Collapsing Duality...Journal

Copyright © 2008, 2009 & 2010 - by Collapsing Duality

Click HERE to go to Twin Flame Journal May/June 2010

5/12/2010 or 11

Angels are not fortune tellers- they cannot tell us what will be- 
Yet, still they guide us on our path- as we evolve towards self mastery.

In the above writing, I was thinking about what our #1 Angel, Elloweina had said in regards to Paula's health and how she was sicker than she knew she was. I tried as hard as I could to get a difinitive answer in regards to the outcome of Paula's recent surger and yet, not even Elloweina could provide a concrete answer - let alone, our higher selves. No, only God can do that.

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I am so happy to announce that Paula's surgery went successfully yesterday and she is now recovering. While yesterday was an extremely long day for everybody in our family, I have no basis in complaining after the pain that my most beautiful endured. Yet, Paula is going to be just fine. Ironically, her surgery began yesterday: 5/11/2010 at 1PM or 11. So...this freaked us out BIG TIME. Paula will be out of work for some time and have to take it very slow but told me she plans on finishing some new articles that she's been working on. So...we can look forward to that in the future.

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I wanted to take a moment to thank R & M who recently submitted their Twin Flame story to Collapsing Duality. By sharing your story with us, you are helping other Twin Flames and Soul Mates in so many ways.

It is also nice to be able to read the positive feedback and support from our readers who now have the chance to make comments in the guestbook section of each Twin Flame story submitted. You may find the guestbook at the bottom of each story.

Going forward, I plan on adding guestbooks to all of those Twin Flame stories submitted in the past, as well. I wish I had thought about earlier, but when Kristin, our good friend brought it up to me, I thought it was such a good idea. How could I not act upon this? So...we now have the opportunity to leave positive feedback for those Twin Flames who step forward to share their stories with the world. 

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A few days ago, I updated my profile on the Our Story page. Underneath my profile, you will see a section called "About Brendan." In that section, I share a little about what I do in this 3D world and go all the way back to childhood. I have to admit, I was reluctant for quite a long time (since creating this site) about sharing some of this because of what it implies. Trust me, for years I tried to escape it and even rejected it outright because of what I went through. It was like I was side show at a carnival for a few years during childhood :) But, it is what it is...I lived it.

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Hey - I am so excited to see Collapsing Duality growing as it has been. We received another Twin Flame story and I plan on adding that either tonight or tomorrow - when I get back from visiting my luv.

At Collapsing Duality.Com, everybody is welcome to share their story. We are not here to judge whether or not you are Twin Flames. Instead, we'll give you the medium to share your experience with the world so that your story may stand by proof...that divine love is real.

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I also want to thank everybody for the positive feedback to the article, The Divine Order of Creation. Since it is only the first draft I plan on expanding on it more. But, I will be posting that on CD.Ning by request. I thank you for your emailsto and the comments on my page at www.CollapsingDuality.Ning.Com

Speaking of which; Rebecca (Kilianamalaan) has posted some new youtube videos called The Twin Flame Diaries. You may view one of them at our HOME page.

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I am going to end this journal entry with some kind words sent to us by a frequenter of Collapsing Duality.

Pardon the slow reply, as I was overseas for a good week.  Thank you for your reply!  I had been thinking about it, and I just decided to let things be and just continue to have faith.  Your words also made me feel better, so thank you very much!

I really do hope to share with you my-- or rather, our story, one day.  Until then, I shall keep going strong in my journey!

I wish you much more love, light, blessings and health to you, your beloved One, and your family!
Know that both of you are a great source of inspiration, strength, and wisdom to lots of us all around the world. (:

Love, light and peace to you all -
Brendan and Paula


I hope you all enjoyed the recent article I posted. I knew for the past week that I had something to say. I could just feel that it was time to write an article again. Most of what was written was put together (loosely) as I do my jogging routine through the trails at a nearby park that I like to go to, to draw energy, get away for a bit and get a cardio workout.

After writing that article entitled: The Divine Order of Creation
Paula and I have come to the conclusion that there is a mathematical problem with the way things are stacking up in regards to blocks and rows/generations. Here's what we know about The Pyramid of Souls: there are approx. 4 million souls incarnate (noting that not all are indeed incarnate at this time.) We know the exact number of souls in the 1st and 2nd generations and have theories about the 3rd and beyond. Question is, how many are in the 3rd, 4th 5th? If we can figure that out, we should be able to figure out how many rows or generations there are and how many souls are in each row. Or...we can meditate as we have been doing and eventually find that number out anyway. But, I don't think we will have to do that. 

In researching I have found out that Khufu Pyramid in Egypt has 2,300, 000 blocks or 4, 600,000 souls. But, there are only 201 steps or generations. We know that the Pyramid of Souls has at least 1000 generations or 1000 steps. So...what gives??? Perhaps we are not dealing with the likes of a Khufu at all. Perhaps this is entirely different and yet, still symbolizes the Pyramid Soul Family. We know it does because Protilius and Idavathian say it is so.

Yet, we have a mathematical problem to solve, ladies and gentleman :)

I think we also have to keep in mind when the pyramids of Egypt were built which is said to be at about 4,500 years ago. Some say much older than that. But the fact is, much time has passed since they were built. Wouldn't it be reasonable to believe that many many more souls were created since then? If so, perhaps those Pyramids do not represent all the souls in the here and now - today! Think about that one :)

I know this will all fit together like lock and key, but the question is - HOW?

Here is a great link I found while researching pyramid architecture:

 I think I will hold off on posting this article elsewhere until I figure out this mathematical problem because I Want To Get It Right ;)

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Much thanks to Kara and Aaron for posting their recent Twin Flame story. I know that it has received many reads and I enjoyed reading it myself as I created the page for the both of you. Thank You so much!

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Collapsing Duality.Ning is growing by leaps and bounds and am so glad that we decided to keep it up and running. Websites are not built in a day. Collapsing Duality.Com is nearing its 2nd Birthday on 5/30/2010 which = the number 11. 

I remember getting excited to see that we had 15 or 20 site hits and now we receive between 125 and 150 unique hits per day. Our page views have increased dramatically as we are checking in at about 3,250 per week or 13,000 per month - and it is rising, still... So, if 1 unique visitor comes here and they read 3 different pages on, 1 goes to unique hits and the 3 go to page views. That's how it works. The bar graphs show that we will better than double what we did last year. It kind of reminds me of looking at stock charts during the bubble era - everything was up and up! But, there is no bubble to burst here. Paula and I - we burst each others bubbles all day long ;) We have fun doing it and that's really how we achieve balance, LOL!

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We have another story to add to Collapsing Duality.Com. I will begin that either today or tomorrow. So - look forward to that :)

We got to see the house we will be renting and it is beautiful! We got real lucky in this one. The couple are friends of Paula's and they have to move to Alabama because her husband works for NASA. So, rather than renting it out at a high price to an unknown couple, who could do God know what to a really nice house, they decided to rent it to Paula and I at reduced price. There's no other way we could afford it and yet, it has 5 beds, 2 1/2 baths w/jacuzzi and a 3 car garage. It's a new house too! But, there's gonna be some serious lawnmowing to do as it has a large yard and all anybody does with their free time around here is pick weeds and walk down the streets in white robes proclaiming to the God, "Hallelujah!!!"

