Collapsing Duality...Journal

Copyright © 2008 - 2011 - by Collapsing Duality

Click HERE to go to the NEW JOURNAL PAGE. We wrote so much we ran out of space :-)


Well, it's been a bit since writing here, but many things to talk about; here and on the pyramid news page. I haven't written much lately because I've been sick with the flu. But, today is the first day I've been feeling better. So, let me get to it -

First, I want to thank Maria-Helena & Hermann as well as Anon & Anon for sharing their stories with us to publish on Collapsing Duality. We thank you for stepping up and being so open enough to talk about what it is like to experience your Twin Flame. You may click their links above to read their stories if you have not done so already.

I also want to thank everybody who helped contribute to the most recent article which we named - Collapsing Duality. It was a great experience to have all of you share your thoughts on what collapsing duality means to you. Initially Paula and I were going to do something jointly, but decided that instead of trying to define what collapsing duality means, we decided to ask the members of our sister sites what it meant to them. Thus, we have the 11 perspectives of Collapsing Duality. In reaching out to others I believe we were able to gain much more insight than we would have had we done this by ourselves. I've linked that article above in case you didn't have a chance to read it.

Great Job Team Collapsing Duality!

I enjoyed creating the layout for the page that became the article for collapsing duality. I spent a few days sketching it out on notebook paper before I began building the page. I wiped out all previous formats used on this site and basically started from scratch.

The first idea I had was to create a pyramid in which all of the faces of our contributors could be seen and in the order in which our souls were created. I thought it important also to have the constellations represented as symbols and in chart form. The only things I could not do, which I envisioned in my head was to have the whole thing (the article with all graphics) animated and rotating. I still see this and will have to learned some new tricks in order to one day make it happen.

Whatever the case, Paula and I feel that this was the best article we (all of us) have created to date. We're proud of that article because it is inclusive, has the perspective of many and it is a message that was heard in the spirit world.

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In case you haven't notice, Paula is back! Woohoo!!! She's been taking the lead with doing our videos and is currently focused on doing video representations of our Twin Flame Signs page - with personal stories to back up each sign that we have listed. Her latest video is Twin Flame Signs part 4. It can be found HERE. To check for new releases of videos you can visit our Youtube page - HERE

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We've been busy in the journey aspect of what we're doing as well - especially Paula. Paula has been telling me since about a week ago that instead of journeying in singular sort of way with the objective of seeing one person, place or thing, she is now seeing everything! I'll attempt to elaborate on this. Basically, Idavathian has given her the ability in a very intimate way, to see everything and all that is going on in both the spirit world and on earth. I know, it's hard to imagine that one, right? I understand, but Paula is reporting that she can see everybody in layers and what they're doing all at once - and with perfect clarity. Whatever the case, her abilities have stepped WAY UP! I am getting some of this too, but not like what she's been granted with. For me, I am seeing multiple things at once, but not all. I will get several images of people in their current states and it won't go any further than that. However, Paula says that in 3 months time, I will be where she is at now.

I already knew the order that Paula would be first in this enlightenment, followed by me. It's the natural order of how this is supposed to happen. I also knew because God spoke to me and asked me if I was ready to go home, yet? This happened in a journey. Well...I immediately became alarmed and said, "oh no, you don't. I'm not going anywhere, yet. Much more to do." Then Elloweina chimed and said, "B, God didn't mean it like that. What God meant was are you ready for you and Protilius to merge." I said, "yes. I thought we were already merged." Elloweina said, "This happens in stages and the next stage, the home stage, is where your lower and higher self become one and Protilius will be with you... in you... on earth... to the end." I told her that it was fine and that it was going to happen anyway. So, let it be :-)

Paula and I have also been visited, quite possibly by a new angel. This has been going on in our dream state mostly. Whoever this fellow is, he's been doing a lot of teaching with us. Only problem is - we have a very hard time bringing the information back, because we are in sleep mode. Basically, we're having sleep filled visions and this Angel is teaching us things in these visions. However, it is not out of the realm of possibility that this man might actually be incarnate. 

Paula and I will let you know as soon as we find out about this person or being because this is an important one.

Finally, I want to talk about a request that I recently had. Actually, it was more of a referral because this person was steered to me at the request of Kristin and Rebecca. I will share the details on the Pyramid News Page as well as add their names to The Pyramid of Souls page. Anyway, I recently received an email from Jennifer of the Jennifer and Bri Twin Flame Story that was just published here. She said to me in the email that she had heard I could find out about peoples higher selves and whether or not they were Angels or Aliens or what not... She asked if I could find out where she stood in the grand scheme of things.

Anyway, even though I was still sick with the flu, I wrote her back and said, "I haven't gone looking for higher selves lately, but when I get better, I can ask about you to Protilius or Elloweina. Right now, I'm sick w/flu. Anyway, the types of beings I've run into so far are either, aliens, angels or beings that operate in the negative side of the spectrum. Already I know you're not in the negative because of your email and the vibe that came along with it. Let me get better and then I'll check for you. I can't guarantee anything because this is how it works in the spirit world. Believe it or not, any answers I get about you will have to do with everything about you and how far along you are on your journey. It's just the way it works."

Anyway, that night, I laid down to bed feeling terribly under the weather and decided to give it a shot at finding Jennifer's higher self name. I was amazed at how easily I retrived the information - almost flawless. Why? Not only did I get her higher self name but Elloweina also gave me the name of her divine complements higher self name and some long awaited bonus information regarding the soul family of angels currently incarnate on earth.

You can read about that information at the Pyramid News page and at the Pyramid of Souls Page. Their names will be found on the pyramid of souls page.



New video by Paula. In this video Paula will be talking about the ability to be able to feel your divine complement whether you are with or without him/her.




It's an 11 day!!!

Well, it's official - We've made our jump into the world of video - at least... Paula has :-) Oh, I'll be doing videos too, that is of course if Paula doesn't cover everything before I do. LOL We hope you enjoyed her first video. She is currently working on another one which should be out tomorrow as of my last check with her.

Her first video (as well as any new ones that come out) can be found on our Youtube page by clicking HERE

Any new video releases by Paula will also be posted on both CD.NING or Collapsing Duality Facebook.

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I just wanted to thank those of you who have recently submitted Twin Flame Stories to Collapsing Duality. A special thanks goes out to: Jennifer & BriJo & Beloved and Mickeyren & Ed. We appreciate you sharing your beautiful stories with us, for you are also helping many others to understand how amazing and yet, how hard a Twin Flame relationship can be. There are so many scenarios that are possible and these 3 stories each tell of a different, but nonetheless wonderful perspective on Divine Union.

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I have begun working on the NEW Collapsing Duality article. For this article I am taking a different approach to how I have typically laid out the basic article format. So far, it looks like this NEW format is going to work. However, what I dream of in my head and what I am able to do with html code is not a perfect match. While I should still be able to pull off what this jointly written article is about, I foresee myself having to learn more about site design - way more than I already know. I am not going to spend anymore time talking about this new article because I'd rather save that energy for the article itself :-)

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There's lots of journeying going on. Paula and I have both been visiting Elloweina. However, many times Elloweina comes to us. In fact, today she has been buzzing the hell out of me. She had a message for me to relay to Paula about something she has to do.

