Collapsing Duality...Journal

Copyright © 2008, 2009 & 2010 - by Collapsing Duality


Happy Halloween!!!

Just wanted to wish everyone Happy Halloween. I posted a video favorite of mine and Paula's at the top of this page. You can find it HERE as well. This was a great Halloween movie - and an oldie! Paula and I were very amused because neither of us had seen this since we were kids - back when the creature features were big in the late 70's.

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I wanted to thank our latest Twin Flamers that have submitted stories. Thank you: Apple and DariTracy and Don & Anonymous poster.
Thank you :) I enjoyed all of your stories very much. 

It's interesting because, nothing  happened in October as far as Twin Flame story submissions until this past week. Then - Bamm!

Either way - Paula and I thank you for sharing your experiences because they are your stories and will also help many who are either searching for Twin or in the middle of a TF relationship.

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I was going to start reworking the Profiles page where people can submit their stories to us, but all  of a sudden it's gotten busy again. On the profiles page, I used to post all previous stories by month and year. Those stories can now be found on the Your Story page and each time a new story is posted here, it will be posted to the Your Story page and remain there.

As far as the profiles page goes - I plan on taking some time and going through past story submissions to that one question I asked: 

If you were the webmaster of this site, what is one question you would ask, that you did not see here?

I think it would be a good idea if I went through and hand picked a few responses to this question and create a sort of User Generated Section of questions, made possible by those who have submitted here in the past. I think it's a great idea. Whatayou think?

This should be the last journal entry before I retire this page and begin a new 3 month journal period. 

I also posted an interesting new hit counting widget at the bottom of the SIGNS page. This widget will count all hits and the country of origin on that one page alone. It does not include hits to other pages. Check it out!

That's all for now :)



10/24/2010 or 10

I added some new vids to the home page and journal page. Hope you enjoy 'em. We have, The Warrior by ScandalCuts You Up by Peter Murphy and Flower Child by the one and only - Lenny Kravits. I love Kravitz - he rocks! However, I saw Peter Murphy back in either 1989 or 90 in Boston. He played at Avalon. My friend who worked at a college radio station got us in and front and center. It was incredible. Peter Murphy commanded the crowd and his bassist, was insane! One of the best concerts I've ever been to, next to U2, The Cure and The Pogues. Yup, I saw the Pogues, Pogue Mahone (which is Gaelic for "Kiss My Arse") was great until my friend went crowd surfing and did a face-plant. Nobody caught him. I will always remember when the lead singer of the Pogues asked the crowd how we were doing. At that age I was quite outspoken. So...when he asked us how we were doing and the crowd was strangely silent, I yelled (very loudly,) "Pogue Mahone!" The lead singer looked at me, his eyes all big and said, "yes, exactly!)

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I just wanted to give shouts out to Rex Darcy who I have been talking with. I want to give shouts out to Kristin, Jagoda and Janine. Janine wrote a wonderful poem about her Twin Flame over at CollapsingDuality.Ning. Great job girl :) I loved it! Deep n from the heart.

Want to give shouts out to Rebecca :) AKA - Kilianamalaan. Rebecca, I read what you wrote on Twitter. You always shoot from the hip and I respect that, because I know where you're coming from. You hang in there too. We are family and connected! I know I totally enjoy being in this existence knowing that I share it with you and so many others. Without the internet, where would be? The time is right and with the internet, we have the greatest opportunity ever to make it happen. Even when the internet goes away... it'll be too late. We'll know how to spirit journey and there will be nothing they can do about it. It'll be too late. It'll be a struggle, though. That's for sure.

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Well, I'm going to end this journal entry with something that started in an email to Rex - Shouts out to you my friend Rex :) Rex and I have talking via email and he is definitely journeying. He has many angels and possibly a higher self he has been communicating with. Great job you are doing, Rex!

Here is a piece of advice I offered in an email I wrote (not verbatim) to Rex:

Rex - I like to think I have handle on the Twin Flame thing. Fact of the matter is...there is no expert. It was all designed this way - by God. God gives us all the tools we need and without directions. That is how we know life was intended to be experimental. Kick the tires! Laugh when you screw everything up and pat yourself on the back when you do good (which I prolly don't do enough of) but Paula does that for me.

The last statement was inspired by Paula and something she received in a journey to God. God said, "I give you all the tools you need and it is up to you to learn how to use them."

Great job, most beautiful! We get to teach each other along the way :) and... learn from God.