Once, back when I was in military training in San Diego, CA, at Mission Beach, I saw this guy walking down the beach. He was wearing a white robe and carrying a large staff - like a Gandalf staff. Anyway, every now and then he would stop and declare, "Hallelujah!" My friends and I just chalked it up to all the drugs that were so readily available back in those days - the early 90's.

Anyway, we deffinitely have good luck when it comes to renting. We never mentioned it on CD.Com but the last house we rented on Cape Cod sat on the 11th hole of a golf course. We got that one for a low low price as well. You remember the one we always used to talk about :) The one with all the ghosts and the portal and all that - LOL! Can u imagine a pair of Twin Flames as psychic as we are, in a haunted house with a spirit portal??? I always said it was like Grand Central Station for the spirit world in there. Archamini Amora (the psi attacker) used that spirit portal like Kirk and Spock getting beamed up on the Enterprise. It was ridiculous. But, we laugh about it now. Those were good times :)

I miss that house on Cape Cod. It had 3 beds, 3 baths, a car portal, it was on a golf course and just 5 minutes from the beaches. I especially remember the time I was teaching Kemper how to drive golf balls. In that demonstration, I ended up hitting a 250 to 275 yard shot across the fairway and the ball cleared the tree tops and bounced off the roof of one of the condominiums which a "crack sound." Ohhh yeahhhh - I absolutely crushed it!!! Kemper's eyes lit up real wide and we both ran in the house laughing hysterically.

What I miss the most, however, is the time well spent that Paula and I had at that house. We were sooooo in our element there. We would journey together and take turns journeying, go the beach, go the Witch shop, make love over and over again, go to the restaurant occasionally, all 4 of the kids could be with us there - it was the BEST!!!

That is why, once Paula's surgery is overwith, and because it has been moved back by 2 days, we are going to make sure she gets back to health and we get back to our best - like we were on Cape Cod.

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You may also read some of our articles on Scribd if you haven't found it already. I highlighted the link so that you may find it.

Also, there is a donation tab at the top of the Home Page at Collapsing Duality.Com. That tab is not for CD.Com - it is for CD.Ning. That's just an FYI so you don't get confused or think you need to Donate to both of us.

Namaste -


5/4/2010 or 11:1

We left for the mountains of Eastern Tennessee on Friday night. We arrived about 2AM. There is a farm out there right in the middle of the mountains. Then, just 2 hours and 45 minutes later we heard, "cockadoodle doo." Shortly thereafter, the peacocks joined in the chorus and came down out of the trees to avoid being eaten by the Bobcats. I was still able to sleep to about 9 Am that morning and woke up to Paula making breakfast. The kids were already out in the hen house feeding the chickens.

We went fishing that day down by the river - a short 5 minute walk. We didn't  catch anything but a buzz from the fresh air. All in all it was time well spent. That evening we went into town to get some food. Town is 30 miles away. On our way back it started raining. Little did we know, because we had not bothered to check the weather, that this was just the beginning of a 75 year flood. But, that leading edge of rain, along with thunderstorms, only lasted til the morning. 

The next day, (this past Sunday) we ate breakfast and woke up to a thud sound. We went outside and found that one of the peacocks had taken a liking to his reflection in the side of Paula's car. He liked it so much that he kept ramming himself into the side of the car - causing scratches in the paint! So, we had to cover up the car and put lawn chairs all around it to form a block. So what happens then? The peacock decides to fly up and just hand out on top of her car. LOL

We went fishing that day as well. The river was completely different. With about 2 inches of rain from the previous night and many of the roads washed out, the river had gone from green to brown in just 24 hours. While we were fishing along the banks, we hear a 'BOOM' followed by crash and splash. It was loud. That's when I looked up stream to see a bunch of whitewater. A giant tree had fallen over and was now heading down river. The tree had been weakened due to the flooding rains. As the tree came by, we noticed it must have stood about 75 to 100 feet high. We didn't catch anything that day because the waters were too murky from the washout and the fish were eating flies and insects buzzing around above the water. We were using worms.

I talked to Elloweina once during that trip and she said that we were going to learn something from that trip. I asked her what and she said she couldn't tell us.

Later that day we packed up and headed out, just as the next round of rains were moving in. Passing through Kentucky we hit the real heavy stuff that had caused the floods. We drove by towns that were under about 2 to 3 feet of water. Whole neighborhoods were inundated. It was bad! Yet, not until we got back to Ohio did we learne how serious it was and were actually lucky to have left when we did.

That evening Paula got buzzed. It was Valuna. The first thing she asked Paula was, "what did you learn?" We looked at each other and both asked, "What?"

She said that the lesson we learned while down in the mountains was how to draw energy from nature. She went on to tell us that this is how we are going to get our energy in the future; drawing energy from nature and from loving each other. That will be our food.

Valuna also went on to say that "the time" is fast approaching. We asked her to elaborate and she said she was not aloud to tell us everything yet. But she said that the Earth was spinning faster and faster and that it soon would spin out of control. We asked her if this would cause an end to civilization. She said that it would not be the end but that the Earth wouldn't be the same either.

She told us many things. We asked about Steven and she said we would have to ask Elloweina about that one. She said that Daniel "The Th3" was part of our pyramid and this is why he wants to be part of what is going on. She said he is there to make a mockery and ask all the hard questions because one day he will play an important role.

Paula also found out that Valuna is able to transformer herself in many ways. In fact, Valuna and Willomina are really one in the same - Paula and I just see her differently and hear her in different ways. We are told that we will have some very good news coming shortly. Things will be looking up for us on many levels. We know more but I just don't see the point in putting it out there when we are told so many things and then not all of them come to pass. We will keep you in the loop - as always.

This week I will be adding another Twin Flame story we recently received.

Btw - you guys just keep on keepin' on, because you all are just beating this place over the head. We are experiencing a lot of growth and we thank you all for it.

So...stay tuned! This is ground zero and we are Collapsing Duality :)



April 30th, 2010

Well, I have never given out a "Class Act" award at Collapsing Duality.

This week, that changed when we received a donation from Daniel Morris for our CollapsingDuality.Ning site which is headed by Rebecca.

Daniel made a donation in the amount of $11.11.

Daniel Morris - CD Class Act of April 2010

We appreciate your donation of 11.11 and look forward to seeing you on CD.Ning. Just remember the "big boy" rules and keep it clean. At Collapsing Duality.Com we are not shy about handing out cosmic noogies to those in need :)

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Still no news on my recent conversation w/Ali. I do know that Angel Willomina and Elloweina are both supporting what I heard from Ali in the form of confirmations. We'll let you know when we hear something.

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I am looking into having Twin Flame Day - 11:11 shirts made up. Perhaps this would be a good way to keep up donations and spread the word about Twin Flame Day on the 11th day of the 11th month of every year. Visit our: Twin Flame Day Page.

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I just wanted to take some time to give shouts out to two people who recently signed our guestbook. We thank you, Laura - who is from Florida and Jagoda from Macedonia.

Also want to say thank you to Marie and Tim for sharing their Twin Flame experience.

Find their story here:

Marie, I know all too well how hard it is to have to leave your Twin Flame and the seperation anxiety it causes for both involved. In reading your story that part really stood out to me and brought me back to that time in my life. I vividly recall seperating with Paula after our first times together. I would go into something like a state of shock. That's the only way I can describe it. It took days for me to come back to Earth. In fact, ya never really do after meeting your Twin.