Last night I fell asleep in my journey. I had gone to Elloweina and she took my hands and we began spinning into space. She was laughing the whole time. Elloweina laughs at everything! She even laughs when we are frustrated. It's not that she's laughing because we are in pain or confused, it's just who she is - even when she was alive. That's why it's so refreshing to hear Paula describe these things to me. Why? Because when Paula says to me "your sister, she was laughing about the confusion of one of our soul mates," I know that it was her. When she was alive, my sister could laugh even if a train was approaching and we were tied to the tracks. Somehow, she knew everything would be alright - and it would :-) That's how I remember her in 3D and this is how she is in the spirit - as an angel.

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Okay - that's it for this entry. I'll leave you with a saying that keeps popping up in my head. 

The Benefits of Telepathy -

Telepathy: the oldest/latest in wireless technology. Talk anywhere, anytime with any being in the cosmos; free days, nights & weekends for all of eternity; no roaming fees if you get lost while astrally projecting and you get unlimited direct connect with God.

Namaste - Brendan

P.S. One more thing - In case you missed it, I've added a New Page Called: Praise & Kind Words. This page is dedicated to all of you who have written to us or commented about something we've done at Collapsing Duality. Your comments are GREATLY appreciated and we want you to know how much they really mean to us.

We thank all of you!

Be sure to check back on this page because we have many more comments to add to it in the future.

Find that link HERE



In this entry I will be talking about the year 2010 in regards to Twin Flames, a visit that Archangel Michael made to me, New Stories by Shadow & Love and Susan & Beau, Answerology blog and a few Twitter Tweets of wisdom that I have come up with over the past week. Enjoy!

When living in the now doesn't quite do it for you, look to the future and manifest what you dream.

2010 was an amazing year for Twin Flames and also for what we're doing at Collapsing Duality. While I try not to get involved in numbers, the fact of the matter is - we have 58 people submitted their stories in the past year. 14 story submissions in 2009. 9 story submissions in 2008 - but that wasn't a full year for us as we had just started the site in May/June of that year. I wonder what 2011 will bring. All I know is that I feel a great amount of energy and momentum in how quickly people are discovering that true love really does exist. It is through this divine union that we may experience our Soul Mate, Twin flame, our higher self and yes - God!

Whatever the case in regards to numbers, the site stats that we have in the form of bar graphs reflect the number of stories submitted. In other words, things were chugging along, we hit 2010 and WHAMM! Everything is taking off like a rocket right now. This also reflects in the types of emails we get from couples who write us because Collapsing Duality has provided them with positive confirmation of what they are experiencing.

The numbers of newcomers that are finding the site, continue to grow steadily. I receive emails almost every day now from people who have had amazing experiences with their love and then they take to the internet to find out what the meaning of this new found connection they have. We really appreciate the feedback that these emails provide because it is confirmation for Paula and I that we are indeed on the right path and we can help others with their paths.

I do my best to email everybody who writes. However, I have been known to miss an email on occasion. This is not on purpose. If I miss an email it's because I am so swamped that I have probably overlooked it.


The tug of war between who is wrong and who is right, boasted with our voices - is but the fickle courtship we play with balance and choices

For the latest Twin Flame Story submissions, I just wanted to thank Shadowalker & Love and Susan & Beau for their recent story submissions. Shadow - thank you for your story. You have always been a good friend and Ally. A friend of Paula's is a friend of mine. Susan - your advice that you gave to other Twin's is greatly appreciated! And I loved when you said, and I quote -

"All good things happen in ANGEL TIME , not our time." ~ Susan


Recently, I have had the pleasure of a great dialogue with Ariel from the Ariel and Michael, story. Paula posted one of her emails on the 1/3/2011  journal entry. Later that day, I responded to her email with:

Hi Ariel :-)

WOW! What a great email  you wrote to us ;-)

I Twitted your Blog and Linked it on the Collapsing Duality Facebook Group Page, as well as my FB profile page so that visitors can find it better. In my next journal entry, I will link it there as well. Oh yeah, I also put it on the front page of Collapsing Duality. You can find it under the links section - Twin Flames. I think that is the right place for it. No? :-)

Your email blew me away. I was not able to hold back the tears ;-) I was touched. What is more, I was glad to be able to give you some confirmation about the energy you have seen and experienced since childhood. I got a chuckle when you wrote, [with a couple of the Earthly partners I've experienced] Actually, I got a good laugh because I know what you mean. You used brackets to describe that part. Hahaha :-) LOL That was great!

Yeah, BSF. That works for me. What is can think of Michael as your BTF or BTFF. LOL But yeah, it is an honor to be working with you as well.

I wrote about the real Holy Trinity in a poem once. It was called Children of The I AM. Yes, I know what you mean.

Paula has not read your email yet. When she gets home, if it's not too late, I'll have her read it :-) The both of you will have plenty to chat about.

One last thing. We're on a blog as well. It is called answerology. Come check it out! Here's the link:

I love you too, Ariel :-)

P.S. Have Michael stop by and see me some time. That would be great! Thanks ;-)

Well... not two hours had passed when Michael made contact with me. I was taking a break from the site and watching television. I know, I know don't hold it against me ;-) Nobody watches television anymore, right? It's all about the internet. Anyway, after the experience I began an email to Ariel to tell her. I have also made a few small additons to the email that Ariel did not get. The reason for this is because I had not planned on being visited by Michael - right away at least.  When you have a vision, go on a journey or astral project it can be very hard to remember what you've experienced unless you have a pad of paper with you or somebody monitoring your journey. It's like when you have an awesome dream at night; wake up from the dream immediately after and then say, "ohhh, I'll remember that when I wake up in the morning." Then morning comes and you have lost half of the dream. This is partially true in this case. Anyway, This is what I wrote:

Dear Ariel,

I don't know if you asked Michael to come to me or not. I know I requested that you did but about 2 hours after I sent you that email, while I was watching tv, I began to receive this high pitched buzz in my right ear. It was a new tone I had not perceived before. I shut my eyes, let the tone populate my 3rd eye with video and I saw a man with a long cape or robe who was standing on a cloud. It was Michael - for the first time! I couldn't believe it. He was amazing! The conversaton was all telepathic. Anyway, If you did not request that he come to me, then I imagine he has been dropping in on our conversations?  :-)

His eyes, his eyes HIS EYES!!! WOW! I'll never forget those EYES.

Anyway, Michael appeared in all of this smoke as if he was standing upon a cloud of smoke. I could not see his feet as he seemed to come up out of the cloud. He looks similar to my own merged higher/lower spirit self. We have many similarities. He had a long cape, like the one I wear; the widest eyes - almost piercing but yet full of wisdom and a gentle power. His hair was long, appeared dark in color (brown?) and came down past his shoulders. I asked him if he was here because of you and he said he was. I then had him verify his name was indeed Michael and he responded in the affirmative. I asked him if I was doing a good job here on earth and he said that I had exceeded all expectations for what was previously planned on my life path. WooHoo!!! Then I asked him if he knew my higher self and he said that he did. I also asked him about some things that Paula and I are working on with some other close soul mates and he said it would come to fruition.