More about what I said to Rex - 

Look at it like this: if somebody (like a teacher) gives you a store bought model of say...The HMS Invincible, and purposely withholds the model glue and directions (containing the step by step know how) on how to build that battleship, we would either think the person to be some kind of jerk or a hooligan with a wicked sense of humor that doesn't know anything about model building at all. That's most likely the first thought and most of us wouldn't attempt to even build the model in the first place. Why? Because we have been taught that everything we do, comes with a set of directions! Yet...if we have faith we are dealing with God, and believe IN GOD...we will likely take another look at all the peices in the box which (in this analogy) really represent us and how much we really have left (of US)... to put back together again.

one more thing...

Kristin from CollapsingDuality.Ning thought it would be a good idea for me to share something I wrote at that site, on this site :) So... here it is. This is in regards to Twin Flames and Soul Mates and who is what. This was a response to a great question that Jagoda asked:

Hi Jagoda :)

Glad that you chimed in on here :) The closer you are in the structure in your soul family, the stronger the feelings will be. A soul mate in the same generation will set all your alarms off. A soul mate in another generation will set alarms off, but with lesser intensity. A Twin Flame relationship will knock you on your ass - if you're not ready for it! We are all connected more or less to varying degrees depending on our soul family structure, what we are doing actively in the 3D to get back to God and hopefully, eventually, realize we're all one :)

If I were you, I'd try and learn as much as I can from this experience and understand it. If you feel something is "fake" or wrong about it, step back and re-assess the situation. Stay safe, too!

Jagoda - never stop asking all of your wonderful question! I don't care how far away you live from me - we're connected! And... I'm glad to help you in any way I can.

that's all for now.


10/22/2010 :)

Paula is spearheading a new tale of journeying as of late. She's been getting buzzed all day by a new pyramid person. I am going to let Paula tell this (if she has the time because she is so busy with 2 jobs) but for now, I will give you the scoop.

Paula was buzzed and she knew it was a new ring tone. When she tapped into it she found a woman of about 30 years of age???  that kept saying over and over again, "My name is Stacy and I know you can hear me." Paula said that she wore huge rings (bling) and there were statues in her house - very large ones! She had fairly long dark hair.

Paula told me about this earlier today and I told Paula when I got home, I would see about this person for verification. Anyway, I went home early from work because my boss told me I looked like shit. He was right. I have not been sleeping well because of so many 3D things going on right now.

I got home and journeyed to this "Stacy." I found the same things as Paula did in regards to looks and surroundings. I know more...but will wait for now. I asked her if she would like to tell me how it is that she lives so well and gave her the option of telling me or I find out for myself anyway. She told me.

I asked her how she knows of us and she said that it was because of our website. I asked her why she journeyed to Paula. SHe said she wanted to connect. I asked her how she wanted to connect. She said that she wanted to experience our love that we share.

This evening Paula was buzzed again and she found out the last name of this person. It is Ferguson. That's what Paula got. And...she is apparently in California.

Great Job, Paula and Stacy. Let's show the world it's real... shall we :)

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After, I journeyed to Stacy, I went into a deep sleep and ended up being lead by the ghost of a young man who felt it very important to show me how he was murdered.

Do you wonder why I don't sleep??????? LOL!!! OMG! It never ends.

Anyway, he showed me everything. It's too graphic to even describe. In a nutshell, the boy was murdered by a priest. The ghost of this boy walked me through - Literally walked me thorugh, step by step of how it all happened.. After he walked me through, he then showed me why the priest did it. It was because the priest was tormented by a ghost, himself. I can't remember the names of anybody because I was so deep in this sleep, but it was quite disturbing and it felt even worse.


Paul is also in my dreams quite a bit. I don't know if he has chosen to communicate to me more in my dreams or not, but Paul, if you are reading this, take note: Brendan is not sleeping well and if you journey to me and find me asleep, come back when I am awake.

Brendan is very sleep deprived right now and it is affecting his health and well being.

Please understand :) Thank you

Oh more thing. We added a guest book to the Signs page of this site and we received our first guest book entry. Check it out!


10/16/2010 or 11

Quick Note:

I just added a guest book for the Twin FLame story by Eugenika and Adam. I have been frequently getting requests with no dialogue in them, and this is strange. Basically, I am getting story submissions to this story and there is no text. Today - it happened twice. Anyway, I decided to add a guest book, hit the publish button and when the updated page came up, google said that we had 1111 hits in the past 7 days to our site (not including stealthware hits.) Not only that - the time was exactly 9:11 PM. What is more...the date, when added up, is another 11 - todays date of 10/16/2010 or 11

That is amazing!