Thanks again :)

Lately, I have mentioned in a few of the journal entries a so-called "new phase," of our path. Paula and I are not entirely sure what this new phase will bring - as the Angels don't want us to know everything right away, but I'm sure it's going to be interesting. We have been getting hints and nudges here and there from the spirit world and some of possibilities that are on the table are quite mind blowing. Will they happen? One can never say. There are only choices.

Don't forget, we have up and running. So...if you are interested in talking Twin Flames, Soul Families and Pyramids in more of a one on one setting, join us!

We also need your donations to help keep it up and running because of the new .Ning policy. Please find the DONATE tab on the home page of


April 29th, 2010

2 things. 

1.) I noticed this morning that somebody is doing some unusually in depth research into Collapsing Duality that goes beyond just reading the site and pages therein.

2.) I was buzzed by Ali this morning while driving in my truck. It was deafening, yet I was still able to figure it out even with the stereo blasting. Anyway, I turned off the radio and heard Ali. It was harder than usual to connect so I verified with Elloweina that this was indeed, Ali. She confirmed it was and so I went back to Ali. I could see glimpses of her 3D self. She was trying to tell me that either her or Paul had emailed or journeyed to Steven and gotten some form of confirmation from him about my journeying to him.

I will be revisiting this journey this evening along with Paula. The both of us plan on verifying what I learned today.



April 27th, 2010

Last night in a journey I asked Elloweina if Steven had gotten all of the information from my past journeys to find collapsing Elloweina smiled at me and said, "B, he's almost got it." Then I asked, "what does almost got it mean?" Elloweina said, "Right now he's just researching the site and putting together what it all means." I said, "You mean, he's found the site???" She said, "Yes B, you did it! Great Job! I am proud of you. Steven has found Collapsing Duality but is researching what you are doing." Then I asked, "Well, do you believe he will email us?" She said, "that's up to him. But, I do know he is planning on it."

So there you have it. The ball is in his court. What happens next is up to him. Personally, I hope he emails us. But, there is much more work to do and many many more people to find to fill the divine order of souls.

Btw - I did journey to Steven today. I journeyed with his higher self but it didn't work out so well. Apparently when I journey with the higher self - acting as one - talking as one - the message comes in like a squeel. So, when I found him in a business meeting and started talking, he cupped his hand over his right ear and had a most stricken look. I realized what was going on because it had happened before in other journeys. So, I seperated from Pamarilius. That's when I noticed him get up from the meeting to be excused. He left the room. I followed him into a bathroom where he could have privacy and not look like he is talking to himself. In that journey I confirmed what Elloweina had told me the night before and indeed, Steven has found collapsing duality and is figuring out what it means.

I also journeyed to Protharus. I have been keeping these journeys as "light" as possible. I attempted to ask him a question but he was busy. So, I then journeyed to Ali and got through to her after about 4 or 5 attempts. I told her to tell Paul about Steven and if possible, email him because he would read an email from them before he would read an email from me.

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Please find the new DONATE tab on the Home page of this site. This donate tab is to help Collapsing Duality.Ning up and running. We have 10 weeks from May 4th before they start charging 25.00 p/mo for the service. So far we have received one donation from Rebecca - AKA - Kilianamalaan - mother to her pyramid of souls. Thank you Rebecca :) After all, you did start CD.Ning :)

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It looks like Paula and I have a really nice house all lined up for us to move into in the middle of May. It's got 5 br's and 2 1/2 baths and is on a culdesac. Wahoo! Now we just got to get past her surgery that is coming up very soon. I can't wait for my luv to start feeling better and to see her smiling eyes beem - all the time!

One thing I forgot to mention in the April 25th entry was that Paula asked Elloweina if there was anymore hurdles for us to go through during this so-called "Next Phase," that we are now in. Elloweina responded by saying, "do you really want to know the future?" I said, "Yes." She said, "well, let's just say for now, some of your experiences you will like and some you will not." I said, "so more hurdles?" She said, "Personally, I think you are strong enough but I don't make those decisions. And B, you know who does." I said, "God." She said, "that's right."

That's all for tonight. My next plan for journeys will be to Anna, John and some follow ups with Steven.

For now, I am going to join Paula and watch episode 9 of season 1 of The X-Files. Netflix rocks!



April 26th, 2010

Don't forget to check out

and JOIN US ;)

Rebecca's latest site:
which offers Twin Flame and Twin Soul related services. Please visit: Twin Soul Unity!

Collapsing Duality also has a youtube site. Please find us at:


April 25, 2010

Journey notes.

3 nights ago Paula's ears rang. She wanted to ignore it because she was in pain. The ringing persisted and she asked me if I could tap into it. I told her that I thought that whoever was calling, was calling for you. So, she tapped into the ring tone and found the 2 angels we just recently aquired and 8 more beings up in the air. They (the 8 beings) were in a circle and spinning around like a merry go round. The 2 Angels were just above them. Then, from down below, a serpent or snake rose up out of nowhere and hung stationary in the center of the circle where those beings were spinning. 

Note: Paula said that this serpent or snake reminded her of the one that I described in my dreams several weeks ago.

Then, the beings suddenly started spinning faster and faster. Just then, the serpent opened its mouth wide as if to strike one of them and WHAMM! The snake just exploded and was gone - Poof!

Note: I knew by the energy and appearance that these Angels had, that they could take care of business and help us out if need be. I now know why I almost dubbed them, "the ass kicking angels."

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I journeyed to Steven on the night of April 22nd after I wrote the last journal entry. 

The intent  or desired level of meditation for this journey was to approach the sleep line and stop just before crossing over into my nightly sleep routine. At this level, I would be able to have the clearest journey but also risk, falling asleep on the person I was journeying to - Steven Spielberg.

I found him in his bed. His wife was present. They were crystal clear in my vision. They were not asleep as all the lights were on. It did appear that they would be going to sleep shortly. Steven was sitting up and seemed to be reading something. I started out by calling to him. It took a few tries as he was immersed in reading and then, when he heard me, he dropped what he was reading and got up on his knees. It was an awkward scene because he didn't really know what to do or react. He told his wife I was there. I asked if he could hear me. He said that he could. That's when I heard Kate tell Steven that she didn't see or hear anything. Then I shifted my focus to Kate. As I focused on her I zoomed in real close to her, just as I had with Steven and I began to ask her if she could hear me now and could she see me now. After a few attempts I heard her say to Steven, I hear him but I don't see him.

Just as I made contact with Kate, I crossed over into sleep and then I suddenly jerked awake. So...I started over. A minute later I was back and they were both talking about what just transpired. I began again with Steven. I asked him if he had a chance to visit the site and he said that he was still trying to make sense of all of this and how it worked. He had his pen and note paper on the bed. Then he went through a series of questions about who I was and who the being was that I called in on that first journey. However, as this was going on, I began to lose the journey once again. I could feel myself slipping and before I knew it, it was 3 hours later. End of journey.

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The next day, while driving in the car, I was talking to Elloweina and I asked her about Paul and how he was doing. Just as I asked that, my right ear rang and I homed in on the origin. It was Paul. I asked him how he knew how to do that. He said he heard me say his name. (From across an ocean I might add). I asked him how he was doing and he said he was a lot better. I told him that Steven Spielberg was part of our Pyramid and to email him if he could. At the time I thought he took me seriously, but only until today, the 25th of April did I realize he did not. We learned that in a channeling Paula did with Elloweina.