When my questions came back to you, I asked if you were his Divine Complement. He said that he was :-) and that I already knew this. Either way, he entertained the question, just the same.

At about that time, I began losing focus. My daytime mind began running away with the vision and things became very sketchy. I found that I had to concentrate very hard just to get back to him. The last thing I remember thinking was, OMG I am losing this vision and I asked him if we could speak again. He said (in my mind) that we would.

That's it -

You have to remember, I am used to dealing with alien spirits who are surrounded by pyramids in a mystical and magical place in which they refer to as: The Plains. That is why, when I honed into this new high pitched ring tone I had not heard before, I was astounded to see Michael. I have seen Angels. Work with them and talk to them daily. On a very rare occasion, have I seen angels with great big wings. Just like in the books. Note: this is rare in my experiences, but it is real - angels with wings. Elloweina for instance does not have wings. Neither does Iparoth. Yet, both are extremely powerful. Michael, does not have wings either, but while I was communicating with him/seeing him, I know one thing for certain and that is: I am glad I am on his team :-) I mean that too. Michael is the real deal, my friends. Trust me - one look into his eyes and you're changed! It's a good thing :-)

At Collapsing Duality, I only write about those experiences I've had. Same goes for Paula. That is why I've never written about Michael

Here's the conclusion to the email I sent Ariel:

Hmmm, what else??? I can't think :-) I know there is more but I have to remember. It's like trying to remember a dream we had the night before - only it wasn't a dream because this was daytime and I was watching TV of all things. Whatever the case, Michael is very much the REAL DEALl, Ariel! I still cannot get over his eyes. WOW! They look like my eyes do - the merged lower spirit self that looks like me (Brendan) and the higher self that is Protilius - a combination of them both. I wonder if that is where this is going. I will ask Protilius this question.


I noticed that some people are still keeping alive the article we wrote, How Twin Flames Connect. Yet, somebody seemed to have cut and pasted it, as well as renaming it - When Twin Flames Connect. It's now on a blog. Whatever the case, it's all good. We really prefer that if anybody uses content from here, just to ask us first and provide the link. Either way, it seems to be helping newcomers. Here is the link to that blog: When Twin Flames Connect - LOL! And here is a recent comment that somebody had to say about it: 

Anonymous said:

I thought Romeo and Juliet were crazy, and that the myth of the 'other half' of the soul was even crazier. Didn't even believe in true love. Was not looking, figured no guy could even come close to my standards, and thought I'd rather live my life as a single then ever give in to substandard relationships again. I'm a psychology student. Everything's supposed to be measurable by man's teaching.

I met my twin flame. I didn't even know what a twin flame was. It was a pull. Seriously huge pull that we both felt. I even tried to turn him down because my head was saying 'this is crazy!', but had to follow my heart.

The author of that post has hit the nail on the hit so much for what I've experienced, it's just amazing! The love grows daily. The magic truly is there like no other! There's a zillion similarities; so much so that's it like we grew up together. There's absolutely no comparison for skeptics because it transcends all that we normally believe and are taught!

Yeah. Now I completely understand Romeo and Juliet. :)


That's all for now -
Love Brendan & Paula

Ariel and Paula

We have been getting many emails from people who've read our latest journal entry.  We are very pleased with the response.  I'd like to share an email I received from Ariel.  I really love what she wrote.  I will probably be sharing more of these emails but this one to start out with.  Thank you again Ariel for the wonderful email.   Here is a link to Ariel's blog called The Discerning Angel.  Click here to see Ariel's story on Collapsing Duality.

Dear Brendan,
Thank you so much for taking the time to read my blog! I feel very honored!  :-) 
Last night I read your latest Twin Flame Journal entry on the Collapsing Duality website about yours and Paula's energy experience with each other after Love Making.  I Loved the way you described what you experienced and how you both reacted to it!  That was so Beautiful!  The information you imparted also left me very intrigued and feeling totally and completely validated as these are things I have experienced much of my life, but had (until recently of course) always written it off as a product of my fertile imagination.  What you describe is so very real indeed!  I remember from a time when I was very young standing in the living room of the house I grew up in, staring out the huge picture window which looked out into the front yard and seeing those little sparks darting all around... I came to know eventually that they were everywhere I looked, everywhere I went.  Again, I had always thought it was "just me".  And the energy tracings you made on each other - I too have experienced this after [what sufficed as] Love Making [with a couple of the Earthly partners I've experienced].  I was the only one to perceive it though and when I told them what I saw and tried to get them to see it too, they thought I was imagining it... I knew better. :-)  I've also spent many hours by myself making tracers with my fingers just through the air - again, I wondered if I just had a fertile imagination, though it always seemed very real to me.  Of course then there has always been the beautiful aura which I see in swirling, flaming blue-violet which I know is Michael's... and occasionally I see the same in vivid electric green which I know is Raphael's.
Recently, about 4 or 5 nights ago, I had had a really difficult day, and though it was late at night and I probably could have just gone to bed, being that I still had things I needed to get done I just went in and laid down on my bed for a few minutes.  Of course Michael is with me constantly these days and knowing that I was in a bit of a fowl mood he wanted to help me feel better, and just as I put my head on my pillow and closed my eyes I felt him reach out and touch the end on my nose with his finger ... of course this caused me to open my eyes and as I did so I saw a little sparkle of his blue-ish energy trail off into the room a couple of feet away.  Well, as you can imagine as sweet as that gesture was and the Love I felt knowing how much he cares for me, my mood improved immeasurably and it wasn't long before I was able to get up and complete my unfinished tasks so that I could go back to bed for the rest of the night ~ of course, as always, Michael was with me holding me all night long.
I think that these things I have experienced all my life must have had something to do with trying to get me to remember why I am here... in yours and Paula's case ~ I can say with certainty that you are tapping directly into your Divine Connection with Source... really creating and manifesting that Holy Trinity of Mother/Father/God within the three of you... of course you KNOW that this is what the Holy Trinity really is and NOT Father, Son and Holy Spirit as we had been taught by the church.  We are overcoming those little lies though aren't we?! :-)   Yes, the veil between the worlds IS getting thinner, and your experience with your Beloved proves this.  It also proves how far the two of you have come in fulfilling your Twin Flame Quest ~ you are truly beginning to Manifest now ~ to traverse the realm of 5th dimension where ANYthing is possible and if you can dream it, you can do it, all your fondest desires made manifest!  What a Beautiful and Wondrous thing!!  Know it and have Faith in it because it IS VERY REAL!!  :-)
Thank you so much for sharing accounts of these experiences with all of us!!  It is so reassuring, even for someone like me, to know that others have had these experiences too and that in itself validates the fact that it is real!
Yes... I like the concept of Best Soul Mates Forever!  I know that you know that when we are brought into each others lives the way we have been, it is because we ARE Soul Mates and have made an agreement to help each other achieve the greater good for everyone!  I am so looking forward to this experience with you and Paula!  You two are so beautiful together!  It is an honor to be a part of your lives!
We will definitely stay in touch!!  Keep up the awesome work you are doing!!  The more people who know that True Love really does exist, the more Love Light we can All create together and the faster and sooner huge numbers of people all over the world will awaken to the Beautiful and Blissful Truth of who and what we really Are!
Loving you and Paula forever, ~Ariel~


These emails have inspired me to write more about sexuality between twin flames and the spirituality you can attain together.

