was ask for him.

Note: Iparoth, who is an angel now, was also Paul's real life father until he passed several years ago. He was Paul's #1 angel - Paul said it himself in an email that he wrote to us.

For reasons we don't completely understand, Paul continues to buck this pyramid and it's spiritual ways that were set in place long before we were ever born to our earth parents. He even refused to take in angel Iparoth has his guardian angel when we asked him to do so. Ali however took in angel Pelaxion. I took in Elloweina and Paula took in Iparoth, since Paul turned his back to him.

We only asked him to take in Iparoth because at the time, we were severely under attack from a pyramid that works in the negative side of the energy spectrum.

Another way he has bucked this pyramid is the fact that he refuses his higher self or should I say, feels he is nothing like what he (Paul) really is. Paul told me this personally. I know. He said that he thought that his higher self, Protharus, represented a part of him that he lacked. I would agree that the two are quite a bit different. Paul is more passionate and firey whereas Protharus is like (and Paula and I joke about this) the John Denver of this pyramid, Hehehe :)

I just had this visualization of an alien wearing a cowboy hat and singing, County roads take me home.....and I can remember what else was in that song, LOL

Me, personally, I like journeying to Paul's higher self. Protharus is like the good ole boy of this pyramid. He is always willing and able to help out. He always has this big smile on his face when I journey to him at the pyramids. And the same goes for Ali's higher self, Idagordava. Although Idagordava is not a good ole country girl. Her energy is much different - like Idavathian's energy, she radiates this strong feminine energy that is so thick, you can feel it within you and all over.

So anyway, after Paula talked to Elloweina, she got buzzed by Ali who was very distraught. She told Paula that Brendan journeyed to her the night before and told her to read the latest journal entry. Apparently, from what she told Paula, she got so mad at Paul, she kicked him out of the house. And, as of today, from the journey I made, I can tell he is still not back at home. But back to what Paula found out.

In that journey, Paula could see Ali in her home. She hadn't slept at all that night. Paula told me she was surrounded by all of these booklets and diaries that Paul had been keeping since he has been in contact with us. Ali told Paula that she was going to burn them all because these diaries were all about us - me and Paula. Paula told her that might not be a good idea and to think it over before she does anything she might regret. When Paula said this, Ali got mad and cursed out Paula and that was the end of that journey session.

A few moments later, Ali came back and apoligized for cursing her out. I can't remember what else was said after that because I think we both fell asleep afterwards.

Today, Paul journeyed to me as I started writing this journal entry. I laid down in bed and found him sitting at a desk or table that looked more like a desk than anything else. I could see him clearly. He looked well considering the predicament he has created for himself.

His first words were, "Yo, B, I just want to apologize and say that I am sorry to you." 

I accepted his apology.

Then he went on to say that Paula and I don't completely understand how important it is that he connect with Paula and how she was the mother of all creation. I stopped him there and told him that we understand everything just perfectly and that every time he succumbs to his fears and desires, we lose more higher selves - and that last part came straight from Elloweina. 

Everytime we stall this pyramid and its progress, we lose higher selves. Can any of you guess what that means? I believe you can.

I asked Paul if he had heard from Ali and he said he had not seen or heard from her in 2 days. I couldn't believe it either. I figured they would have at least talked by phone. But I guess not. That is why I did not find him at home either. It sounded like he said he was staying at one of his apartments, but was local to where he lived.

From there, I began to drift off to sleep because I am so tired from my day job. I was able to regain my composure and journey back a few more times to find him with his head hung low and crying. I did all I could to muster up the energy to hug him. I don't honestly recall if he could feel it though. Then, I was off to sleep and there was nothing stopping it.

Elloweina mentioned that we would have to go through this with him (Paul) 3 more times until he understood enough so that we could work together and do what we are supposed to do. Until then and sadly enough, we are losing higher selves with each game he plays and each moment that passes.

The structure of this pyramid cannot and will not change because of what somebodys preconceived notion believes it should be.

We have the opportunity to do great things and help a lot of people.

That's all for today.



I cannot believe I finally got this slow internet connection to do something for me. LOL! The internet connection I have to work with here in Ohio is about 1/3 as fast as the one I had when we lived in MA. I literally spent a half an hour just trying to create a new page for a new story - which is ridiculous because we don't have that time anymore. So...when I try and post a new story, the connection has been timing out. We have 2 new stories to post and I am slowly making progress on them and will post them when either this computer/internet connection permits me to do so.