Paula started out by asking Elloweina if Steven got everything that Brendan was trying to relay to him. She said that he had a lot of it, but was missing some letters. She said that he was approaching it like a puzzle to put together because he knew that this was real and not his imagination. She said that if Brendan wanted Steven to contact him, he would have to slow down the transmission because even though he is connected with Steven at the soul level, Steven is still not that fast yet. I asked Elloweina if I should go letter by letter with him. She said, "you got it B. I'm afraid you will have to treat the situation like a teacher would approach a toddler just learning how to spell."

Then Paula asked Elloweina about Paul and how he was doing. She told us that he is seeing an occupational therapist and that he suffered fractures in his hands/arms due to what occurred last month. Basically, he is trying to get his 3D life back together before he pursues the pyramids once again - maybe.

We asked Elloweina why we suffered the same deep bruising that he had on his hands and arms. She said that because we spent so much time connecting over the past year we will feel everything he does. The same will hold true with everybody else we connect with going forward.

She said Paul is glad we emailed him back and will email us again when he gets his 3D life back in order.

We asked Elloweina if Paul knew Steven Spielberg was in our Pyramid. She said that when Brendan told Paul this in a journey a few days ago, he thought I was kidding. If Brendan tells him again, he will get it.

Today, the 25th of April, I journeyed to Steven and found him sitting in front of the television. I didn't see what was on, but I know he was snacking on food. I began again by calling his name until he knew I was there. I watched him get up from the couch and find a pen and the same sheets of paper he used in the last journeys. I knew this because I could see the writing. While it wasn't exactly clear, it appeared that he had just about everything I told him to write. However, with the latest news from Elloweina, I decided to take a slow approach. As Steven stood at a table with pen ready to roll, I told him - letter by letter - the website address and email address. I did this letter by letter in journey mode. It took approximately 15 minutes and let me tell you, by the end - I was wiped out from working at such a slow speed. But, if I can make this happen, it will once again prove the point that we are in the midst of miraculous times.

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My homework for tonight is to journey to Paul and Tell him about Steven being in our pyramid. I will tell him to go to the Pyramid of Souls page and Pyramid news page of this site to read about it.


April 22, 2010

   If Angels can talk to people, then why can't people talk to people in the same spirited way that the angels do. 

When I wrote the saying above, I was thinking that if people could get in touch or reconnect with their spirit within, then why couldn't they, as long as they found another person who was in touch with their spirit within, talk to one another the way we talk with Angels or Higher Selves.

Think about it? If we can channel an Angel or Higher Self being, then as long as two people, right here on Earth have reconnected with their spirits, then they should be able to communicate, channel or journey to each other just the way the spirits do with us.

It takes two to carry out a conversation. Question is: will either one of those two, be AWARE enough to recognize that somebody is calling and pick up the phone?

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We have 2 new Angels on the scene. I knew there was one, but Paula has found out there is 2. In fact, I can smell one of them right now. LOL!

One of them is named, Valuna and the other we are still working on getting the name from.

The sudden influx of Angels is due to the recent decision to question the path - which we do quite often around here. We would also hope that you THE READER, question everything as well. It's not just our path - it's yours too!

The numbers 11 11 and 22 are going off like Big Ben around here. The energy is different and quite a bit lighter. I know we made the right decision too. I just know it.

Besides - we have 3 new names that we added to The Pyramid of Souls page on our site.

You can read about how we found them at Pyramid News.

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In regards to the NEW .Ning Policy for CollapsingDuality.Ning.

After talking with Rebecca, it looks like the .Spruz site is a no go because it does not have the same features as .ning. While the recent decision by .Ning is a POOR one, which is an understatement, we do have time to brainstorm. We have 10 weeks from May the 4th before they start charging.

This entry is designed for all of us to brainstorm and post ideas about how we can possibly keep CollapsingDuality.Ning, up and running.

I think we can all agree that there is a GREAT connection between us all, here at CD.Ning that cannot "technically" provide - at the moment! I would hate to see that go away because we have all spent a lot of time - connecting on here.

So...let's put our heads together and figure out a way we can make this happen :)

Please email: with any ideas and/or suggestions you may have.

For now, as a last ditch effort in trying to keep .Ning going, I am playing with the idea of putting up a donations tab either here or at If I can afford to swing it myself, I will do just that! I'll keep you informed.

Thank you - Brendan

Below - is some recent news regarding the .ning policy. I  cut and pasted it from the .ning home page. Please read if interested.


Mythbusters: Three Things We Aren’t Doing on May 4
Posted by John McDonald on April 20, 2010 – 3:30 pm

Since announcing that we are now focusing 100 percent of the company on enhancing the features and services we offer to paying Network Creators and plan to phase out our free service, we’ve received a lot of feedback from Network Creators. We’ve heard from free and paid, business and nonprofit, educators and artists. We’ve been interacting on Creators, reading your comments on the Ning Blog and taking in your tweets. And, we’ve been listening to all of your ideas, suggestions and concerns.

We’ll share all of the details of our new offering with you, including features and price points, on May 4. However, I know there’s been some confusion and a number of rumors circulating about what we will announce and then roll-out in early summer. I wanted to take a minute to let you know three of the things we aren’t planning on doing on May 4.

1.Rumor: “Ning will shut down networks who don’t begin paying for premium services by May 4.” FALSE. You will have at least 10 weeks to evaluate the new pricing structure and make a decision to move to the new paid service. We’ll be announcing the details of our new pricing structure on May 4. We plan to roll-out the new pricing structure in early summer and then give you a transition period to sign-up for the new offering.
2.Rumor: “Only very large networks will be able to afford the new fees.” FALSE. I am confident that many of you, particularly those of you already paying for premium services, will be pleasantly surprised by our new pricing structure. Our goal is to set the pricing at a level which will make Ning an attractive solution for both larger and smaller Ning Networks.
3.Rumor: “This change means teachers and non-profits won’t be able to continue to use Ning.” FALSE. As Jason mentioned in his blog post last week, it’s our goal to have a set of product and pricing options that will make sense for all Ning Networks — even those that have limited budgets. Specifically, we know how many non-profit organizations and educators use Ning, and we plan on offering an option that will make it possible and attractive for them to stay on the Ning Platform.
Hopefully this will ease your concerns (if you have any) and help get you excited about what’s coming up. I’m looking forward to revealing more on May 4 and answering all of your questions then.


April 19, 2010

The distance between the higher self and the physical you, is the distance one must travel to pierce the illusion in order to see through.

The above saying was inspired by something Paul (aka: Protharus) said to me about how he felt his higher self and his physical self were nothing alike or that his HS represented a part of him that he lacked.

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If you haven't heard already, the .NING network has decided to start charging its site builders/creators for url's that were once free. So...Collapsing Duality.Ning will be moving to:

Rebecca is currently in the middle of migrating everybody's profile over to this new site and we'll keep you informed as to when it is done, either here at CD.COM or at CollapsingDuality.Ning.Com

I don't know where the spirituality went recently with the .Ning network suddenly deciding to start charging for something that was free or (even worse) when Gaia decided to suddenly shut its doors. Gaia is where I got started on the net with writing and sharing stories about the spirit world. Back when I joined, it was called Zaadz. Gaia was a huge place where people would go and talk about their paths. Now, it is gone! I only have one question: What the hell is going on???