So, go sign their guest book :) It's all about the 11's with Eugenika and Adam and I am compelled to act on this.

This is most definitely a sign.



The River of Eternal Life
by Brendan

There is a river that flows
Not into an ocean and not into a sea
But flows between the earth and sky
Filling the vastness of all eternity -

All through the layers of our beingness
From God; to our Higher Selves; to you and me
The river flows into our souls
Irrigating our hearts with sacred spirituality -

There is a river that flows you know
And it is not one of water, but one of love
Carrying with it from the ethers to the earth
Straight from the source, the light of God above -

Whereby our thirst for divinity may be quenched
By a river of oneness that is teaming and rife
For to drink from the pool that is fed with the flow
Is to drink from The River of Eternal Life.

I just wanted to share this here on CD.Ning first. I hope you all like it. It rings a bell with me. Matter of fact, I tried to take a nap the other day and suddenly the first two lines in the first stanza came into my mind. Every time I layed down to nap, more of the poem kept coming in and so I just kept writing it down until I had "The River of Eternal Life."

Namaste -



I found the following 2 pictures while researching pyramid mathematics. In doing so...I found the sierpinski triangle. This is exactly what I have been trying to describe in how our soul families are put together and all linked. As you can see - there are pyramids within pyramids.

Here is the link:


10/9/2010 or 11 11

Well... we received a great story from someone telling about their Twin Flame story, but we can't publish it because it is just unfolding. Thank you for your story submission and keep us informed of how it is going :) If you wish to have us publish your story, just let us know.

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BTW - sorry for venting in my last entry. I guess I'm just dissapointed with the way things are going. Many of the frustrations have nothing to do with this path at all - exterior factors like: money, bills and all that other stuff that drives us nuts. :)

We were supposed to be in verbal contact with Paul by now, but with our busy schedules and working shifts (Paula) we have missed his calls on at least 5 different occasions. Not once, not twice....but 5FIVE5 TIMES! (hey, that last line reminded me of the movie Ferris Bueller's Day off. Remember when the principal - Ed Rooney was going over Ferris' sick days? LOL) Haha :)

Anyway...each time we missed the call, I'd stop and think that something strange was going on. Time itself didn't seem right. Time was strange/slow. That's the only way I can describe it.

You can't imagine how eager I am to hear his voice in the 3D. I know what it sounds like in journey mode, but I'm ready for the real thing :) So is Paula.

I also mention quite often that there is much more to the story that I don't share. Paul and I have a bit of an understand about this. I have bent my usual ways of telling about our story to protect him. However, I will never stop leaving my usual trail of popcorn :)

He does the same thing. He's constantly leaving a trail of popcorn.

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I'm still writing but am constantly getting sidetracked by exterior factors and worries. And, there are plenty of worries right now, but like I said, it's exterior factors that I can't change and so I just take them as they come.

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Several days ago, Paula and I were watching a movie and I had a vision. I never know when they're gonna happen and sometimes (most of the time) if nobody is there to snap me out of it, I don't remember much of the visions at all. But...Paula noticed that my eyes looked like saucers and my mouth was hung open and then she felt a sudden rush of panic and pain. So...she shook me and I came right out of it. She looked alarmed.

I thanked her because I remember exactly what I saw in  that vision. I saw VERY CLEARLY a man, probably 60 years old and he couldn't walk. He was wearing something I've seen before that looked like a one-piece gown that gave me the sense he was very religious. The gown was red and had gold colored designs/buttons. He also had his head shaved and no, it wasn't because he was older.

Anyway, he was crawling...using his arms to come to me. When he finally got close enough, he reached out and I held his hand. When we made that contact, I could feel his pain and needs!

That's when Paula shook me.

I am still journeying but Paula is just now getting over a sickness. She's run down from working all these crazy day/night hours that she has to, to help put the bread on the table. So...I just rub her forehead and bring her ice cream. I LOVE THAT BEAUTIFUL WOMAN :) She's the best!

This afternoon I journeyed and followed up with Paul's mate who buzzed me earlier in the week. We talked for about ten minutes so that I could feel what he thought about this path and get a sense of where Paul stands. He is a very good communicator and very real to talk with. I have a feeling we're going to connect very well!