Namaste, we love you all.


My New Years Resolution for 2011 is to work less, be with family more, and write on this site.  Brendan needs my help. LOL

Brendan says: Paula you are my BTFF Which = Best Twin Flame Forever!

BSF = Best Soulmate Forever


1/1/2011 or 11 11

1/1/2011 - We're kicking off the year with 2 pairs of master numbers and we'll end the year with a single pair - 12/31/2011 or 11. This will be the year where many divine complements will merge and become one.

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I wanted to take a minute to talk energy with you. Every now and then, Paula and I will reach a new level where we'll be able to experience things that we never have before. A few nights ago, we did just that. After we made love we were just laying in bed carressing one another and noticed all of this energy across our bodies. There was very little light in the room - probably about 20% light. Anyway, As we lay facing one another, we noticed all of these multi-colored specks of light darting across each others faces and bodies. There were so many that we looked like every color in a box of crayons. Then, as I would drag the back of my fingernails lightly across her body it would leave this tracer of light that would gradually go away. She noticed the same thing and we began drawing little designs on one another. Then Paula noticed that each time she rubbed my chest that little sparkles of white light (like sparks) would go shooting off of me. We both laughed because this was such a new experience. Another thing we noticed was that if we were to look at the outline of each others bodies that were barely visible because of the small amount of light in the room, we noticed that there were ripples in our skin - like waves. Off of those waves and ripples we noticed something that resembled heat waves like the ones that come off of the road on a hot summers day. It was amazing and we both knew that we had reached another level - not just sexually, but spiritually as well. What does it mean? I can't be sure exactly but I believe it is all going somewhere spiritual. At the minimum, a step in the right direction ;-)

In the days leading up to this, Paula and I had broken down many walls that put up do to our impending short term separation. Having broke these walls, I believe the spirit world has rewarded us with another perspective - the one I just talked about.

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I am currently re-working the Twin Flames page that has gone unchanged since we built this site in May/June of 08. Feel free to check it out. Just remember that it is a work in progress.

That is all for now -

Peace to you all
Love B & P



For this journal update, I am discussing Twin Flame separation anxiety, The gifts we receive at Christmas, Ideas for a New Collapsing Duality article and the difference between Soul Mate and Twin Flame.


Well...I hope we all had a Great Christmas :-) I have taken a short break from the Journal as I have been busy traveling. I went to see my two daughters back in Massachusetts over the holidays and it really helped me to put a lot of things into perspective. What is more - it rejuvenated my soul because I am so very connected with my children and have not seen them very much at all over the past year. I needed that, A LOT! I love all of our children, but the ones I've spent my life with up until a year ago, have been missing and out of arms reach. The greatest gift I got this Christmas, did not come in a package but was simply to be re-united with my kids - even if just for a short time.

I have many gifts right before my eyes. The love that Paula gives me is a gift that I am thankful for - DAILY - and not just at Christmas! What a miracle it is for us to have found each other. Then there is the miracle of her two good children that I now get to experience life with on a daily basis. I am thankful for them both. I am thankful to have a roof over my head. I am thankful there is food to eat when I get hungry. I am thankful to have co-created Collapsing Duality with Paula, where we all get to share in each others experiences. I am thankful for this, and much more :-)

Yet, soon I will have to relocate to find a better paying job. I wrote about this on the 11/16 journal entry. Well...that time is nearing and the separation anxiety that Twins often describe, Paula and I are feeling - BIG TIME! It won't be forever though. The good thing about it is, when either one of us put up a "wall" to shield our hearts from the pain of this impending separation, we are always there to help break it down and get to the heart of the matter. When we finally do break down those walls, we are able to re-establish the connection and openly communicate one on one, again. It is very important for all of us to remember this. It is something you'll have to work on.

There is nothing that can really describe what Soul Mates and especially, Twin Flames go through when it comes time to part for an array of various reasons. Many times, even throughout a given day, one can become detached from those around them. When this happens, we are trying to protect our hearts and souls. But we must remember that, while we detach and numb ourselves from the obvious reality, we are only making things worse. Why? Because now we are shutting out the world around us - not just the pain we have from seperation anxiety. When we do this, nothing gets in and nothing gets out. We are closed up and become spiritually toxic because our souls are now, stagnant. This is not a good thing and for those of us who have to go through this situation, remember what I just wrote. It's advice from one Soul Mate to another :-)

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Since my last journal update we have had Twin Flame story submissions from, Angela & BradMarie & JamesMelissa & BrianL.J. & Dave and most recently (today) Jane & John.

In case you missed it, Brian has written and recorded a song for his Twin Flame, Melissa. The song is called, "Hello Again." This is not a remake of the version done by The Cars :-) This song was prepared especially for Melissa. I invite you to listen to it as I have posted it on their Twin Flame story page.

We thank all of you for taking the time to tell your stories, especially on our Profiles page that is still under construction. Yes, I am slacking a bit in this department but have it under control :-) LOL I was supposed to have had it complete a month ago. I know, I know - this is terrible. But, as soon as I get that burst of energy, I'm going to knock it out in one sitting. That's how it works with me. Same way with articles. I either do it in one sitting sometimes doesn't get done at all.

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Just recently I began to consider the idea of writing an article that would simply be called - Collapsing Duality. While entertaining this idea, I began to remember how Paula and I came up with the name for this site. At the time we coined the name, it seemed as if the world around us just sort of crumbled and faded away as we got lost in each others loving gaze. We both noticed the automatic power of the love we shared and talked about quite often in those earliest days.  Time would slow down, a haze of white light would emcompass us both and when we made love, it literally felt as if we were becoming one or Collapsing Duality into Oneness.

Yet, just a few days ago, I decided that maybe it would be a better idea to have multiple perspectives as to what exactly, Collapsing Duality means to each of us. Why not. Right? I mean, if we are all at different levels on our journey, then wouldn't it make a bit more sense to have many people, with their many perspectives, all describing what this means to them? This way, when people who are on a spiritual path are looking for answers, they may not find what Brendan has to say, applicable; yet they may find the exact answer they need from one of our contributors to this article. And that is the plan - to have an article written by many contributors - all with their own thoughts on what Collapsing Duality into Oneness, really means.

While Paula and I plan on sharing our own thoughts about Collapsing Duality, we have begun posting the instructions as to what we're looking for on both Collapsing Duality.Ning and Collapsing Duality on Facebook.
So far we have 6 contributors, not including Paula and myself. We are looking for me. Would you like to be a part of the Collapsing Duality article? If so, here is what we're looking for:

I am looking for volunteers to help write a new article that will simply be called - Collapsing Duality.

The idea is this: I am looking for volunteers to write in one paragraph, what Collapsing Duality means to you. We should be coming from the perspective where we will not be talking about the site Collapsing Duality, but rather what it means to Collapse Duality into Oneness.