When Paula and I heard about .Ning deciding to do this, we just looked at each other and grimmaced.

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We have 2 new names to add to the pyramid. This probably shouldn't come as a surprise as this director has been trying to tell us his whole career, that there is life out there. His name is Steven Spielberg.

Paula and I do not give first priorities to either movie stars, directors, rock stars or otherwise... In fact, as we have learned, that dealing with high profile stars can be A BIG PAIN IN THE ASS! Why? Because of ego!


Paula and I have intuitively known that Steven was part of this pyramid, but just haven't had the time to get around to it. With so many requests to find HS names and various other requests, I decided to do this journey on a whim: last minute - just for kicks - who cares either way - whim!

I haven't forgotten about other requests at finding HS names, so do not get discouraged. I didn't forget and you will when I get them :)

I will be doing a Pyramid News Update very shortly so that I can tell you in more detail how it all went down. I will also be adding the 2 new members to the Pyramid of Souls page.

I think you will find this journey, very interesting! Something I have never experienced in a journey also occurred. It was almost comical.

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Paula and I may have a new Angel. I say, "may have" because we are still getting to know this being. Elloweina says she was called in to work with us and is in the Angelic Hierarchy, much higher than Elloweina. Regardless, Elloweina said she will not be going anywhere and that she will still be assisting us.

We first learned of this new Angel the day I got back to Ohio. I sensed her/smelled her. She has literally taken up refuge in our home and Paula and I can find where she is at simply by our sense of smell.

I have seen her on one occasion through journey mode. She looks very powerful indeed!

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Paula and I know that by simply having our story, our pictures and our spirit path out there on the net, that this is going to attract, people with a variety of intents.

We know that there are novice and experienced individuals who journeying and astral travel to us in order to communicate with us for positive reasons. That is okay, but just ask permission when you meditate and buzz us. Many times we are busy with our day to day routines. :)

We also Know that there are novice and experienced individuals who are trying to do us harm. Words of advice: You will find no confirmation (other than this statement) as to whether or not your journeys were accurate. There are many of you. What is more: if the spirit world had not taken pity to the numbers of people who have tried this, becaue of their own spiritual adolesence/negligence, you would find yourselves quickly enlightened!

Paula and I know the difference between an attack and somebody who wants to actually communicate. Whether it be a Higher Self Spirit or novice journeyman who is trying to test out his/her skills. We know this.

Example: If you are novice and trying to test out your skills and use them in a negative way on an experienced journeyman, the spirit world will intervene to protect both parties, but primarily, the negligent one. Why? Because the negligent one, has no idea_____________________! However, if you are experienced and understand how the spirit world really works - or KNOWS BETTER - then that is a different story.

That's all for now :)


April 16, 2010

I'm back in Ohio. Wahoooo!

I actually left right after I wrote the last journal entry. Fooled you didn't I :) Hahaha. LOL! That's how Paula and I work. 

FYI - After I wrote the 4/14 journal entry, I went and Twittered it. That's when I realized that Rebecca, who runs had just Twittered a recent video diary. I looked at the time between them and it was 11 minutes difference between her first Twit and my journal entry.

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All I can say is: WOW! It feels so good to be fed from the love of my life. Even just being away from her for a week, sends my body all off balance. It is the same with her as well. There is such a balance both spiritually and even physically, that when we are seperate (physically) we are not as healthy.

I remember when Paula had to leave last October for Ohio and we knew we would have to be seperated for months at a time. Well, our bodies just sort of fell apart. Not really (as in literally) but our overall health, which we are consciously aware of, drastically declined. Neither of us are anywhere near obesity, but we both gained at least 15 pounds in the first month apart - last year. Then of course, we got sicker more easily and many other things that we didn't have to deal with, when we were together.

Well, it's been like that just this past week. I have only been back a day - day and a half and I can feel my body literally just recuperating from being away from her. 

Basically, this relationship is about feeding each other with love and light.  This is a love that is so pure that when we are apart, we starve for that connection. And yes, I do mean the physical aspect - especially the lovemaking part that is like being caught in the middle of the big bang (no pun.) Experiencing lovemaking at this level and having been apart (even if just for a week) is beyond words. It is Heaven. And in this Heaven, we feed each other. It's all I can do and put into words for now but it is indescribable.


In regards to previous journal entry:

This is a path that Paula and I have taken breaks from before. For those who have been following this site, you will probably not be surprised by the recent journal entry on 4/14. For those who are newcomers and now follow the journal, you may read all about our highlights and lowlights along this path. You can do so by finding them either tucked away in our articles or by reading back through the journal entries. The archive links are on the left hand side of this page and dated.

Paula and I for the most part like to share the positive experiences regarding Twin Flames and every now and then, we share the not so desirable aspects too. There is a song that came to mind just as I wrote that last sentence. It is by Depeche Mode. The title is "Try Walking in My Shoes." 

Anyway, there have been several occasions while we have travelled this path, that have caused us to stop and assess the situation. One of the  biggest ones that we never even wrote about on this site was when we were learning about worship between the higher selves. We have touched upon the worship aspect regarding our higher selves, but haven't really even come close to putting it out there like it really, really is!

While Protilius and Idavathian were showing us how worship is, not just between them, but many of the other higher selves, we ran into just such a scenario where Paula and I decided to take a step back and assess the situation.

During that time, last Spring/Summer while this was going on, Paula and I would take turns going into journey (sometimes together) and experinece and learn how they worship each other or feed each other with love, just like Paula and I do here on Earth. It is this worship that keeps them alive and the pyramid intact as a soul family unit. Note: that last sentence is extremely important. Why? Because this is how we are going to keep each other alive going forward, into the future.

The issues that lead us to stepping back from this path before, began when Paula and I started liking the experiences so much, that she would tell me her experience and then I would do the same and we came to the conclusion that basically, our higher selves are capable at the journey level of delivering sacred sexual experience that neither Paula nor myself could ever be capable of, here in the 3D realm. I know that Paula would beg to differ, but it's how I feel. While we both came back with amazing experiences, I think I had the bigger problem with it than she did. Sure, Idavathian taught us both a lot when it came to worship, but the tales that Paula would come back with, just blew my mind. It may sound silly but basically, I was jealous because I could not do the cosmic things that Paula described Protilius as doing. I have never heard of anybody else describe it either - or even come close to it. Paula had her issues as well, but not nearly as much as I did. It was too much and too soon for me.

After talking about it, (last Spring/Summer) we decided that we should take a step back and look at the situation. I confronted Protilius and almost rejected him altogether. I have written about that before, but I have not shared all the reasons. Even in telling about this latest example, I am still not telling all. Some of those things will never be published either. Anyway, it came to a point where I rejected him (for a time). I thought that I could reject him and that was it. Boy was I wrong! The pain I felt from him was just shattering. I could feel this deep sadness that brought me to tears as well. Our higher selves do have all the same feelings we do. They cry, laugh, love, hurt, yearn - all of it!

The pain that I felt from my own higher self began to get so bad that I couldn't take it any longer and so I had to take down those walls that I had recently put up, so that I could move beyond it. Finally, one day, I journeyed to Protilius while driving in my car and we put it all past us. That was it - I decided that the whole thing was silly and we got back on track with everything and soon, we merged our higher selves with our lower selves. The first day we merged our spirit selves, we knew it was going to happen. It happened while Paula and I were making love.