After that, I got an idea to go to Protilius and Idavathian and ask them if they could make a UFO appear in the back yard. I got the idea because I was watching tv and saw a special about how people photograph ufo's. LOL! Anyway, I asked them (for the hell of it) and they both started laughing. They looked at each other in unison and literally started laughing. Naturally, I started laughing to. Idavathian's face was priceless. I asked them why they were laughing and they said that, that's not what they do. First of all they don't need a craft to fly in and secondly, that's now how proof of life out there is supposed to be presented to the world.

So...I asked them if they had a broom stick that they could fly in the Nimbus Two Thousand that Harry Potter used and then I heard a whole lot of laughter - not just from Protilius and Idavathian, but the others. LOL! That question didn't get answered. But hey, as long as they know I still have a sense of humor ;)

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Hope you enjoy the new videos. I usually just change up the videos on the journal page and home page :) The music range is all over the place because Paula and I - like a little of everything :)

That's all for now -



I've never seen it rain fish but if I could ever come up with an anaology that would most closely describe what is going on in our lives it would have fish involved in it - maybe even squid or whale sharks or jelly fish ;) 

Which reminds me: we used to have jelly fish fights as a kid growing up on the beach. They hurt when they hit your back! One time we got a Man O War and we all ended up at the doctors office. LOL! Funny now, but not then ;)

Back to what I was saying. No, I'm not going into another venting session because that is so old at this stage of the game - and the game (if we would compare it to a 9 inning major league baseball game) would be at about the seventh inning stretch. Only - that game which is really another word for spirit path is a very REAL and SERIOUS game that can decide many things for many people. And Yahweh/God/I AM - is watching very closely. Yahweh is even acting in real time, now! Can you believe it? Yahweh, is right on top of this and I am observing that the oneness that is Yahweh is acting accordingly to our follies.

I am not mad that there are weaknesses in the link. I too know what it is like to have shortcomings. I'm a regular person - no different than you! I am not afraid to post it (but, boy, if you really knew what we've experienced) but I won't. The world does deserve to know and some of you, like Rebecca are MAKING IT HAPPEN! Wonderful job my friend, you are doing it :)

It is apparent we are still in the breakdown phase of the ego. Otherwise, we would have pulled off the miraculous.

Brendan is ready. I AM I AM I AM I AM I AM

I have told you recently that the time is close. I've told you this because certain people have certain jobs to do in the spiritual scheme of things and are for whatever reason - not coming through. My journal entries are based on what they tell me via journey mode. However, there is still obviously ego involved because the differences in email words and journey words are - DIFFERENT - just a bit. But...WE are still in waiting.

Real people (like Paula and Myself) what we write here, we could tell you straight to your face. That is what hurts us about what we are dealing with. Why does this have to be this way? 

Understanding God, really, for the first time since my parents twisted my mind with denominations, I can say that God, Yahwah and/or the I AM is the real deal and does have A PLAN!

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In my 3D life I am still working that same job. I work in an office with testosterone filled men who cannot really figure out who the fuck they are. Sometimes, only when they ask, I give them advice but then they resort back to the same thinking. Whatever. I choose to let them make their own decisions, rather than make their minds up for them. When they cross me, I get frank and even, BLUNT! Even if I tried, they'd still make the same mistakes because there is free will. The same goes with the majority. Day will break on Marblehead. That is a given - whether or not we choose to recognize that, is up to us. Trust me - I have plenty of marble ;) I am very hard headed. So is Paula. didn't hear that from me ;) But I love her. I LOVE HER DEEPLY to the CORE!

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Today, Paula is sick. She is worn out as I am. I think this is part of what is going on. I worry about her a lot because she is so empathic and this game that is  being played is wrong! Why? Because it is hurting her! Yes, she is human and has her fears as we all do, but there is an element of fear and even, trickery going on and GOD (YAHWEH) KNOWS IT!!! There will be repurcussions to this, too.

I'm telling you right now, and I am not pointing fingers. I write this GENERALLY speaking because the person who this is intended for, will KNOW who it is for. My message: time is very short not just for you - but for us too. The world will go on with or without us, but we have a path and if the connection is not made - our reason for being here will have passed. Therefore, our time is up. a gentleman would say, "Good day."

If I could have cut this connection I would have. But...God has given us a gift and the fact is - there is fear and other thoughts is screwing it up! Do you know how this makes me feel??? I get THE BIG PICTURE! I understand how important this is and yet, more politics and bullshit excuses! Paula and I know what we see in journey. We know what is what. We are not fools and will not be fooled!