Things are looking up and up here in Ohio. Paula and I are almost certain we will have a home of our own very shortly. We visited the home today. The people renting it to us are really nice and have remodelled it. It has 4 bedrooms - 2 baths - and 2 kitchens (1 up and 1 down). It has 1 attached garage and 1 seperate along with a shed. There is also a really nice yard and it is in a good neighborhood where the children can play and be safe as can be. As of right now - it looks like it is ours. Wahooo!!!

I must apologize for not being able to write on here as much as I once did. There are many factors involved and a slow internet connection is just one of them ;) You have to remember that I have just started a new job and am working my butt off to send money back to my two children who are still in Massachusetts. In that respect, I am just getting on my feet. I have moved to completely new environment and am still adjusting to it. Paula and I are still healing from our gap of not living with each other that lasted for almost 3 months. There are bills to pay and mouths to feed and Paula and I are all about seeing that our children get what they need. I feel that when these things that I have just written about become more fulfilled, we will be back in full swing here on this site.

Spiritually speaking -  or should I say Pyramidically speaking, we have had some major set backs with the pyramid and to be quite honest, it's very saddening. We have had many conversations via journey mode with Protharus' incarnate self (Paul) and he is feeling like he should Father of this pyramid and call the shots.

Side note: remember when we were kids and there was always that one kid on the playground that thought he should be king shit because he was blessed with a gene that made him much bigger than all the other kids on the playground? Well, this is what we have (past tense) been dealing with. He (Paul) feels that just because he has been dealt a better hand in this 3D world in which we live, that he can have his cake and eat it too...

Paula and I have talked in depth on this and we both agree that until he gets his ego in check and releases all this fear that has lead him to some strange fantasies involving this pyramid, none of this will happen. None of it!

Protharus new he was part of a pyramid before we ever met him or should I say, journeyed to him. Then, when we came along and discovered that our higher selves were mother and father to this pyramid and we made him aware of that, he couldn't understand why he wasn't the one.

Do you see how silly and childish this has all become??? This is exactly what I didn't want to happen. This is why I have time and time again tried to put it out there that although Paula and I are Mother and Father, we are all one and that it takes utter balance and cooperation between all of the higher and lower selves to make this happen.

This pyramid has not even gotten off the ground yet, and one person who happens to be a very key person in this pyramid, has just thrown a monkey wrench into it all after suffering a temper tantrum.

Through mind manipulation he is trying to turn Paula and I against each other claiming that he can save her from me. Can you believe it? LOL! This is where his mastery in the concrete sense of shamanism has begun to mix with the abstract and he is using both for his own self advancement.

Don't worry about me :) I got his number :) I can read his vibe like the newspaper because it is the same S$$$, different day. Like the needle skipping on the record, I always know - even before it is set in motion. And, by knowing I am ready for whatever round of bs is coming next.

So, how does Paula feel about all this? I can't speak for her, but she tells me that she really really WANTS him to QUIT BUZZING HER and trying to sing songs to her via journey mode. Basically, she wants him to stop intruding on her privacy because the vibe he brings, scares her. He scares her because he has a talent for "pushing" his thoughts and wishes upon people and them making them happen for his benefit. However, he cannot do that with us because we are aware of it now and ALL of his plans which had nothing to do with Paula and I. No, he was going to try and split us up because he never imagined that the mother of this pyramid would have found the father of this pyramid and this didn't fit into the painted picture that he had of the pyramid, in his mind.

We have spoken with him just recently via journey mode. We told him our wishes and let him know what would happen if he didn't stop contacting us - especially Paula. Paula doesn't like his energy anymore - something has changed. I agree with this as well. In fact, I was privy to his long range plan as early as last September. You remember when ;) If not, go back and read Septembers journal. I'm sure you'll be able to put a little something together.

In the meantime, Paula and I are just trying to get back on our feet and don't want to be bothered by any of the nonsense that Paul is pushing.

Note: If you don't know what pushing is, just watch the movie "Push." You'll get it then and it is real. To me, to push, is to push undue influence over unsuspecting and otherwise trusting people.

Pushing to me = major karmic backlash which always corrects and balances the perpetrator.

This path is not one that is meant to be "pushed." This path is one that is meant to be sought out and/or seeked. This is a path. If this path is pushed, then the pusher is a preacher and we have come full circle right back where we started. Remember, we want an evolution and not a revolution. We are striving for a leap forward and not a leap back. Besides, revolutions are so sixties.

End note:

Last night, Paula and I went out to our spot. We hung out, she sang karaoke, we had some drinks and forgot about the pyramid for awhile.

This site is for Twin Flames and will always be about Twin Flame love.

I'll be writing again - even if there are some unusual lapses in doing so.