What is going on now, is a whole different set of circumstances. The difference this time is: many people are being affected by this path. When I say that we are pawns to a grand chess game, I am saying that no pawn is bigger or better, it's just that we are all here for spiritual advancement. In spiritually advancing, we are all evolving and people who you know (even close relatives/family/children) who may not know exactly how this works, are there for your advancement. The Lord works in mysterious ways, but they are not so mysterious to me. Not now. I get it. The answer lies between the conversation I had with, Elloweina and her Angel Self talking with God. I don't like the outcomes to some of what I am hearing and am taking time to come up with another plan. I am also reassessing things. Either way, we can pay it forward, pay it back or pay as we go along. Right now, I am trying to come up with a plan that will make it much easier for loved ones. I don't know what will happen if I cannot, but I am gonna try. You can bet on that.

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Ever since the day Paula and I came together, it's been amazing! This whole path is AMAZING!!! We really did find true love. We have amazing children and are surrounded by light. But, the fact of the matter is: this is also GROUND ZERO!

A reader of the site once asked me via email if he could help me by fighting for us. I didn't completely understand why anybody would have to take up arms for a cause that was spiritual in nature, but I wrote him back some time later. I wrote: by living the love and light, we live the truth. In doing so, you are the BOMB! Both literally and figuratively we are the bombs." What I am saying is this: by simply coming together with your Twin Flame, the love that shines is like a bomb in that it explodes every falsehood that surrounds you and ripples outwards through the lives of everybody you know, then out into the universe. This love is so powerful that it will affect everything from the spirit world to the physical world. There will be signs in the physical world! And, in turn, there will also be a rush of negative energies that will work to extinguish that light that you bring that shines so brightly. Those negative forces will work in very cunning ways and nobody is exempt.

To search for the truth and live the love is to be tried and tried and tried again. Paula and I do not talk about the negatives so much on this site as we probably should. After all, you're going to need to be prepared. Then, just as I say you're going to need to be prepared, I ask you, "haven't you been being prepared all of your lives as it is?" We all have. Just look at the story submissions that come in. Don't they all have very similar sets of circumstances? Haven't we all been tried by seemingly negative forces, again and again??? Well, the fact is, when you find your Twin Flame, those trials will increase and the both of you will need to be very strong. It's going to be hard. Just remember, never let anything break that connection that you have to your Twin Flame and Soul Family. Having the connection to your Twin Flame and soul family is the ultimate test in faith and you will experience it time and time again. It's just the way God works.

This is also, what Paula and I are being tested at again. This time, it's another completely different set of circumstances with different choices to make. What choices will be decided upon are up in the air at this moment. There may be a compromise or deal that can be made but I have to find a way to keep that connection with Paula going - never to be broken!

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Thanks to all of your emails/phone calls over the past few days. We appreciate the support from our readers! I will begin answering some of those emails as soon as I get time. Thanks again :)


April 14, 2010

One more journal entry before I head back to Ohio sometime tomorrow.

It's been a hell of a week. The site is doing great but there are so many things that are "collapsing" and taking toll on loved ones close to me and Paula. Some of the things I am referring to, I have written about here recently (in the April Journal) and some are completely unexpected - New!

I won't be going into detail as to what those things are - not yet! I know how these tests work. And, they are indeed - tests! Cruel ones too...

I have been working more and more with that being whom I can only describe as God. How do I know? Because when I call to God, the same man or being that manifests as pure energy in the image of a man comes through. Elloweina is usually there in these journeys even though I did not ask her to be. I think she just believes that it would help to be there and so she sticks around.

I asked God, "why must another person be afflicted with another illness? Is it not enough, everything that has already happened?"

He did not respond. He appeared agitated and extremely busy with many other things going on.

Then, Elloweina went to him. Things were said that I was not allowed to hear. When she came back she said, "B, it's another test on your love with Paula."

I thought about it for just a moment and suddenly realized that my hunch that I had had all of my life about us all being pawns in spiritual chess game, was correct. I was pissed, too!

That's when I told told God (even though he appeared so busy ) "well, guess what? I am putting everything on hold: the pyramids and all. There will be no more games when innocent people are mare pawns in the test of love."

That's when Elloweina came flying right up to me, looked me in the eyes and said, "B, I'll tell you the correct choice to make..."

But I had had enough and told both of them, "That's it. No more. I want our children to be left alone. There is no compromising. I want my children healthy. I want Paula to be healthy so that we can spend the rest of our days in peace. And, I don't want anybody else affected by these tests of love that you say we are in. I am shutting down any further spiritual progress. Too much heartache has affected too many. People (especially children) are not pawns. In order for us to proceed any further with the pyramids and soul families, we are going to have to change the rules."

Elloweina flew back to that being of light who had manifested his masculinity into the energy, giving the appearance of an old wise man.

Once again, I could not hear what was being said. But, when she came back she said, "It's all on hold. Everything is at a stand still."

I said, "good. I am disconnecting from it all." End of journey!

Up until that journey that occurred 2 days ago, there were many signs that came to me in the form of dreams. No tornado dreams this time, like there was a few weeks back. But, there was the dream of a snake or reptile looking creature that literally came out of the ground and was threatening to eat my children. The neck of this thing was about 15 feet long and had jaws that looked like they could bite through steel. This reptile had me seperated from my children and all I could do was to yell to them, "stay away from the snake, it will it hurt you." As I was yelling to them, because the snake was guarding the door of the house, which seperated us, my children kept trying to find a way to get to me. But, they couldn't.

I remember when I was little I would pay attention to dreams like that. Whenever one would occur, I make a sort of mental note of the night it happened. Then, I would wait to see how the dream would affect my personal life. Back then, for symbolic dreams (ie. tornadoes, tidal waves or snakes) would always take a good month or two to rare their ugliness and come to fruition. Nowadays, the dream happens and then - Bamm!!! There is no longer any lag time to these dreams - no longer any waiting for the boomerang to come back. This is all happening in real time and quite franky, I don't like it.

Many things Paula and I have learned to lead us to this decision. As I said before, I am not going into detail and won't be going into any great depth as to what they are. I have my reasons. Your prayers would be a welcome thing to us. A prayer for happiness, good health and long life will do just fine. That's all I pray for now. 

Paula and I love each other and love what we do. There has just been too much going on. There has been so much taken that we are growing tired of it - exhausted!

While we will keep the site up for Twin Flames, the Pyramids and so forth, will be put on hold until we see where this is going. Since we started exploring the pyramids, there has just been this massive energy draw and all of these things happening. It's time to stop and assess the situation before proceeding - maybe.

In the meantime, keep sending us those Twin Flame stories. That part, we are not putting a stop to.

I will be back in Ohio to spend time with Paula and be with her during her surgery. She has been through too much and is so strong.

All we really want right now is to be happy, healthy and live long lives so that we can enjoy our children.

A note to those of you on the pyramid path. Do not let what Paula and I have going on, interfere with your interest in the pyramids or soul groups and especially, divine compliments! Keep on the path. We encourage it! Have patience and most of all Faith that all will work itself out just fine. We will be back at it, hopefully - very soon :)


April 11, 2010


It's all about the momentum, ladies and gentleman.