That's why I'm glad The I AM brought Paul's good mate into this. I wrote about him in the 8/11 journal entry on this page. He buzzes us quite often now. His buzz or call sign when he tries to communicate with us is different than Paul's and Ali's. Paul's is a buzz. Ali's makes your hearing going out and his (Paul's mate) makes a hollow sound - like blowing across swigger of a beer bottle. Wheewwwwhhh!!!

He buzzed me today as did, Paul and Ali. We know you are buzzing us my friend :) GOOD JOB! While I am usually at work, I cannot find the peace of mind to make good conversation with you, have patience because I will make it for you later. We have much to talk about :)

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Barb and Esta - Your story is beautiful! Thank you :)





2 things: first, I would like to congratulate Rebecca Huggins for landing an article of hers in a very popular UK magazine. And...she's going to be talking about Twin Flames, Higher Selves and much more... As you may well know, her higher self name is Kilianamalaan and is first mother to her own pyramid. Rebecca has asked if she may use Collapsing Duality as a reference and we have given her the go ahead.


So...Congratulations to Rebecca Huggins! Well done, Kilianamalaan! :)

I will let you know when that article is published when Rebecca tells me so.

Secondly, I Just wanted to share a recent guestbook submission by Maria from Ontario, Canada.

Thanks for making this site :) I have been told why I'm here...although I journeyed to a very deep place to be told why, and it is to simply love. I knew I was different from the beginning. I've searched many sites and this one is really great, because there are real experiences posted, and it's great to know that we're all connecting. A few months ago I had a dream where a very large beautiful tiger came and put her paw on my forehead and showed me his face, my twin. Although that wasn't the first dream I had of him, this was confirmation I guess. I'm 21 this November. This year I knew I would finally connect with him, I've got butterflies just typing this lol. Sorry for the ramble, again thanks for putting this site up! I may have not met you both, but I love you always, and remember to love and stay connected and keep up the great work!

Thank you, Maria -
Love Brendan and Paula



Lately I've been trying to get back in touch with that artistic side of myself through the medium of poetry. I've written lots but until now, I did not have anything I felt worth sharing.

The three, five line stanza poem I will share is not yet done because it can be expanded so much further. For now...I'll share what i believe to be quite solid about it. Here we go -

The Visionary

Vision - when bolstered by one's spiritual intent
Sets free the fledgeling dreamer to fly
For when we inject with will, spiritual intent
Into a postive vision for all of mankind
The Visionary becomes one with the earth and sky -

And with this oneness between the above and below
The visionary turns enlightener to all hamanity
For heights men previously thought unreachable, 
The visionary folds the space dividing our perceptions, 
So that we may bridge the gap to eternity -

Through seeing, the visionary traverses all dimensions
Impregnating the dreamer who will one day give birth
For the seeds of his visions, when nurtured
By her soulful intent becomes a marriage made in heaven
What was once visionary, is now Heaven on Earth!

Hope you enjoyed it!

The "vision" for the rest of the poem is to incorporate 2 more poems all interconnected. These two poems will have the same structure as Vision - each will have 3 - five line stanzas. The next of which I will tackle - perception. Perception will be followed by - Intuition. But...this is subject to change ;)

Now I just need to find the time and hold the focus to finish this through and through. Wish me luck :)



I know this field!

I saw this field in a vision I had in 1989. It is in Glastonbury, England.
This is incredible! I have more to find out though. I remember so much about that vision. I need to find out more. Yet...guess what is also in Glastonbury :) A pyramid ... of sorts. Actually - a stage. Here it is>




Divine Order has a shape - A Pyramid. 
Divine Creation is a soul family tree. 
Divine design has an architect - The I AM - 
through which God gives life to the pyramid of souls. 
And our souls... co-creators of divinity.



I just wanted to take a moment and share (or toot our horns) about an email that we received here. It's always nice to hear that we are helping people to understand something that the rational mind cannot even get its arms around.

BTW (and this is to you, Cherill) one last thing: when you get a chance, compare your fingertips and see if your fingerprints are alike :) You may be surprised.


I had to email. EVERYTHING that you wrote on your website about signs of finding each other is my twin and I. ( we also have the same signatures, met on the 11/11/11 –2009 and our birthdays numerologically give 11/11/11 to give but a few more examples)  

We know it anyway but find ourselves searching for answers to help us to understand what is so difficult to explain…. 