I know what Collapsing Duality means to me and Paula, but I thought it would be much more effective, if we as a group were to put this together as a team effort. The paragraph can be up to but not exceeding 11 lines. And, if I can find either 11 or 22 volunteers, I will publish the article with all paragraphs from each of you. However, if we can only make it to 11 - 11 it will be. 11 is the goal.

If you would like to participate in helping create this article, follow the guidelines above, take your time, write it the best you can and show perspective. Do not submit it here. Submit the paragraph to: 

When I feel we have received all the submissions we can muster, I will post the article on Collapsing Duality. I would also like to put a face with each of the paragraphs. In other words, I'd like to post your pictures with each paragraph that is submitted. In addition, if you run a site, I would like to link that site at the bottom of your paragraph. If you've submitted a Twin Flame Story, I would like to link your story along with the paragraph. Facebook and .ning links will do just fine as well.

Also - please let me know what country, state and/or city you would like to be from.

Well...let's see what we can come up with :-)

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Another thing I have been working at as of late, is to rejuvenate our Lightworks blog. For awhile, I had not done much with it, but I think it is important to network, get the word out there and exchange ideas. So, I have been posting some of our articles on there and we're starting to get some responses. I will share one of them here. The duscussion is about the difference between Soul Mates and Twin Flames. Here it is:

Anonymous said: I feel really strongly about using the words soulmate and twinflame, a soulmate is not a true twinflame there is a huge difference, and I feel this is causing people to be confused, many people seem to think that because they are with a soulmate this automatically means they are your twinflame they simply are not. Also twinflames dont just bump into each other and get together, it is a long arduous journey on a soul level healing each others stuff plus past lives between you, this journey can be unbearable but is one of complete devotion. You cannot be reunited with your True twinflame until one or both of you are completely healed within yourself, and this reunion is orchestrated by the divine you cannot orchestrate this reunion yourself it is all divinely guided by your soul and your angels and guides, the reunion is one of the soul first and foremost it is nothing like a 3d relationship. There is so much misinformation out there and yes I believe more twinflames are coming together as this is part of the new earth, but have to wonder how many of those that say they are with their twin actually are true twin flames, I believe we can have what is termed a near twin which can come into our lives to prepare us to be with our actual twin. I feel there is much clarity needed to understand these relationships, and much confusion out there. Being in a twinflame relationship is a huge undertaking for humanity, and takes much devotion to heal yourself and understand why it can bring up so much pain and confusion to fully understand what is going on in these paths to reunion.

Brendan's reply was: It can be very hard indeed to tell at the surface level, if he/she is your true twin flame. If a person is not in tune with the spirit world and/or communicating with their angels or higher selves, then all they may have to go on is what they feel in their hearts and intuition. And that is just fine too. If they seek advice from psychics and/or people with other mediums of contacting the spirit world, in hopes of finding their twin flame, many times they are disappointed. Why? Because this is our souls journey. It is a personal path to the truth. We chose to come here and for the souls purpose of experience as we ascend back to God.

Had Paula and I not journeyed to our higher selves we might have later questioned whether or not we were Twin Flames, which I'll tell you about in the next paragraph. But, we did journey, we did meet our higher selves and found them together. We had a 4-way conversation: mine and Paula's lower spirit self and/or extension and Protilius & Idavathian our higher selves. They confirmed for us that we are not just divine compliments but mother & father to many souls - at the soul level.

Back to what we were talking about. I'll give you an example of why it can be so hard to tell your Twin Flame from your Soul Mate. After Paula and I met our higher selves and found out that we were mother and father to a "Pyramid of Souls," we decided to go find our other children who are incarnate right now on earth. We use journeying as the method. We start with the many other higher selves from the spirit world, pick a pair of divine compliments and then with their aid, journey to the incarnate person on earth. When we find them, we attempt contact through telepathy. Now, if the person is spiritually in tune, we may have some luck. Anyhow, in the beginning, we weren't getting anywhere and then we asked our higher selves what to do next. They directed us to journey to another pair of divine compliments. So, we did and not only could they see, hear and feel our presence when we journeyed - when we gave them our email through telepathy, they wrote us back an email. We were blown away!

From there, we journeyed to one another (we still do) and found that the two of them are energetically almost identical to Paula and I. The connection - off the charts! What is more, there are 2 soul generations between us. Had Paula and I not found our higher selves first, confirmed we were divine compliments and then made this journey I just spoke about, things could have been very confusing indeed. I would even venture to say that our paths could have become skewed had we not gotten to know our higher selves first.

You brought up a great point and YES, the difference between Soul Mate and TF needs to be talked about more.


Well, that is all for now. 
We are on the doorstep of a New Year. Let's make it the best one yet!

1/1/2011 BABY!!




Hey - Did you read the latest Twin Flame Story by Serafina and Joe? If not, then check it out: HERE. It's a really great Twin Flame story filled with love.

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Well...I hope you liked, The Parable of One and Zero (1 &0.) It felt good writing it, too. I woke up Saturday morning and just felt this burst of creative energy and so I went into the computer room and had about 75% of it done in an hour and a half. With all of this energy, I had to find a place for it to go and so I applied it to the topic of Karma and how what we give to the world, we get back - in an amplified state of energy. It was fun writing that. After, I took a break and then handed it over to Paula (in hardcopy format) and she added the finishing touches to it. We work like that, you know :)

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In this journal entry I want to focus on those who have come here and decided to take it up a notch or two by themselves. What I mean specifically, are those who have come to Collapsing Duality, been inspired, and then gone on to create sister sites and even a Facebook site.

The first site I need to mention is Collapsing Duality.Ning. This site was started by Rebecca Silver Phoenix. She wrote to Paula and I and felt compelled to start a site, using the Collapsing Duality name, (with our permission of course) and put in another venue where there is a chat, a forum and a blog. Also...visitors may create their own profile and share Twin Flame experiences with each other. To find out what we're doing at CD.Ning, you will be required to join. It's really easy. It's free. However, donations are gladly accepted :)

As of today, I just approved the 89th member of CD.Ning. So...the site is growing quite fast. Please stop by and visit, here:

Wonderful job, Rebecca Silver Phoenix :)

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The next site I want to make mention of is: 
Collapsing Duality on Facebook.

Much the same way Rebecca started Cd.Ning, Kate Flame wrote to us and told us that she thought we could use a spot on Facebook. Paula and I thought it was a great idea. So, we're all on there. I am going by HS name, Protilius ErmPhorus and Paula is going by her HS name, Idavathian ErmPhorus. Join:

See what we're chatting about on Facebook.

Wonderful job, Kate!

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Collapsing Duality is also on Twitter, where we post from 2 different angles. First; from IntoOneness, we Tweet about all things spiritual and share links to stories about Twin Flames. 

Second; we have a place we call, PyramidofSouls. From here we Tweet about The Pyramids of Souls, Journeying, The Divine Order of Creation and about Twin Flames.

Come join us on both of these sites that are run by Paula and myself.

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Finally, I want to thank those who I have the privelege of interacting with reguarly on our Facebook, CD.Ning, Ashtar Command and Lightworkers.