I'll tell you why. Each day I check the numbers and several times this week we have had over 50 unique visitors (first time visitors to CD) looking for answers. Those 50 plus visitors came to one page - Twin Flame Signs. This, at the moment would equate to around 1000 to 1250 seekers per month - to that one page alone - and the momentum continues to pick up.

How are they finding Twin Flame Signs? By googling it.

So...what does that tell us. Well, it tells me that more and more people are looking for answers to something amazing that is happening to them. What is that? The discovery of their Twin Flame!

Q: What is the key building component in the construction of a Pyramid of Souls or soul family?A: A pair of "star crossed lovers" or Twin Flames.

The Twin Flame is key. We always knew it was, but now, things are really really starting to happen. With the recognition of ones Twin Flame and realization of the connection they have, this also creates a new web of communication that is being built all around us. The Twin Flames represent 1 building block in a Pyramid Soul Family. As each pair of divine compliments comes to this realization and or connects, a whole new way of life takes form and we may begin to connect with our soul families.

We know what it is like to be so connected with our Twin Flame and marvel at the intensity of the love we share. Now I ask you to imagine the intensity of being connected with your entire soul family? That is where this is going!

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I want to give thanks to Tomo and Willow as well as Patricia and Megan for submitting their recent stories to Collapsing Duality. We appreciate you all sharing your beautiful stories at Collapsing Duality.

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If you haven't found it already, we do have a sister site. You may find it here at:

You may also find the latest video messages from Rebecca at:

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Well, we have found our first person that is part of the 3rd generation of souls in our pyramid. Her real life name is Anita and her higher self name is Idalanion. Anita is aware of her soul relation to Paula and I and has been informed of her Spirit Name. I have not journeyed yet to meet Idalanion, but it is definitely on my to do list.

Please find her name amongst the Pyramid Souls, HERE.

Please also read about her on Pyramid News, HERE.

Welcome to the pyramid Anita :)


As the latest pyramid that we've found is headed by Rebecca, the plan is to add a page for that pyramid as new names come in. This page will be similar to the one at: Pyramid Of Souls.

April 9th, 2010

If your ego ain't screamin' UNCLE, then you ain't the Mac Daddy! Take time each day to show who is really in charge ;)

As I was wrapping up the latest article entitled Journeying, I got to thinking a lot about ego and the role it plays. That is when the above saying about the ego screamin' uncle came to mind. It's funny because all I can see is Jim Carrey wrestling with that shark in that movie and screamin' "Say Uncle, Say Uncle!" LOLZ


Just wanted to give shouts out to Spooki, Zach & Bailey and Rebecca. There are many more, but can't think at the moment!

I am so psyched that Zach posted his story. If you haven't noticed, there's not too many guys that are willing to step out and share this kind of story. Yup, the ladies are at the forefront of this spiritual evolution. However, it takes a lot of guts to do such a thing and put words in such a way as Zach has done.

I also wanted to comment on one thing that really stuck out in Zach's Twin Flame story. He wrote about how only Bailey could take down those "walls." Zach, I know exactly what you mean. Paula was the only one who could do the same for me :) Amazing, is it not? Ha!


Another thing I wanted to mention is that Rebecca has been such a wonderful "CONFIRMATION" for Paula and I. Paula and I watch her videos and read what she is doing CollapsingDuality.Ning. While Paula and I can find the higher selves of anybody on the planet, tell you your spirit name and even what generation or pyramid you are from, from that point on, it is really up to you.

Watching the latest information that Rebecca brings, gives us great confirmation. How? Because there are so many things that she has found, ALL BY HERSELF, that Paula and I have discovered as well and not even written about them yet. That is how we know she is hitting her mark and doing so with great accuracy. Rebecca - there is no possible way that you could be describing what you are describing without actually having journeyed there. And that you have! Great Job!

For quite some time, we thought for sure that Paul (aka: Protharus) would be that first real great confirmation. We have done amazing things together. For instance, never meeting him, then contacting him (his physical self) telepathically and asking him to email us and then receiving that email to our in box was mind blowing and a confirmation in itself.

As I always say, "telepathy is the ultimate in the latest of wireless technology."

Rebecca, however, has probably been our greatest confirmation.
So, we just want to thank her and please, give us another video :) We are waiting :)


Well...I arrived back in Massachusetts earlier this week where I have been spending time with Eryn who is now out of the hospital. I talked with the doctors at Mass General Hospital and got the lowdown. Her doctor said that what happened to Eryn was 2 things: 1 - she came down with a bug and that infection raised her keytones really high. 2 - the hose that attaches to her stomach from her insuline pump got kinked, thus her blood sugars sky rocketed. These two things combined put her in the hospital.

I have been spending time with both of my children, Eryn and Molly. It was priceless to see Eryn's eyes light up when I came back to town. They beemed with hope and love. Molly on the other hand, got sick with what Eryn had in the previous days and is now just recovering as well. Poor thing, all she could do was lay on the floor moaning. They are both characters, my daughters. Eryn is 11 and has posters all over her wall with Justin Bieber and the whole cast of the Twilight series. I have been helping her transfer songs onto her ipod while I am home. One of the songs she requested was, "boom boom pow" by the Black Eyed Peas. I looked at her and said, "you better slow down girl." Hehehe

Molly on the other hand is still only 3. So, she's got some time before she starts having the teen heartthrob thing going on. I'll tell you a story about her. 2 summers ago, Molly was toddling around. It was warm and the slider door was open. Well, a great big green praying mantis flew inside the house and landed on her arm. Eryn and I couldn't believe it. Molly started crying because the mantis wouldn't budge. Finally, it flew off and landed on the curtains. Then, it flew back to her and this time landed on her leg. We were all amazed with the exception of Molly who started crying again. The mantis later took refuge on the ceiling before departing altogether. It was a funny thing to watch. 

Today I will be doing a change out of Eryn's insuline pump equipment.

Wish me luck :)

After that, I am going to concentrate on the latest Twin Flame story submissions and update the Your Story page. We have 3 or 4 new story submission to publish, so we're gonna be rockn n rollin'

Oh yeah, one more thing. I just wanted to thank Bailey for sending us an email with so much helpful information about diabetes. I can't thank you enough. It meant a lot! TY ;)


April 7th, or (11) 2010

Here's a little something I had been working on b4 I left.

Q: What is the key building component in the construction of a Pyramid of Souls?A: A pair of "star crossed lovers" or Twin Flames.

Did you know? While there is a single pair of divine compliments as mother and father to each pyramid, there are many mothers and fathers within each pyramid. However, it is that first pair who are referred to as "The Original of The Species."

Q: How is a soul pyramid built?
A: From top to bottom. By reconnecting with your higher self above we are afforded the honor of finding the rest of our soul family, below.

Did you know? Did you know that while we have commonly referred to the pyramids in terms of oldest and youngest in terms of 3D space and time, what we are really referring to, is the divine order in which they were created!

Q: How are light children created between people of the pyramids?
A: By touching their palm chakras together while standing at arms length, they will it to be so. Voila!

Q: While light children are created with the love from the palm chakras of a pair of divine compliments, is there a need for sex?
A: Sex between either divine compliments or soul kin of a pyramid soul family is common but they do not call it sex. People of the pyramids refer to sex as one of the many ways of divine worship.