Reading your website gave a lot of comfort. We know there is more to come for us and this is just the start of our journey together and we have more growth and development to do together) 


Your words make sense in a time that doesn’t make sense to our rational minds but makes perfect sense to our intuitive ones! 


Thank you, Cherill :)
Brendan and Paula



Getting very close now. It's almost time.



The current connection with which we have to work with is so off the charts right now, that it makes my hands shake. Paula is experiencing the same thing. Normally I'd think I was drinking too much coffee but the clarity of the journeys we are making and the connections being established is overwhelming at times.

I do have a new name to add to The Pyramid of Souls. Paula and I talked about this individual. To be honest - I was wondering when this type of scenario would across our radars and now, here it is! Given the implications of what it means and who may be affected, I will only put the name of the Higher Self on the pyramid of souls page. I am doing this because I know of this person and would rather leave the choice up to that person as to how they would like it to be. All I can say is, the universe works in mysterious ways. But, we knew it was possible and many of us are having this experience as we speak.

Paula and I are currently trying to make the impossible - possible! :) This is why I've waited to write. Of course, we are talking about Paul and Ali. We are very close I do believe at making it come true. I know in my heart that this connection so closely resembles the connection that Paula and I have, that as David, wrote in a recent TF story submission - "everying is turned way up."

I often wondered why God didn't let this happen in the divine order in which we were created. Yet, in talking with God, he/she (The I AM) says that Paul and Ali were "chosen," not anybody out of the 2nd of 3d generation of souls but a pair of divine compliments in the 4th. So, there is a difference. In other words, if we fail at blazing a new path with them, then things could crumble. And...this is what scares the shit out of me - to be quite honest :) I belive in this path whole heartedly. I believe it with everything I've got. I see the path layed out and now...we just have to overcome our fears that still are playing a role. I will remind you, though, we are closer than ever before. VERY CLOSE!

What we talk about in emails in comparison to what we record in our journeys is mind-blowingly accurate. I hope one day to show you all how miraculous this really is. 

That's all for now :)



8/23/2010 @ 6:30PM

New Years Eve celebrations begin hours before the ball drops, Mardi Gras goes on for weeks, typically ending with a hangover and the kids are up for weeks before Santa Claus tries to even shimmy his way down the chiminey. Therefore, I think that it is most certainly appropriate on this day (YOUR B-DAY) to get this celebration started on the right foot. Not that the left foot is the wrong foot, but you get what I mean ;) Right??? Hey - just remember, we're going to be celebrating your birthday all day long tomorrow because we have just cause ;) This is a celebration!

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Today it is  your birthday Most Beautiful.

Most beautiful is my (current) nickname for you ;)

I have many nicknames (like Fi Fi or Paulo and others I cannot put here ;) for you because my mind, being connected with my heart, is constantly trying to find new names and ways to more appropriately describe to you how much I feel and love you.

Yet...the more I try and find the words, the more I realize that there are no words or nicknames that can even come close to describing how I really feel about you. That is what Heaven is all about and where we are at.

Heaven is nothing we can say
Nor poetically pronounce
Heaven is what the scale will never weigh
Ounce for ounce -

I must admit that with all of these nicknames I have for you, Most Beautiful is my favorite. But give it time. You know how my mind works. Maybe this time next year, I'll have another half dozen ways of calling your name.

Yet, no matter what, they all mean I LOVE YOU :)



Awww - my babe really wrote a beautiful B-Day wish. She's awesome you know ;)

I know I can count on you my love. can count on me as well.

I love you and I'll let  you know it on your B-Day, just 3 days from now.

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I wanted to say thank you, on this 20th day of August (my B-day) to T. & Z. and Pearl and Gloria for their really wonderful Twin Flame story submissions. As I built the pages and read both the stories I found so many similarities to our story. Not to mention - these latest stories very much reflect a common theme that Twin Flames seem to share, and that is: a connection of love that brings us back to spirituality.

Thank you for your stories!

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Well...I don't feel 39. No - wait a minute. Most people say I don't look 39 and I don't really feel 39 except for when I wake up in the morning. LOL! The process of trying to get out of bed increases with each passing year. However, I guess the thing that really let's me know that I'm 39 is the fact that I can't indulge in all those treats I used to be able to eat when I was in my twenties. You know what I mean ;) Nowadays, when I eat cake or fast food, I might as well be taping it to my waistline because that is where it is going :) My body at the age of 39 simply does not process fast food lke it once did. Yet, with each passing year, the quality of the food and the companies that process this food, decline in standards.