Janet, Kristin, Janine, Daniel, Jagoda, Susan, Jasmina, Ashwari, Cindy, A'Lyce and many, many more. THANK YOU! Your advice, praise and compassion that you offer to others who share their Twin Flame Stories either at Cd.Com, Cd.Ning or on Facebook is going above and beyond and thought you ought to know, that it is GREATLY APPRECIATED :)

In utha words, Ya didn't but ya did ;-)

If I missed some of you and I feel like I did, but can't think of who - now that I am trying. LOL! Either way, it's not intentional. Please understand :)

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This has been an UNBELIEVABLE year for Collapsing Duality. Just read the Twin Flame stories that are coming in :) It's amazing! Today, alone, we received (so far) 3 New Stories - in one day! I think that's the record for a single day. I'd look but I don't have time. LOL! Anyway, that's 2 or 3 times what we did last year on the Your Story page. Check it out!

The number of newcomers, I am able to track on the Twin Flame Signs page. I can see how many are new and how many are returning. 90% or better are new - which has doubled from last year. The overall number has doubled as well. This tells me there is most definitely a movement underway. I KNOW IT! People are looking for answers to questions they have about something amazing - Love -  and I am honored to be able to help them, even if I don't have all the answers myself. However, this makes me feel good inside. Makes me wish I could do this for a daytime job. But, I only have a few hours a day - sometimes none at all. That's why I thank you all so much. You're helping out when I cannot. TY,  ty ty

I have a Twin Flame too, you know :-) Her name is Paula. I love her very much and we are still - even after almost 3 years now - trying to find a way to make it work here, IN THE 3D! It's a hard road and  that's an understatement. Just read the journal entries going back to 08. No, never mind the journal entries, read the TF Stories! I try and keep the journal entries real to our experiences. After all, it is a journal. However, I try and also gear it for the reader.'s not really a private journal at all. get the idea. I talk about a lot, but not everything.

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Christmas is almost here :-) It's that time of year to give to others, when we can and/or if money/finances will allow. Just know that if we don't have the money to buy all those presents, then we can always do good by one another. Help another out - the greatest gift of all!

Paula asked me what I want for Christmas and I told her I already had it - and pointed to her heart. In turn, I asked her what she wanted, and she said the same thing.

There is nothing I need in the way of material things at this point in my life. I have pants, shirts and shoes and although they are worn a bit, they don't need replacing yet. Paula and I, we are able to provide love, food and shelter to our children. So...I believe we feel thankful for that on Christmas.

What do you feel thankful for?


12/7/2010 (couple of angles to make 11's out of that one)

It has snowed here, a little every day since Saturday. Saturday we got 3 inches of the stuff and had on/off snow showers since. Need I mention it is very cold. 10 to 15F at night and upper 20's during day. Now I hear there's a chance for a really big winter storm on Sunday with 6 plus inches possible. Sounds like this past February when I first arrived in Ohio to live here. Why? Because there had not been any snow up until February and like the day after I arrived it started snowing. So...everybody would say, "You brought the snow w/you from Massachusetts." LOL! Then they would follow up by saying, "you should have left it there." It does get cold in Ohio.

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On 12/5 I made a quick note here just saying that "you guys" were breaking records. What I meant was that there is another upswing taking place. When I say that, I mean, there are more people finding this site who are in search of help because they are AWAKENING and/or FINDING TWIN FLAME. 

On that day we broke our regular day statistics hits.

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On 11/29 I wrote about "that spirit" who has made life very hard for Paula and I. Well...the following day after I wrote that journal entry, I decided to have another go with him. This time, I took him for a ride to a very, very far away place and created a special room for him (his spirit.) He will not be a problem again for quite some time - at least until he gets some God in him :)

However, there are already others who are here. More than one this time. I found this out last night - another 4 hour night of sleep. I'm so tired that when I work at my day job, I forget things and screw up all the time. Simple things are becoming a struggle and in order to perform basic duties, I have to focus all of my intent just to make it happen. 

On the other hand, sleep deprivation creates a manic state where I just don't care what I say and people looke at me like they can't believe the words coming out of my mouth. It's the same way for Paula.

But...Protilius and Idavathian told us all of this last year. They told us this war that was happening with them (our higher selves) up on the Plains, would also happen right here on earth.

This war - is not about humans killing humans the way we've done since the caveman. No, not this war, this war is unlike any that has ever happened. This war is a war for your very soul - you spirit! This is the time when we need to be vigilant because the spirit world is here and it is yours, if you wish to embrace it. There is no veil anymore. This is really the time to reconnect. Right now! I mean it, too!

You know, I have heard it said that the 3rd world war would be spiritual or religious in nature. Well, it is spiritual and I don't think that whoever said that really completely understood that "spiritual" really meant - AS IN SPIRITS!

Whatever the case, Protilius and Idavathian were right about this. It is here and not by our choice. I just hope my physical body can withstand it all because I know my spirit can. But my physical body is taking a beating. I have been sick most of this month. Some of it is from being attacked at the spirit; some from sleep deprivation and a combination of both. 

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Since that last spirit battle, I have done much visiting to The Plains. Protilius (my higher self,) Idavathian (Paula's higher) and Elloweina are still right there. They look good, too! Iparoth is also there. Paula has taken him back on board (within her soul) for protection. Elloweina is with me :)

It's great having my sister along for the ride. What is more - she's taking most of the beating for me! If it wasn't for Elloweina, I don't know where I'd be at. I know she lead me to Paula. She never left me after she died. She is such a joker just like she was in the 3D. 

I'm glad God has kept her assigned to the task :)

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Journeying for me, lately, has been very clear and concise. I have the clarity back that I had in the summer of 09. This is GOOD! I found this out when I went to Protilius and Idavathian recently. 

Since the recent battle with the nuisance spirit, I have been going back to The Plains more frequently.

One of the things I did was to better understand my higher self totem or HS totem. I did this by visiting the area on the other side of the pyramid that represents "the pryamid of souls" and found the same ten statues that we've talked about before. Only, these statues represent the totem. In other words...humans on earth have power animals. On The Plains, our higher selves refer to them at totems. 

The higher self uses their totem or changes into their totem (if they wish - not mandatory) when they need to protect or battle against other spirits who are trying to do them harm.

What do the totems look like? Exotic!!! Picture if you will; birds, snakes and other creatures too hard to relate to anything on earth - yet, much more exitic - prehistoric, even!

I am working on getting the name of my HS totem and will write about it when I have it. It's a huge name :)

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I want to share one more piece of info. This info comes from Ashtar Command - which both Paula and I belong to.

Someone was asking for advice and I hope I helped them :)

Here is what was asked -

I need help S.O.S.!!

I am so confused about my experience with Twinflames. I had an etheric twinflame that made love to all my chakras but then steered me to another who is incarnated on this planet at this point in time. If I am connecting my chakras with this person who lives miles apart from me and I have never met in person does this mean he is my Twinflame. I thought we were supposed to have only one Twinflame. Or was the etheric being my Twinray and the incarnated person that I have united my chakra energies with my Twinflame.