Q: What is that selenite looking material that the structures and pyramids of The Plains are built from? A: Stilsil :)

Q: Why do we see the ancient Egyptians as sometimes dawning the mask or head of either a bird or a beast? A: Because they are representing their Higher Self totem. Like the power animal is to our 3D or lower spirit self on Earth, the totem is to the Higher Spirit Self in Heaven.

Q: Can divine compliments, when they incarnate, be of the same sex?
A: Yes! We have all had our turn at being the boy, the girl, the woman and the man, throughout our souls journey. Sometimes we have crossed paths as same sex and sometimes in the opposite.

Did you know that when we first begin to astral travel, we travel in lower self form? In other words: we travel looking just as we do in the physical. Then, upon finding the higher self, if we so desire, the lower/higher self merge takes place, the two combine and neither will look the same again.

Q: What is the reason for our Higher Selves to breathe life into or incarnate in the 3D realm that is Earth?
A: For the souls experience (and I quote Protilius) "to bring back life force."

Q: What are the roles of the Angels in the Pyramids.
A: Angels work between the pyramids and help keep the balance throughout. Their job is probably the most vital one of them all in that they are ambassadors and work to maintain peace between all higher selves.


April 4th, 2010 or (11)

When the Angels talk, I listen. Sometimes they are correct in telling me about future endeavors and sometimes they are wrong. The future is maleable and so, technically, they are never really wrong after all. Right??? All the angels do is guide us when we come up to that 3 or 4 way intersection in the road we are travelling on and tell us, "Ya know what, Brendan, If I were you, I'd take a right at the intersection - that is the direction you will find most rewarding." However, the future is not set in stone and therefore, the angels themselves cannot be blamed when the shit hits the fan. Nobody is really to blame, not all the time. It's not about a Witch hunt to find out who did what wrong and why. It's about how we adapted to the adverse situation when suddenly we were confronted by it.

The past few days have been extremely hard on both Paula and I. In fact, Kristin, with whom we talked to just the other night on the phone even noticed. I know you did Kristin ;) Hey - thanks for being there, too :)

Anyway, when Angels talk - Brendan listens. I'll tell you why. About 3 weeks ago now, I made a journey (without telling Paula) to Elloweina. Paula and I had been feeling something was coming. I was plagued by dreams of tornadoes. Whenever I dream of tornadoes, something big is about to affect my life either directly or indirectly. I've written about many times before.

Anyway, I asked Elloweina about those dreams of destruction. Elloweina said, "Brendan, Paula is much sicker than she even knows."

When Elloweina said this to me, I began to connect the dots. Remember - within 6 hours of arriving here in Ohio, (2 months ago) Paula was admitted to the hospital where she stayed for days. Nobody could find anything wrong with her. Now, we learned just within the past week that she is going to have to undergo surgery.

I didn't tell Paula about what Elloweina had said until the doctors told her about the upcoming surgery. I was baffled. I didn't want to believe it. But why wouldn't I? I always believed everything else they said.

During that same journey, just after Elloweina said that Paula was sicker than she even knew, I learned another thing.

Elloweina said, "the two of you are going to be pulled apart for awhile. You are going to be seperated for a little while."

Note: when I journey, I do not connect empathically. I journey as an observer. This is a trait I inherited by learning remote viewing. In other words: by journeying as an oberver, from an observer stand point, I am able to escape the empathic connection that such words would surely have rattled me to the inner core. What words? That the two of us would be seperated again.


In journey mode, this is where Paula and myself differ. Paula goes deep and connects all the way, whereas I journey from an observer stand point, take notes and then come back to this site to tell about them.

However, the news that Elloweina delivered about Paula and I  being split apart again, bothered the hell out of me. I didn't tell Paula about this either - not right away - not until I took Paula to the emergency room just a little while back. On the way home in the car, I came clean and told her what Elloweina said about her being more sick than she even knew. When I said this to her, Paula looked at me and said, "that's not all she told you is it."

I looked at Paula and said, "no, there was another thing." And I told her that we were going to be split again. She looked at me baffled and neither of us could figure out what that could mean. Besides, I was here to stay and nothing could change that, right? That was until two days ago.

Two days ago, my 11 year old almost died because of complications from being a juvenile diabetic. She spent 2 days in intensive care where they helped her to regulate her keytones and stabilize her blood sugar.

When I lived in Massachusetts and was there with her, that never happened. Why? Because I micro managed her disease! Eryn almost died. I cannot let that happen again. You (the reader) may wonder about her mother and where she was and why she couldn't get it under control, but the bottom line is: Brendan can get it under control and I cannot let this happen again - ever! Eryn's mother has done the best she can humanly do with this disease. I have even tried certain healing techniques to deal with it, but have been unsuccessful in doing so.

When Elloweina said that we would be seperated again, I never dreamed it would be the near death of my oldest daughter that would be the catalyst.

Eryn's condition is much better at the moment. They discharged her last night. She is home. But I may not get another chance if this happens again - and there won't be another "again." I can't let it happen because I love my children just as I love Paula.

Everyone in my life is getting sick and so much is going on. I don't know where to turn anymore.

On one hand, I want to be with my Paula. On the other hand I want to be with my Eryn. I love them and these things are just dogging us right now. There is so much going on, I can hardly stay focused at work anymore.

For now, the plan is to go back to Massachusetts to help regulate and or micromanage Eryn's blood sugar. It's going to take time. My little ones need me and I have to help them, I will help them! Not helping is not an option for me.

There are a lot of other signs that have happened this week to have lead me to this decision. Let's just just say, that they are everywhere.

The decision to go back to Massachusetts began last night. Paula and I talked about it throughout the day today. We cried, throughout the day today. 

This afternoon, we went to the banks of the Miami River in S. West Ohio and  layed together - side by side in the grass and just held each other.

Paula said that no matter what happens, she'll be here and waiting.

I said, no matter what, I'll never give up.

We wonder if this next seperation will kill us. The last seperation which lasted 3 months, almost did.We're just regular people you know. Just because we are are mother and father to the oldest pyramid of them all, it doesn't mean that our 3D lessons we are meant to learn, are not from the same spiritual book that was written by the hand of God.

We are all on this same path together. Some of us are pyramid people, some are angels and some I have heard, are even faireies (which I have not run into yet) but the bottom line is, we're all in the same boat together.

The more we come together, the people of the pyramid soul families, the more we will feel the new "one mind set." This is the future. The mother of all feats to achieve with realization of the pyramid soul families is: how to achieve balance within them. That is the goal!

I you have read anything about how hard it has been for Paula and I to achieve any sort of balance with Paul and Ali (Protharus and Idagordava) then you will see how hard this can really be.

The Twin Flame experience and merging of your halves, is just the beginning of the path back to finding your soul family and inevitably - back to God.

Paula and I are not giving up. We will be here and this site is not going anywhere.

For now, there are little hearts and bodies that need to be healed.

I love you Paula. I know you understand. But your heart hurts.

Just know this Paula - I AM NOT GOING ANYWHERE! We maybe seperated by distance for a short period of time, but my love will never change for you - EVER!!!

Major things are going on. Just watch the TV (which we really ever do.)

Some (from the old school) would even say that the Devil is busy. I heard that last line, just today.

I would just say that we have to work together to achieve balance.


April 1, 2010

Just checked the lastest hits for the day and we have 111 hits.

Paula says: and that's no April fools joke! 


Collapsing Duality...Journal   April/May of 2010