Something is seriously wrong with what we are being fed nowadays.

It's the same thing with the news we are being fed. The standards have lowered so considerably that thugs now occupy the front page of mainstream news media.

I am off on a tangent and I could go on and on but I won't ;)

- break -

Once again we are at a bit of a stand still in regards to Paul. Things change daily in regards to him. There is a lot of flip flopping going on. But, at least now I understand why.

 I do commend Paul for his bravery in a recent journey I made to him where I leveled with me and told me why he is at a stand still again in regards to what we're trying to do.

Believe it or not - THAT WAS A BIG STEP!

And... The spirit world recognizes this.

That is wicked big news!


Immediately after that journey to him, I went to see Protilius and Idavathian on the Plains. What I didn't expect to happen was that as soon as I arrived, they both grabbed me by the hands and began leading me somewhere. I knew something important was about to happen. We walked a short distance and then Protharus and Idagordava flew in. They all began to hold hands and form a circle. I joined them not really knowing what was going on or what this was for. However, when I asked, I was told that this would help Paul to fulfill his mission.

Anyway, in this circle, my left hand held Idavathian's right hand and my right hand held Protilius' left hand. The two of them were holding hands with Idagordava and Protharus. Together, the five of us, made a circle. Then, in unison, we all put our right hands into the center so that all of our hands were touching. From there, an intense white light began to form until I could no longer see our hands. It was so bright that it was blinding. I can still see that light in my minds eye even as I write this. Once this light formed, we pulled our right hands back to form a complete circle again. The light remained shining in the center.

Then, I was asked to call Paul to where I was. So...I called him and an instant later, he appeared and was trying to figure out what we were doing. He looked at the light from outside of the circle. Then, the space between where Idavathian and I was standing, began to widen. It's not that the space widened but it was more like Idavathian and I were swinging open like a gate to a fence would swing open to let somebody in. When this happened I knew I was not in control of what was about to happen. I knew that God was making this happen and that it had everything to do with what Paul said to me earlier in that journey.

So...Paul walked right into the center of where that light was and the beams of light were shining through his soul. Idavathian and I were once again holding hands and Paul was in the center. The look on his face was one of sheer, utter amazement.

Back here in the 3D, I could hear noises outside. Paula just arrived home and I knew she was going to need help bring things in or what not. I told Protilius that I didn't have much time. He told me not to go and that we must finish this. So, I went along with it and we all watched as Paul's spirit stood or rather bathed in this white ball of light. 

The ball of light itself was about the size of a soccer ball and it hung stationary in mid air. When Paul walked into that light, the light entered him at the chest and began emitting beams through his body.

I could hear the noise getting louder outside my bedroom. I knew I didn't have much time because Paula would have no way of knowing that I was in the middle of an amazing journey. Then, just when I was about to break from the journey, the space between Idavathian and I began to open. Suddenly, it was over. The light was gone. However, something was different. What was that? It was Paul. 

When I first called to him to come to me on the Plains, he was travelling as his lower spirit self. This was blatantly obvious. There is no mistaking that. That's the way we've seen him all along when he journeys to us.

However, when he left our circle, to my amazement Paul was glowing in gold just the way Paula, myself and more recently - Ali.

- break -

I'm going to find out more about what exactly happened in this experience. I think for now, I was only meant to experience it. 

That is all for now :)


August 20, 2010

By Paula

I love celebrating our birthdays together.  Each birthday we've shared has been so very special.  Instead of celebrating for a day like we used to, we get to celebrate our birthday's for days.  Brendan, I celebrate your birth as well as give you the greatest gift I know and that is my love.  You are beautiful, intelligent and amazing.  You are my hearts desire and every fantasy I could ever dream.

I know today is YOUR birthday my love but I'm the one who got a special gift.  The gift I received is your existance which makes me joyous and gives special meaning to my life.  I hope you have the joy I feel inside me spill over you and bathe you deep in your soul.

I want you to always have the best that I can give you and the best I have to offer right now is my intense love, my shoulder, my warm embrace and the comfort of my most passionate kisses.
Always count on me, not only today, but every day, month, year… on every single birthday from now on. Always count on me because I love you and I want that love to withstand anything.

I love you and Happy Birthday Brendan.