To say the least, I was having real Cosmic Sex with this higherbeing that was far more intense than that what one enjoys 3D Style and then one day my etheric Twinflame explains to me that I should bond with another for the sake of my evolution. That there is still shadows of Karma to be purged out of me that only can be done by coming together with this person. I did cry a lot. Did not understand why. I did not want to be vulnerable to another 3D incarnated man. But here I am now totally vunerable to someone who is my total opposite. It is a blissful situation as well as stretching each other's boundaries at times. He is a very mature soul but what about my etheric mate? I was so in love with him and now my heart chakra is spilling in orgasmic love for another. I am so hopelessly confused. 

Here is how I responded -

Celestine - It is possible that this being from the spirit world may actually be the Higher Self of this incarnate person that lives miles from you - here on Earth. is also possible that he is a soul mate - a very close one at that! Reason I say this is because of what you describe about the intensity and the ease with which the two of you connect. You bring up a great point because Paula and I have dealt with a situation (still are) where we've connected with soul mates (divine compliments) and found out that connecting with them is just as easy as when Paula and I connect with each other. I can explain. The reason we connect with these "soul mates" so well, is because AT THE SOUL LEVEL, they are our spirit children - created by us. In turn, God created all of us. What does this mean for you? sounds like you are journeying really well and I wouldn't change anything about that. I think the only thing to do now, is to try and engage this incarnate man in communication to find out more. Remember that whoever this man is, he too is the spiritual extension of his higher self. He has a spirit and it sounds like you've connected quite well with that part of him. I would work between your etheric mate and this incarnate man and see if the two are one and the same :) I don't believe you have to ditch your spirit friend for this new man. The rules in the spirit world are not the same as religious rules or government laws here on earth. Worship at the spirit level (which you have been practicing quite seems) is not just with your Twin Flame but with your entire soul family. You will always have one Divine Compliment or Twin Flame but there is also an entire soul family for you to become re-acquainted with. Hope this helps you. Write with questions anytime.

On the very same blog, a few days earlier, another person posted another great question - w/experience.

that person wrote:

I contact myne all the time. I cant understand a word she is saying though. Ashtar verified to me the contact and mentioned we had made the decision that I go to this plane and she would go to one of a higher frequency.
Anyways I put instructions on how to make contact on one of my spiritual blogs.

I responded:

Hello and greetings. I too had this problem when first meeting my higher and TF's higher. At first, my higher was talking way too fast like fast forward audio. Then, he adjusted it a bit and I began to start to understand him with words. Try that :) if that doesn't work (with your TF) ask your TF to do a visual in the language of your choice, like English or what not. Basically, you will be asking your TF to spell it out letter by letter in a scrolling ticker, from left to right. I had to do this quite a bit when I couldn't adjust and it was very affective. Just keep a pad of paper and pen on hand so you'll remember. Or...if you have a good friend, ask them to be your monitor. I look forward to reading up on your contact blogs. Brendan 

That is all for now -
Love Brendan and Paula

Oh yeah, one more thing I almost forgot to mention: we have an appointment with Paul :)

Yeah, I know, it's old by now (for those of you who read the journal) But...(as we say in Boston) ya neva, neva know.

Note: for those of you who are new on this journal, to make a long story short, about what I just said in regards to "the appointment," I can explain in 3 to 5 sentences. Over a year and a half ago, my higher self told me to go find somebody and I did and during that journey I gave this person my email. He emailed back (amazingly) and we've been talking via email since. Today, we scheduled an appointment with an exact date and time for us to talk - VERBALLY in the good ole fashioned 3rd dimension. 

So...fathom that you journey to somebody and give them your phone number. Then imagine them calling you. That's what we're trying to do. Now if only we could all be on the same page!

was I rambling?

I'm rambling. Good Night :)



Just wanted to let you know that all of you Angels, Aliens and Deities are burning this place up tonight! :) guys are breaking records on this site.

We want to thank all of you who have shared your stories with us and who continue to come to Collapsing Duality :)

Brendan and Paula


11/29/2010 or 11 11

I felt I should write about something that Paula and I have been dealing with since we met, but probably before - if not from the day we were born.

I wrote on 11/16/10 that I was not writing about negative things in an attempt to be so positive that all things negative, would just roll off of our shoulders. I wrote that that didn't work.

Since Paula and I have moved into our new home we have had much company in the way of spirits - just as we did back when we lived in Massachusetts. However, since moving in to this latest home, we have not had one sound night sleep. Not one! Why? Because we have had a spirit working on us - one of the same ones that was working on us since Massachusetts days. I'm not talking about the psi-attacker / aka: Archamini Amora. I am talking about the same being(s) that Protilius and Idavathian refused to speak of, to us. They refused to tell us the name of this spirit which is also the name of that pyramid.

This was also the same pyramid (1 of many) that was involved in a war on the Plains. I wrote about this war last summer in 09. I did not stay talking about it much because it's negative.

Anyway, that same being has shown his face to me. He has kept Paula and I sleepless since we've moved in here. Sleep deprivation is serious as you know. Have you ever tried going to sleep with a spirit slamming doors, making thudd noises in the house and trying to knock your soul out of your body? This is what we've been dealing amongst all the other things going on in the 3D world: Ie - bills, sketchy jobs, and illness - to name a few. Factor in all of this, and maybe you can understand where I'm at and why Paula does not write much on here. We are still human and fear is an issue.

So...over the past 3 nights (especially) this being kept me up and without sleep. The second night was the worst because he made several attempts to take over my soul. I tried sleeping in other rooms but it only made it worse. The only comfort I had was to sleep curled up to Paula. Yet, even then, it would not stop.

On the third night, I got mad and went into 3rd eye and did a scan of the house to see if he had any gaul to show his face. I found him standing right over my bed. He had more of an appearance than a man than an alien, but was still alien. He was more proportionate to a human than alien, is what I'm saying. He had no clothes on. They usually don't.

As soon as I saw him, I split into journey mode (astral projected) and punched him. He quickly countered with a punch of his own and we were spinning through the air with fists and kicks landing wildly. Every time he would attack, I'd just split my being up into a million energy particles, regroup, then make an assault of my own.

While all of this was going on, I was telling him to get out and leave us both alone. He told me that he would never stop and that if I was successful, there would more beings to fill in his place.

After a few minutes (our time) of spirit battle, I decided that this was going nowhere. I snapped back to my body, opened my eyes and wondered what the hell this thing was. I had to find out. I needed to know what the hell is trying to destroy Paula and I and even the people closest to us.

On that note: I closed my eyes and did another house scan. He was not in the bedroom. Not in the kitchen. Not in the Living room. But...I found him in the den. As I made the corner in the hallway and looked into the den. I found him standing over the coffee table, looking down with intent interest at something we had on the table. I wouldn't know what he was staring at til the next day.

Anyway, I asked him what he wanted from me and Paula. He said, "I am here to tear you apart and kill you if possible." I asked why and he said that I knew why. I asked who his name was and he laughed. "You know my name," he said. Then I said that I did not and that I wanted to hear it from his mind. He laughed again. "You do know my name and yet I can tell you wouldn't even know the correct spelling." Tell me your name, I demanded. That's when he told me his name and indeed, I had heard it before and yet, I will not speak of it hear, just as Protilius and Idavathian did not speak of it on the Plains.

This is what this being wants. He wants me to tell his name on this journal and I will not - EVER!

After that, I went through the house doing a blessing and got what sleep I could that night. Next day, I told Paula about the battle. I told her he was in the den. That's when I got up to go see what he was staring at in the den. There, in the middle of the coffee table, there was a pyramid candle that Paula had made and hand crafted herself. This was what the being was staring at! Is it any wonder? I think not!

Also on this day, I went to Idavathian, Protilius and Elloweina. I told them everything and they confirmed it was true. They also said that after that war last year, there will be many of these beings trying to stop the driving force of divine love. They said that these things will all play out, right here on earth as there is no veil to seperate as there once was.

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That was the short of the story.

that's all for now.




in an email (which was anonymously sent to us) from somebody said:

"I just stumbled across your website.
Yes, I already had this happen. My other is 400 miles away and yes the connection is off the charts. 
I am staying anonymous for now, but wanted to express a heartfelt THANK YOU for publishing the information.
It is real.  I was not looking. Actually I was already married, house, etc. One day I met my twin and woooosh!
Strange dreams, visions, divine sex and so much more.
Keep going dude!
You are touching many with a big truth!"



I decided a little while back that I would stop talking about all the negative things, things that keep trying to pull us apart, on the journal page and anywhere else we post on the internet. This was an experiment. I did this to see if NOT talking about the negative things would help them to fade away. didn't help.

Things are still rough on our end. Everything is working against us it seems. There's so much that I can't even verbalize it or write about it... until now.

There will be many changes over the next month or two for Paula and I. Basically, we're going to have to split for awhile so that I can find a better paying job and to help out with my children back in MA, both who are sick and about to be uprooted with nowhere to go. There is promise about getting a new job back home from an old friend who has always paid very well, but I'm still waiting on the word for that. If that comes through, then I can help my kids find a new place to live and then turn around and help Paula with her rent back here in Ohio. As of right now, I can neither help my children or help Paula. 

All I can do right now, is provide moral support for my kids back home and love Paula when I'm not too far gone in worry or too deep in despair about all of these calamities. This is such a sad decision to make. I'm torn.

When I can get some balance and help those closest to me and who I live my life with, then I will better be able to help those who come here looking for answers and to share experiences. When that happens, I will be back on here to write again. You better believe it :)

The only advice I can offer or say to you right now is: Honor your children (whether they live with or without you) to the end. Love them and make them a part of your life - no matter what! And...Always, always make it your mission, even if you get sidetracked or put off course, to be with your divine compliment.

That's my plan. While I will have to be away from Paula for awhile, I will never stop trying to find a way for us here on Earth. Paula is the love of my life. 

Twin Flame relationship is more than just a relationship - like the ones we've always known. There are many gray areas where decisions are left up to us. It was designed this way.

I will still be posting Twin Flame Stories as they come in, but that will be it. My focus needs to be more on the people who I can reach out and touch with my hands.

I can be contacted by email, but please understand if I am unable to respond.

Best Regards



Please check out our Twin Flame 11 11 Day guestbook and our 11 11 Day Twin Flame Story Submission from A.W. and A.C.



A Twin Flame Relationship

A Twin Flame relationship represents a whole in that the unity of divine feminine and divine masculine, merge and become one. But to the whole...that is your soul family, your divine union with oneness shows you how that there is no ONE to stand alone, but that this time, it will take 2 -to represent the golden sum.

What does the Golden Sum Equal? 




Yay!!! I fixed the url so that we're not repeating the year 2010. We're safe now, no need to panic. Take the boards off of the windows, open the shutters, come out of the basement - the year 2010 will not be repeated. In fact, not will any other year, month, week, day, hour or minute - if we're living for NOW :)

Let me serve you up an idiom.

Let's break the mold of past beliefs and future expectations and live totally for the now. I've been able to do it - live totally in the now. Yet, past decisions and obligations remind me that I cannot always do that. However, living in the now is like living at zero point. When focused on the here and now, we can be at our best and in pure balance.

Yet, there is always something to come up to knock us out of the here and now. Did you ever notice that? I did. I find it rather annoying and end up having to start all over again on the path to get back to the hear and now.  It's like a test. In that test, we strive for some balance and some love and some peace and happiness. Then, out of nowhere, a situation arises and WHAMM! You're right back to where you started from.

When this happens, I analyze the situation and go back over my past experiences to tell if there is repetition in the experience. If there is repetition - like a cycle, I then know that this is a test. Otherwise, this experience would not keep presenting itself.

Repetition in life is there to remind us we have work to do.

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I'm still working on the PROFILES page of this site. This is the page where Twin Flames get to write about their story's. Anyway, it looks rather atrocious at the moment, but people can still fill out their story and submit it.

The profiles page is one of the very first pages I ever built on this site. It has not been messed with, since then. Going back to it now, with what I have learned since about site building is crazy! I am basically having to start from scratch.

Dealing with html just plain old sucks. Trying to make html do what it is supposed to do and how it is supposed to look to the viewer could only be comparable (to me anyway) to that of trying to cut and paste Egyptian hieroglyphs into a Microsoft webding chat room. No...maybe that's not it at all. Maybe - just maybe, creating a web page is more like creating a collage - the way we did back in like the 1970's - before cable, before internet, before South Park. :)

Back in the 70's we cut out pictures from magazines or photo albums, then we arrange them into certain places. When that is done - we add our captions and so forth. Then we use either paste or tape or matting to hold everything together. Only, today...our collages that we make are usually on the internet (unless we're still old school) and when we want to add something to our site, from the net, we need to do using html - if you are a site builder.

Brendan will never get used to html. I guess I am old school in that respect.

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I recently updated the videos on the home page, this page and the Our Story page. Check them out!

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Today was Lillie's Birthday! Paula and I took her to an indoor amusement park of sort. We played laser tag, bowled, video gamed it and go carted it. It was awesome. Lilly had a great birthday because she deserved it :)

Today was Lilli'es day. Lillian Indigo, that is :) I call her Lilly Pop because she's got so much "POP" for a child. That's my nickname for her :)

In the middle of our day, we took time and had Lilly open her gifts from everybody. She loved them all :)

As far as food goes - I am still stuffed from all the pizza we ate. Pizza and cake. Wahoo! This was good pizza too!!!


Happy Birthday Lilly

Love Brendan and Paula


Ever wanted to know what being in a Twin Flame relationship can be like? This is physical and emotional preparation for your Twin Flame. Your instructor - Buster Keaton: Check out - THIS VIDEO!



Hmmm...what to do with all this space :)

Oh yeah....I'll write :)

lol - did you see how I named the journal page? The url says: TwinFlameJournal_Nov_Dec_Jan2010 :) guess I'll have to fix that'n.


We received a GREAT Twin Flame Story by Cynthia and Eugene. Be sure to check it out and sign the guestbook at the bottom of the page. The guestbook is there to leave positive feedback for those who submit stories. It's there to offer advice, give thanks and praise!

that's all for now
Collapsing Duality...Journal   Nov/Dec-2010 - Jan of 2011
Elloweina - Click to Enlarge