Love Eternally,


Brendan & Paula

In a channeling Paula did while connecting with God, I asked (through Paula) why sometimes I see Gods energy materialize as a man. And...if God was a man then did he have a Twin Flame. Paula relayed this question to God and God responded: "I am both male and female. Brendan has experienced me in my purest form whether ...he knows it or not. Most people, when they see me, they see the depiction of Jesus. He laughed. However, I am both male and female and you all are my bride/groom."

There is much more to this journey and we will share it in the I Am Dialogues when we have it ready.


8/11/2010 = 11:11 or 22



How are we all doing? Sorry I haven't written here in awhile. A number of things have contributed to that. The main reason I haven't written is because my computer is broken. Ya have to understand - I built that computer and when I use anybody elses, it's like driving somebody another car. But...I can still use Paula's PC. I plan on getting my computer fixed shortly. I'd use my work computer but you know how that goes ;)

- break -

Just recently, (in journey mode) on the 8th of August I had a conversation with Paul. I told him I was willing to slam the door shut on everything and all that has happened between us in the past. I was surprised enough to be talking to him because God had cut the connection for a short time. There were conversations during the previous week with him but those didn't go so well - until the 8th of August.

Later that day, while cooking dinner, Paula and I got buzzed. It was buzz with a ring tone we have not heard yet. At first we ignored it because it was dinner time. But...the buzz persisted and Paula went in for a look. Standing in the kitchen she looked at me and said, "you're not going to believe who it is." I guessed and was wrong. She told me it was one of his mates. Paula told him to give us 15 minutes and we'll both go in for a journey together.

About a half hour later, Paula and I layed down on our bed on our backs and my hand held her hand. We looked at each other and said "let's do it!"

Upon entering the room or restaurant, I found Paul's mate sitting at a table with all of these people and he had a great big smile. His eyes were shut. I asked him if he knew who I was. He replied, "Yes, I do. You are Brendan." I told him that he was doing a good job and that I knew he could hear me because when I buzzed him last year, he grabbed his ear as if there was a pain in it (the buzz sound.) I was just so surprised and GLAD that he could now do this. Great Job!!!

From my vantage point, I could see that Paula had joined me. We were both stationary above the table where there were many other people seated on this occasion. All of Paul's mates were there. Ali was there.

Paula heard from someone that it was one of there birthdays. We both found him and wished him a happy birthday. I asked how old he was and I heard "49."

There was much laughter around the table. It sounded like fun and Paula and I had been invited to be a part of it.

Looking around the table there appeared to be at least 8 people - maybe up to 10. But since the connection process between people of the pyramids is person to person, my clarity faded as I tried to focus on those who were not actively tuning in to our energy.

At one point Paula heard Paul introduce us to his friends. He said, "Paula is the mother of our pyramid and Brendan is the father." He said it in that order.

On another occasion I asked another of his mates if he could hear me. He replied, "No Brendan, I cannot hear you," in a joking sort of way. Immediately I laughed and was amazed. I couldn't believe all of these talented sons of guns. I meant to tell him that he was of the Angelic stock of beings, but forgot to.

Next to me, stationary and above the table, I could see Paula with greater clarity than I could see the rest of them. As usual we were travelling light (no clothes) and I could see that Paula was glowing in gold. While doing this journey we would also speak verbally to each other and compare notes about the journey. We noticed that our eyes were no longer big like they were last year after the initial merge. We still glow in gold but I see Paula now, just as she looks in the physical - except she glows. We also quizzed each othere on the seating arrangements of everybody at this birthday party for our accuracy. We were correct on all accounts. We pretty much know everybody's names and so we would just say he is sitting here next to her and her next to him and so forth. It was amazing.

We ended the journey and agreed that we would talk more with Paul - which we have been since the 8th of August. Since we have put the past asside, all systems are go.

Once again, we will attempt to what we did last year in late September. I would explain further what I mean, but if you go back and read those entries, you'll get it.

What we are trying to do is massive and mind blowing. It's never been done. In fact, doing this takes a lot of guts and there's nobody else on the planet that can make that happen better than Paul.

If fear does not get the best of us; if past problems do not stand in the way, this will all begin within the next month.

I'll keep you informed. I'd love to tell you more. If we can pull this off, trust me - ALL OF YOU WILL KNOW.

Love Brendan
Collapsing Duality...Journal   Aug/Sept/Oct. of 2010
Happy (early) Halloween from Brendan and Paula :)